Lili’s fine–but I thought I might be headed for crutches …

Eeeeek! It is just NOT a good thing to FALL when you’re an out-of-shape 37 year-old.
Eek and ouch and watch out for that divot next time!

(Was scolding Lili for chewing the raspberry bushes and mis-stepped into a divot and fell. Twisted my left ankle and fell on my twice-surgically-altered right knee and OUCH! But I’m fine–just a little sore.)

Oh–and Lili seems to be 100% recovered and back to her cute and only-sometimes-obedient self.
(Thanks for the sweet notes of concern and encouragement.)
(I’m assuming it was the raspberry bushes that made her sick, poor love.)

On the relational-issue-front, I had one of those FREAK OUT ON THE INSIDE BUT KEEP IT COOL ON THE OUTSIDE moments at the vet’s today when I saw a business card for a certain person and found out that s/he frequents the same vet clinic.

This is a person that I tried to HELP years ago but who currently HATES me.
I’ve tried everything (and I mean everything!) to appeal for reconciliation–all to no avail.

Fred and my pastors say, “Let it go. Continue to pray, but unless the Lord moves and works a miracle, there is really nothing else you can do. Don’t be afraid. Just let it go.”

But I just HATE that I failed in this relationship.
I tried SO HARD to help!
I wanted SO BADLY to be a blessing.

But this person has a LONG (long long VERY LONG) reputation for broken relationships …
And I was even WARNED AGAINST trying to help him or her …

(Oh WHY OH WHY didn’t I listen to counsel!! Stubborn girl, I am. I pray that I am MUCH more obedient to wise counsel next time!!)

But I tried anyway.
 And when things weren’t “just right”
(i.e., when I listened to the words I was TOLD by this person rather than READING HIS OR HER MIND and figuring out what was REALLY going on–which was COMPLETELY 100% THE OPPOSITE of what I was being told …)

I was kicked out of the relationship and told to never have any future contact.
(Which is, well, EXACTLY what happened to all of the other poor schlumps who tried to help in the past too. Oh WHY OH WHY did I think I would be different??? Hubris?? A sincere desire to help?? Probably a combination of the two.)

ANYWAY … I suggested to Fred that we immediately change vets to avoid seeing this person by accident.
He said, “Nah. Don’t worry about it, Tara.”

(Easy for him to say! He’s offended, what … ONE person in the entire fourteen years I’ve known him? Oh, no … I think maybe TWO if I’m honest. Yeah, he can really relate to Tara-the-oft’-wrecking-ball-of-relationships-no-matter-how-hard-she-tries. Sure.)

So I guess I won’t have the temporary pleasure of slipping down the ol’ Slippery Slope into denial and flight. Guess I’ll actually have to persevere in love for God and neighbor.

Pesky ol’ faith.
Gets ya’ every time.

(Thank God! Thank God! THIS is an evidence of grace in my life. To be called to do what I don’t want to do? What would ever do that other than God’s grace? My flesh? The world? Satan? No way! But faith says that I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Even at the vet’s office with a person who rejects and disdains me. What a strange and glorious truth.)

Hope you’re all enjoying a sweet Saturday.

I am hoping that our family will enjoy that redemptive combination of work and rest where you can really enjoy the rest without guilt/shame because you actually did your duty first.

God bless you–

With love,
Tara B.