Opposite of Winsome

Today’s Peacemaker Ministries PeaceMeal was entitled “The Maturity of Being Winsome”. Here is an excerpt:

“If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Matthew 18:15

We need to let go of the idea that showing someone his fault always requires direct confrontation. Although that approach will be appropriate in some situations, we should never do it automatically. Instead, we should ask God to help us discern the most winsome and effective way to approach a particular person at a particular time and to open the way for genuine reconciliation.

(Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 145.)

Food for Thought

When Ken wrote, “Instead, we should ask God to help us discern the most winsome and effective way…” he used the word winsome. Do you know what that word means?

The dictionary defines it this way: Generally pleasing and engaging, often because of a childlike charm and innocence.

Most of us are not winsome.”

Amen to THAT.

Right now?
Even as I prep three teachings for an upcoming event?

I am anything but winsome. The first word that jumps to mind to describe me right now? SURLY:

“Inclined to anger or bad feelings with overtones of menace. Irritated, bad-tempered, unfriendly.”

So we’d better look up MENACE, don’t you think?

“A troublesome or annoying person: a toddler who was a menace in a shop full of crystal.”

Well, apparently Ken Sande nails it spot-on, yet again.

Just when I thought I might be growing even a tiny bit. Making a little progress. Putting aside childish things.

Tempted to be overly-confident? (Maybe.) Forgetting how HARD it is to persevere when you feel hopeless? Forgetting how AWFUL conflict feels? (Especially when you really really REALLY try to do a good job, serve well, give it your best—and people are STILL mad at you and blame you for things beyond your control?!) (Maybe.)

Tempted to preach a (nicely organized, even helpful) list of “ten steps” and “to-do’s” (with lots of Scripture of course). (Maybe.)

Needing to be kicked back yet again to see myself rightly?

“The uncomfortable truth is that even though we say we have a Christocentric worldview, when the pressure is on, we often shift to an egocentric view of our situation. We think selfishly rather than redemptively.” (Susan Hunt, True Woman)

(Yup. That’s me.)

Oh oh oh! Who will rescue me from this troublesome, annoying, apparently VERY immature, not winsome body of death?

“For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent,
and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not be quiet,
until her righteousness goes forth as brightness,
and her salvation as a burning torch.

The nations shall see your righteousness,
 and all the kings your glory,
and you shall be called by a new name
that the mouth of the Lord will give.

You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,
and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” Isaiah 62:1-3

Note: This doesn’t say, “You MAY POSSIBLY be a crown of beauty.” This does not say, “If you get your act together, you MAY POSSIBLY be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord.” No. “You shall.” “You shall.” Why? Why so assured? Especially given the day I’m having? Why so completely and utterly MANDATED, promised, covenanted?

Because God will have His way. He makes the covenant. He keeps the covenant. He chooses sinners unto Himself. He keeps (redeemed, justified, adopted) sinners unto Himself. He justifies and He sanctifies. He saves us and He grows us in grace.

Left to our own devices, we would have no hope.

Today? Right now? Looking only at my heart and my circumstances, I have no hope.

And so … and so …

“I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.” Psalm 121:1-4

“Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
Bread of heaven, bread of heaven,
Feed me till I want no more;
Feed me till I want no more.”

Amen.