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Category Archive for: ‘Hope in Suffering’

Sticking with People is Frustrating … You Will Suffer Pain if You are Committed to People

What a contrast in articles! The first is what I would charitably characterize as a, well, not very gracious, thoughtful, or helpful article on why every woman should “ditch the guilt” dropping her little baby off with the “professionals” because staying home with young children can “drive you bonkers,” “give you a back problem and a brain ache,” and women …

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Don’t Kid Yourself — Parents Die

  (A repost from 2013.) Thanks to my astoundingly generous sister, I have had an iPhone for one year now. She bought it for me mostly because it was the same cost as renting a GPS for me for one of my events that required me to drive—and she knows that I am the MOST spatially-confused human on the planet. …

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The Most Scared I Have Ever Been in my Entire Life

On the drive home from church today, my ten year-old daughter asked me when I was the most scared in my entire life. I thought for a moment and then I replied that the saddest I had ever been was when our second child died on that fateful Easter afternoon in 2007 and then when my best friend, my mother, passed away in …

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The Post-It Notes I Scribbled the Day Before My Mother Died

[From the archives. A few weeks after my mother died in December of 2012.] I finally dragged myself out of bed yesterday to tackle some of the dust bunnies (really Golden Retriever bunnies) that have accumulated in our bedroom and when I was swiffering out under our bed, the following note scritched its way off of our hardwood floor: “More …

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Vandalizing Shalom

From one of my favorite books … C. Plantinga’s, Not The Way It’s Supposed to Be–A Breviary of Sin: “None of our lives is an accident. We have been called into existence, expected, awaited, equipped, and assigned. We have been called to undertake the stewardship of a good creation, to create sturdy and buoyant families that pulse with the glad give-and-take …

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The Struggle with Perspective

“When hope fades, cynicism is often waiting in the wings. And this is indeed one of the great challenges of our time. Skepticism (there is nothing good and I know it) and cynicism (I can’t trust anybody or anything and I know this) seem reasonable choices. But is this a necessary outcome or orientation for us? I think not … …

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Peeling Back the Layers of our Complex Pain: Our past is important, but not determinative

Angry people are sometimes sinfully angry; and sometimes angry people are fearful people who have no idea how frightened (and frightening) they are. Avoidance of duties may be sinful laziness and sloth, but sometimes it can be genuine exhaustion that comes from our trying (consciously or unconsciously) to stomp down and avoid deep grief and pain. Some of us are sinfully proud and foolish …

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Easter Makes Me Think of Death—But That’s OK

Our Easter this year will be a very strange one. Rather than church services and corporate hymns (“Christ has Arisen, Alleluia!” and “Christ the Lord is Risen Today!”), our family will be 50 feet under the ocean enjoying a strangely-timed (but I’m sure enjoyable) SCUBA trip. Still. It’s Easter Week. And that means I’ve been thinking through our Lord’s final …

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The Last Words My Mother Ever Said to Me (This is a Sad/Disturbing Post That You May Want to Skip)

A few days before the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing, I wrote this post. I still miss her every day. *** In a few days, it will be one year since my mother passed away. In general, I’m in a very happy and relaxed state this Advent and it is a sweet Christmas season for our young family. …

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Turning and Facing the Specifics of My Assault. (A brief primer on trauma recovery and anniversary dates …)

Last Spring, when my trauma counselor first gave me a homework assignment that included me figuring out the exact date of my sexual assault last fall, I instinctively recoiled and said, “No way!” I was in counseling to get over this terrible thing that happened to me. I didn’t want to focus on it. But, of course, my very wise and experienced counselor …

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