How to Overcome Fear (by Dr. Andrew Selle)
I once served on a conflicted church intervention team with an extremely gifted mediator and counselor: Dr. Andrew Selle of Vermont’s Christian Counseling and Mediation ministry. We have stayed in touch over the years and occasionally I receive his ministry’s newsletter. All of them are excellent! Including today’s.
Dr. Selle has graciously given me permission to share it with you:
The Difference of Bold Faith: Overcoming Crippling Fears in Peacemaking
2013 Peacemaker Conference
Greetings, friend. This has been one of those summers that really, really flew by, and it’s past time to get another news & prayer letter out! As I write, Dawna & I are preparing for the Peacemaker Ministries annual conference where we will lead a workshop about overcoming fears that hinder peacemaking. One of the required readings is a recently revised journal article, “The Bridge Over Troubled Waters: Overcoming Crippling Fear by Faith and Love,” about helping a woman with a bridge phobia. But the same model can help all of us who face fear at every point on its continuum (from worry to panic). Printed below is an excerpt and summary.
EXCERPT: Just drag those dark thoughts into the light of day. That can help. Yet…what if…? You can imagine Joan protesting, “But bridges DO fall down. Remember the collapse of that I-35 bridge in Minneapolis a few years ago? Thirteen people died, and I could have been one of them!” Clearly, Joan needs more than just courage. She needs the God who rules over bridges and the rest of the cosmos. So she steeps herself in Psalm 46—and hears the Lord there:
The psalmists never dodge the hard questions or cushion us from pain, yet they insist that we interpret our experience correctly with God at the center.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
What a vivid picture for the ancient Hebrew readers. The three things which are most unchangeable (the earth), most indestructible (mountains), and the most menacing (the sea), all conspire to bring disaster. With the onslaught of the ocean, everything plunges into the primeval deep, a repeat of the Genesis flood that sweeps away everything in its path. No bridge left standing. Yet in the face of ultimate calamity from any source, whether creation or wicked people, the psalmist can declare, “Therefore we will not fear….”—even if facing an imminent Assyrian invasion!
Is he suggesting that people of faith never feel fearful? Did the Israelites feel any fear when they heard the enemy general’s death threats and saw his violent hordes just outside the city wall? Do you ever feel fearful? If not, let’s check your pulse! The psalmist means, “Don’t give in to your fears and let them control you.” In other words, when you are afraid, the important matter is not what you feel but your interpretation and allegiance. Face down your fears, but quickly look to the Lord and hear his voice and his interpretation: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
There are times when you do not see these things clearly. Every pilot knows how flying into a heavy fog can distort one’s perceptions. But “when there is a contradiction between your senses and your instruments, you believe the instruments.” (Edward T. Welch, Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2007), p. 155)
“The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Always. Whether you see it or not. Whether you feel it or not.
WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION: Anyone who works with conflicted parties knows that overpowering fears, often unspoken, can torpedo the conciliation process. Fears function like idols because fear is the “flip side” of want—the soft underbelly of desire. If I pursue reconciliation…I’m afraid I will lose my case (I want to win)….I’m afraid others will see my failures (I want approval)….I’m afraid I will get hurt again (I want safe, low-risk relationships). Such fears drive us to avoid peacemaking and abandon relationships. You don’t have to be Dr. Phil to understand and address fear, and effective peacemakers must do so. How? By watching the Gospel break through! Through instruction, case studies, and class discussion, this workshop will present a biblical methodology for assisting people to become Gospel-driven rather than fear-driven (desire-driven). “Faith working by love” (Gal 5:6) releases people from fear’s bondage—and when that happens, reconciliation and remarkably different relationships are around the corner.
SUMMARY: HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR
1. NAME THAT FEAR
Face it and understand the fear thoughts that drive your fearful feelings. Peel back the layers of fear so you can confront them directly and in faith. Sometimes large underlying fears drive the lesser worries on the surface.
2. LISTEN TO GOD
Having faced your fears, look to the Lord and hear his voice and his interpretation: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Rehearse to yourself the truth about your God: he is able to help you as the Lord, and he is willing to help you as the Savior.
3. FLIP THE FEAR OVER
Find the DESIRES on the other side. These are the wants that become idols when you allow them to rule your life; they are gifts from God to be received with thanksgiving when they come, but held to loosely.
4. PRAY FOR YOUR DESIRES
These are the opposites of your fears. Your Father delights to give you good gifts, so you can pray confidently to him who truly loves you and knows what is best in the most profound and eternal way. As you pray, submit your desires to the searchlight of Scripture so they can be transformed by God’s agenda.
5. SURRENDER YOUR DESIRES
With faith in God’s character, release your desires to him. Repent of your idolatrous obsessions. Tell him that even though you want those things, you can live without them if necessary, because you have Him. You will not allow your wants to control your heart, because Jesus Christ redeemed you with his own blood. Worship God in adoration and thanksgiving, rejoicing in the fellowship and power of the Holy Spirit.
6. LOVE GOD AND OTHERS
Do so according to your gifts, current opportunities, and personal calling. Love with your mind, your responsibilities, your words, and your relationships. Choose to make praise and thanksgiving permeate your life, driving out fear. Love right now, no matter how you feel. You are free!