You and I are Different

I had one of my “unprepared for a speaking event” dreams last night—I’m sure in part because I am serving at a staff meeting for our local crisis pregnancy center next week and in part because the inaugural launch of my new women’s retreat on fear is coming up very soon. These dreams are really something else. Extremely stressful and embarrassing while I’m going through them, but kind of funny in hindsight once I wake up and (WHEW!) realize they were only dreams. (Thank. God. Thank. You. God!)

To scratch one of the to-do’s off of my subconscious worry wort area, I decided to use my early morning time to finalize my speaking notes and handouts for the staff training next week. Our time together is kind of a follow-up to some basic peacemaking training that my friend and I did for them last summer. Next week, I’m going to be facilitating their discussion of some of the conflicts that can arise, not because of any substantive matter, but simply because of the diversity of personalities present in any group of people (staff, volunteers, clients, family members, etc).

As usual, although I didn’t know it at the time I accepted the invitation to serve (last fall), I really needed to be reminded of these things this week. Personality is just SO fascinating! And it’s incredibly helpful to remember that God’s glory is shown in how DIFFERENT we all are. I’m really seeing this truth this week especially re: my marriage. Oh! How different Fred and I are. And what a grace that is.

I won’t review all of my research and prep with you—but consider just two points:

1. In our premarital (actually pre-engagement) counseling, our pastor had us complete the DISC Personality Profile. He encouraged us to review the results throughout our marriage and we really should be listening to that advice! Just remembering anew how steady and conscientious Fred is made my heart overflow with gratitude and love—for him and for God bringing such a husband to me. Just think what a miserable life I could have had married to any other man! But instead God has brought me dear Fred. I am so grateful.

2. I felt all that love and gratitude again when I reviewed Eysenck’s Personality Questions too. What a merciful God to bring me such a wonderfully phlegmatic husband: self-content and kind, very accepting and affectionate, consistent, relaxed. I mean, seriously! What if I had married someone like me?! (melancholy choleric) Misery! And fireworks. But mostly misery! Ahhhh …. thank You, God for Fred.

One quick point before I sign off …

I don’t mean to imply that we should EVER use our personality as an excuse for lovelessness or sin. NEVER should we say, “Well. That’s JUST the way that I AM. I’m an (fill in the blank) … extrovert, Type-A, INTJ, blah blah blah.” Wasn’t it Patsy Clairmont who said back in the 80’s:
 

“Jesus came to SAVE YOU from that ‘just the way that you ARE’!”

And she’s right. We are who we are—but God is growing us up in grace and sanctifying us to be more like Jesus. One evidence of His work of sanctification is when we take proactive steps to LESSEN the weaknesses inherent in our personalities and INCREASE the strengths—for God’s glory and love of neighbor. (NOT because it feels good or is easy!) And when we learn to enjoy the differences in OTHERS (accepting one another just as in Christ we have been accepted …. Romans 15:7).

And with that, I’m back to work. I don’t want to have a repeat of my unprepared speaker dream again. Oh! The complexity of attaching that wireless microphone (that had like a HUNDRED wires coming out of it) was stressful enough, but when half of the audience was AROUND A CORNER and I had to keep going back and forth to see them all and when I did so, my speaker notes DISAPPEARED? Yeah. Well. Not that refreshing or fun of a dream. So back to work.

Hope your Thursday is a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.