Suffering well does NOT mean “submitting” to ABUSE!

(Well … this topic is obviously hitting a nerve with a lot of people. So here is a little addendum to my previous posts on the conflicts between women and their church leaders …)

I always say this when I speak at any women’s event, so I’d better be sure to say it explicitly here too:

When I am talking about “suffering well” and “loving our enemies” I am NOT talking about women lying down on the ground like doormats–especially not regarding PHYSICAL ABUSE.

If you are being physically abused, GET HELP! There are overlapping spheres of authority in these situations–including civil/criminal authorities–that may be the very way that God ministers His will to all of the people involved (including the abuser).

But again–just to restate what I AM saying one more time …

Most (but not all) of the situations that I interact with do NOT involve physical abuse or “direct orders” by someone in authority that a woman “has to” sin.

Usually, the woman is HURT, sad, disappointed, and angry because the person in authority has not lived up to her expectations.

Maybe he is incompetent. Immature. Ignorant when it comes to how different men and women can be.
 Maybe he has never even tried to minister God’s grace to her or to her family–
Or maybe he HAS tried but he’s done a lousy job.

Whatever the case, somehow she has been very (very!) hurt by him and it is HARD to persevere in love.

THAT is the situation I’m talking about. Not the one where a cult-like “leader” abuses his “followers” and warps the good concept of authority into self-serving evil.

Hope this helps to clarify!

Yours,
Tara B.