Not Wanting to Have to Repent Later

I only have a second because I’m typing this on Fred’s laptop and he has to leave for work soon …

But I wanted to tell you three graces that God gave me yesterday that helped me to not sin as I tried to dig out from the chaos that had taken over (literally) every single room in our tiny little home. As I worked to tackle the piles (and piles and PILES) of stuff (suitcase and box that needed unpacking, mail to sort and deal with, craft and school and science fair stuff everywhere, sick-kid-survival-mode-areas strategically placed throughout the house filled with books and CDs and projects), I remembered:

1. That Paul Tripp quote from “A Quest for More” that I read at the retreat on Saturday (about a mother “in a flash of irritation” sacrificing the relationship she is supposed to have with her child on the altar of her desire for order/cleanliness) and I really TRULY prayed that God would help me to NOT do that.

2. I remembered how hard Fred worked to keep things orderly and how, actually, they WERE quite orderly (underneath the piles there was a strong undercurrent of non-chaos). And I really wanted to communicate to Fred how grateful I was. I felt grateful! I wanted to demonstrate gratitude. And I knew that being frustrated and angry was not the way to do it.

3. In a “moment of sanity” I told myself that a) At some point (maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week), there WOULD be order again (I really did have a dining room table underneath all of that stuff, somewhere!); and b) I didn’t really want to have to repent later for sinning NOW to get to that orderly point.

Was I 100% successful? No. But I was definitely BETTER than I’ve been at other times.

Total grace.

And today? I get to have a 100% TECHNOLOGY-FREE-DAY because Fred is doing something with my laptop that requires me to NOT TOUCH IT.

Wow. I can’t think of the last time I went an entire day without email or facebook, etc. I think it was the time at my event in Florida when my laptop’s AC charger fritzed out and I was left with nothing other than a hotel PEN the entire weekend (and the three flights home). Wow. That was a long stretch.

But today? I’m thinking glitter and glue and Valentine’s Day box creation time. And maybe some cookies in matching aprons? Oh, only if Soph feels up to it. (I just asked her and she said through her croupy little cough, not even raising her fevered head above the pillow, “OK, Mom.”) Hmmmmmm … maybe we’ll just snuggle the day away and watch musicals and operas.

Please bear with my lack of response on email and fb and blog comments today!

Cutting the string to the Internet now—

Yours,
Tara B.