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Opposite of Winsome
Today’s Peacemaker Ministries PeaceMeal was entitled “The Maturity of Being Winsome”. Here is an excerpt: “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Matthew 18:15 We need to let go of the idea that showing someone his fault always requires direct confrontation. Although that approach will be appropriate in some situations, we should never do it automatically. Instead, we should ask God to help us discern the most winsome and effective way to approach a particular person at a particular time and to open the way for genuine reconciliation. (Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids,…
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Hard Conversations
Take Your VitaminZ linked over to this article that had an interesting take on hard conversations: On Hard Conversations I think it is particularly of interest to me this morning because I’ve been reflecting this week on various hard conversations that people have had with me over the years—some, redemptive. Some, condemning. But all, truly hard. I’ve also had to initiate some hard conversations lately—so that’ll have you on your knees and shaking a bit in your Keds as it were. And the leadership event I’m participating in next weekend down in SC will discuss redemptive confrontation / the “3rd G” – Gently Restore, so the topic is heavy on…
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Overlooking an Offense (HT: Tim Challies)
Tim Challies has a great post on overlooking that I encourage you to read: Overlooking an Offense His main points are: 1. Examine Yourself 2. Examine Yourself Again: Are You Right? 3. Determine the Importance 4. Look for Patterns 5. Be Sensitive 6. Seek Counsel And I’ll close with his closing words (on seeking counsel) to tempt you to (hopefully) click on through: “It may be valuable to seek the counsel of other mature Christians before pursuing confrontation. You will want to ensure that this is not simply an opportunity to gossip and vent, after which you will feel better and let the matter drop. But discreetly seeking wise…
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Given added effectiveness …
Pastor Anyabwile continues to knock it out of the park on his PureChurch blog: Repentance and the 21st Century Man He includes a lengthy quote by C. John Miller. Consider just an excerpt (emphases mine): “Effective counseling is principally a carrying forward in private of specific applications of the preaching ministry in the church. The gospel message is announced boldly in a public context and given added effectiveness by a one-to-one follow-up in dealing with particular idols which Christ wants removed from each of our lives. Such confrontation in preaching and counseling involves a sensitivity to the heart cries of men. It combines tears and truth, as we bow together…
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Confession of sin restores peace with God and others
Enjoying again William P. Smith’s Caught of Guard–Encounters with the Unexpected God. It’s probably helping me the most this morning because I just had to endure (endure sounds like too strong of a word) … experience (??) an embarrassing (but necessary! and loving, gentle, gospel-infused!) confrontational conversation with Fred. He has observed a sin in me and has been praying about how and when to talk with me about it. And this morning was the time. I was and am so ashamed. Ahhhh–but this is good shame. Godly shame–conviction!–that leads to repentance and faith and helps me to a) SEE; and b) TURN AWAY FROM sin. But as loving and…
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DVDs are here!!
Oh my STARS! Big ol’ boxes were just delivered to my back door … my DVD series is actually HERE! Living the Gospel in Relationships I’m a little freaked out. Feeling very vulnerable. (I think I feel like, “Why in the WORLD do I even TRY to do stuff like this!?! There are like a ZILLION people who teach this material better than me. I can’t believe I let myself be VIDEOTAPED. Eek!” etc. etc. But then I just say, “Oh well! All we can do is our best. Let it go, Tara. And just do the next thing.”) ANYWAY … if I can get packed for Florida (Hi Florida!)…
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So what can the men do to HELP the situation? (Women hurt by church leaders part 3 …)
Wow! I am a blessed woman to get to hear from so many wise people. (Men and women alike!) Thanks for the emails and for the encouragement/wisdom/gentle confrontations too. I really do appreciate you all. A recent email got me thinking along the lines of, “So, OK. You keep calling the women to remember the gospel and love well–but what about the MEN? What would you say to these leaders if you were given a chance?” Oooooh … what a good question! (As an aside, I’ve actually thought about this topic for a future book too–but I would want to co-author it with a pastor so that both “sides” (perspectives)…
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Ajith on being “FRUITFUL FAILURES”
Blessed yet again by an email from missionary/theologian Ajith Fernando– Chuckling at his comment that, “Today is my off day. On my off day I like to indulge by doing pleasurable things–usually that means eating sweet things which are now not good for me! So I indulged by writing the attached piece that emerged from my devotions when I read about Stephen!”– And seeing all sorts of opportunities to apply his wisdom (especially on LEADERSHIP) to our families, ministries, businesses, and churches– I received his permission to reprint it below. Hope you enjoy! God bless, Tara B. BEING FRUITFUL FAILURES Ajith Fernando What a challenge Stephen is to us! His…
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What if my husband were unrepentant?
(From 2006) What would I do if my husband were unrepentant? I was looking for an old email this morning and I came across this letter that I had written in response to a dear, precious, godly, wise woman who was struggling in an unhappy Christian marriage. Since I’ve already posted some blogs on ‘Miserable Christian Marriages’, I thought it might be helpful to share this letter with you. Hope so! (Please note that OF COURSE, all identifying information has been changed to protect her confidentiality. I’ve also deleted some of the letter because it was not directly relevant to this topic and I’ve also taken the editorial liberty of…
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What if my husband were unrepentant?
(From 2006) What would I do if my husband were unrepentant? I was looking for an old email this morning and I came across this letter that I had written in response to a dear, precious, godly, wise woman who was struggling in an unhappy Christian marriage. Since I’ve already posted some blogs on ‘Miserable Christian Marriages’, I thought it might be helpful to share this letter with you. Hope so! (Please note that OF COURSE, all identifying information has been changed to protect her confidentiality. I’ve also deleted some of the letter because it was not directly relevant to this topic and I’ve also taken the editorial liberty of…
