Conflict (Sometimes) Makes Us Stupid

When you fly as much as I do, you get very used to the pre-flight boarding pattern of every commercial airline:

• One hour prior: Gate agent arrives
• 40 minutes: Mandatory announcements are made and gate-check tags are distributed if needed
• 30 minutes: First Class/Pre-Boarding or Pre-Boarding/First Class (may vary)
• Then Elites / exit row
• Then the lemmings in steerage

 
I actually find it relatively comforting—the lining up of businesspeople who must get their rollaboards into the overhead space; the confused occasional-only travelers who aren’t quite sure what is going on; the rest of us just trying to survive the jostling. I try to keep my eyes peeled for someone I can help; I always take my laptop bag off of my shoulder (otherwise you clonk people as you go down the aisle); and I am super fast at getting my bag into the overhead bin and then stepping quickly out of the way.

Yesterday, however, on one of my three flights, the easy/normal routine of boarding was ripped to shreds by one of the angriest women I have ever seen. (And think about it—I’m a mediator in church conflicts! I’ve seen some seriously angry people in my life.)

Apparently she did not hear the end of the announcement, which clearly said:

“If you are traveling with small children you are welcome to board with zone 2 …”

Because as soon as they started boarding (zone 1) she literally shoved first class passengers out of the way to bring herself (and her child) to the front of the line where the gate agent began to say something along the lines of, “Pre-boarding for families with small children will begin in just a moment …”; but she was interrupted by a scream of profanity-laden words so strong that people just walking by the gate even stopped and cringed. The gate agent (wisely) just let this woman board and then went on with the process. But as the rest of us handed her our boarding passes, we a) commended her for not escalating the situation; and b) silently hoped that we were NOWHERE NEAR the world’s angriest mother.

It really was a perfect example of how conflict can make us stupid. (Have you ever heard that statement: “Sin makes us stupid”? I tried to source it but couldn’t.) This woman was clearly in the wrong and clearly out of control in her fury; but she didn’t have a clue.

How often do we lose perspective like that? Raise our voices? Slip right off the Slippery Slope into the attack zone only to find out later that we misheard something or that we were simply wrong? Or even if we were “right,” our attitude and raw emotion were absolutely out of proportion to the situation?

No. I didn’t judge the woman—I was a little scared of her, but mostly I felt sorry for her; related to her; and prayed for her—and for myself. That rather than rage and stupidity we might both respond to small conflicts and big conflicts with gentleness and wisdom. May God help us! (He does. He does.)

Off to the Palmeto Presbytery PresWIC Conference now! Can you believe I was in snow one day ago and this is my view today?

God’s creation is beautiful! And His people are even more beautiful.

Thanks for bringing me out here, South Carolina!

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.