Being Kicked to the Relational Curb
I once had a pastor who preached a wonderful sermon on 1 Peter 4:7-11 entitled, “Love Each Other Deeply.”
Consider the life-changing truths that he mentioned:
– CS Lewis stated that “love is risky business,” “love makes us vulnerable,” and, “the only way to keep your heart intact is to give your heart to no one–not even an animal.” How right he is!
(This reminded me of something this very pastor once said to Fred and me years ago. We were talking about how terribly even ostensibly mature Christians can treat people, and our former pastor said this, “It’s ministry. It hurts.” Isn’t that true? If it were chocolate, it would taste good; if it were a new blockbuster movie, it would be fun and pleasant. But it’s ministry. It hurts.)
– In light of God’s PERFECT love toward us, we are called (by grace! by faith!) to live in a posture of mercy–to lean toward grace.
(Isn’t that a beautiful and helpful image? What is our posture? What is our “bent“? Are we choosing our words and making our choices based solely on our own self-interest, comfort, convenience, and ease? Or are we leaning toward grace? Are we listening to gossip from years ago and making decisions today without ever even speaking to the person who has been so gracelessly hated and shamed by professing Christians? Or are we living from a posture of mercy, rich in lavish compassion and kindness?)
– When someone approaches you and asks for help/prayer regarding deep suffering, abject terror, broken heartedness, or even ongoing sin in their lives, do you throw a quick, “Love ya!” over your shoulder while turning quickly in the other direction, erecting a wall of silent treatment that would put most Junior High students to shame? Or do you place their pain in the context of your pain? Do you compassionately bear with them in their struggle or do you kick them to the relational curb?
(Ostracization to the relational curb sure feels easier in the short run, doesn’t it? But just as my young daughters asked me this morning in our family Bible reading and prayer time: Where is the love in that? We re-read this passage of Scripture from the sermon and it led to questions like: How is kicking someone to the relational curb “loving deeply”? How does the silent treatment demonstrate “pure grace that covers over a multitude of sins?”)
this way. Because God interacts with us from a position of mercy, we always are called to interact with our brothers and sisters in Christ from a position of mercy too.
So true. So very true.
May God help us all to love one another in ways that go far, far beyond mere words. For it would be so much better for an actual enemy to simply say they HATE US, wouldn’t it? Than to have a professing “friend” keep saying how much they love us, while violating every precept of what love actually is, kicking us in the emotional gut, and abandoning us in the icy water of the withdrawal-of-relationship curb?
May God have mercy on us all,
Tara B.
[A repost from October 9, 2006]