Memories, memories …

Many of you know that I have some, well, not-so-pleasant memories from my childhood. My family has given me permission to share our story and I often do (i.e., whenever I am invited to share my testimony at a conference/retreat/keynote, etc.).

But along with the hard stuff, I truly have some very happy memories from my childhood. (Even during the most trying years.) For example:

-How absolutely SAFE and happy I felt reading and sleeping on the backseat floor of our big ol’ Tornado as our family took cross-country driving trips. (Yes, yes … I know it’s hard to believe in the age of all things carseats (and I’m now THE enforcer of seatbelts, believe you me!) … but back in the ’70’s, we used to lie in the BACK WINDOW of cars and wave at the truck drivers to try to make them honk their horns!! It’s true, it’s true.) I just remember feeling all snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug with my dad driving, my mom there, and my sister asleep on the back seat.

– How much I loved our family dogs. They were such great companions to me–this lonely little girl who wondered if there was anything loveable in her. My dogs loved me and I loved them back–plus they were SO FUN! Looking back on those years, I truly believe they were a gift of God’s grace to me during a difficult time of life.

– My dad always left Kali and me a little Valentine present on Valentine’s Day morning before he left for work. A tiny box of candies, a stuffed bear. It didn’t matter WHAT it was … but I can’t tell you how wonderful and special it made me feel.

– My mom always did Easter up BIG (nothing to do with Jesus, of course, but OH! the eggs & bunnies & toys were FUN for this kid!). I loved searching for my “basket” and hunting for eggs … especially ALWAYS finding one in the MOUTH of this giant FISH my dad had caught off the coast of Florida and had hung on our wall for years. Every Easter there’d be an egg in that fish’s mouth–it was such a happy, STABLE little thing in a tumultuous / unstable childhood. Still makes me smile to think about it.

– Of course, I always wanted to do EVERYTHING my sister did … and I have very happy memories of us ice skating for hours (pretending to be “Donny & Marie!”); playing “9-1-1 Emergency” in our backyard with all sorts of exciting rescues; staying up ALL NIGHT playing “Space Invaders” just to see the 999,999 roll back over to “1” (there was no proof–but we KNEW we had done it!), and getting into all sorts of mischief doing gymnastics off of the couches, “bowling” with fruit from the fruit bowl, and experimenting with FIRE (I was quite a budding pyromaniac in the day).

– And MUSIC … lots of MUSIC. Even during the worst years, my parents encouraged me in my music. They bought me a trumpet. They bought me a piano. They paid for lessons for many years–and they attended many of my recitals and musicals/shows. Again, I truly believe that having the outlet of PIANO growing up was a great gift of God’s common grace even to me, back then still an unbeliever. It was such a release and outlet for positive things in my life–and I’m grateful to my parents for providing it for me.

– Lastly … and actually, the “CAUSE” of this blog … I have a very strange and funny and sweet memory from high school that came from my mom … It was after I had accompanied a community musical (“I Do! I Do!”) and my mom’s friend drove in from Chicago to take my mom and me out for dinner to “celebrate.” He had a SPORTS CAR and he bought me a HUGE bouquet of flowers. The three of us went DOWNTOWN to a “real” Chicago restaurant and all the way there and back we listened to George Winston’s “December.” When they got me home, he gave me the tape. (Yes, TAPE. I’m ancient, I know.) And I listened to it for DECADES until I wore it out. Now? I’m sitting here blogging to my CD of “December” and the happy memories of my mom’s kindness those many years ago still warms me to this day.

Thanks for reading my little trip down happy memory lane!

Positive or negative …
Happy or painful …
Glorious or disappointing …
 Our pasts are our pasts and our memories are our memories.

How I pray that you, too, might have SOME sweetness to your memories!
And even if every single memory from your childhood is heart-breaking …
That you will still remember and PROFESS and CLING to the fact that GOD IS GOOD.
And His love endures forever.

If we are His, in Christ …
We have all we NEED.
Anything beyond that is just sweet icing on the cake.

Happy, Blessed Sabbath to each one of you!
I love you–

Yours,
Tara B.