Let’s pretend that it’s the week before Christmas and you are gingerly stepping out of your comfort zone to try to be hospitable and relational by having people over to your home. You do your best. You strive to bless. But it’s a little shaky — you try to be relaxed and happy, but you really have no confidence that you CAN love well. The morning of the “weekend of three parties,” you are falsely and unjustly accused. And you know that the accusation has been broadcasted to others. And no matter how sorry the person may be, your reputation has taken a hit. THEN you open up your email…

Today I had a fun opportunity to serve two strangers. As I was walking to my car in the long-term parking lot at our little Billings airport, I saw an elderly couple walking around, pulling their suitcases, looking a little tired, frustrated, and confused. “Can’t find your car?” I called out. “Yup. Our neighbor said he’d leave it for us but my husband has walked this entire lot three times and we can’t find it.” So I offered to drive them around the lot in my car. When it wasn’t there, I paid my rate in order to exit the lot and take them over to short-term parking. After a…

As I read the blogs, news sites, and print media, and as I listen to talk radio and watch the news (hmmm …. maybe I’m spending a little too much time on this topic?), I am struck by just how much the horrible disaster of Katrina is like our interpersonal conflicts. Isn’t it true that in our marriages, churches, workplaces, so often we know that something is wrong (trust has been broken, we are offended or feel betrayed, our love is growing cold), but for the time being, we can carry on our daily lives just like normal and so we do. (Like knowing that a retaining wall could be…

I’ve been sickened, saddened, shocked, and discouraged by the horrible suffering as well as the wickedness of Man brought out in the devastating events of last week re: Katrina. Of course, I’ve also been rightly humbled, lavishly encouraged, and truly edified by God’s ministration of grace through His Word, His Spirit, and His people. Have you, too, been riveted to your tv? (And we only get three channels in Billings, so that’s saying something strange for us!) Fred and I pray, talk, and wonder … how are we to respond? What is God calling us to do? Give money? Absolutely. Pray? Yes, yes, yes. What about taking in a family?…

I’m sure you’re familiar with Romans 12:18: “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” It’s been ringing (screaming?) in my ears and heart all day. Why? Because I have two horribly broken relationships in my life and the weight of my sadness concerning them is simply crushing. (Conflict is miserable! And I’m the first one to admit it.) In the one relationship, it’s perfectly clear what has brought 99.9999999% of our downfall … I’ve just blown it. I’ve messed up in epic proportions. Ironically, I have actually tried incredibly hard to bless this person … but instead, I have messed up and wronged her and…

Tonight I received a tremendous blessing from some of the women in my church. As we visited during a bridal shower, I was reminded anew that I am not alone in this world. As much as I think that “I’m the only one who …” (struggles with this sin, encounters this challenge in her marriage, fails in this area, doesn’t measure up in that area) … Really? Truly? There are more people like me than unlike me. Even the ones that I’m just so sure have it “all together” — don’t. The marriage that just “has to” have the perfect romantic life — doesn’t. The beautiful woman who always comes…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I interact with friends and acquaintances. Specifically, when might it be the most God-honoring and loving thing to do to remain silent (supportive, encouraging, loving–but “non-confrontational”), and when it is that I might be called to gently speak Truth (counsel the Word). Let me give you an example … I’m having lunch with a friend and it is obvious that she is bitter. I mean really angry, grouchy, judgmental, complaining–mad. As she shares her story, there is no mention of God, other than in disdainful and complaining ways. (“God is sure great to you and everyone else, but look at my horrible…

This week, my best friend Samara totally cracked me up with a story about her two-year old daughter, Scout. It seems that Scout has taken to saying, “Too fast! Too fast!” whenever they are driving in the car. Now, my friend is a careful driver and I seriously doubt that she is driving too fast. (In addition to Scout, she has their precious little eight-week-old son, William, in the car too. So I’m sure she’s being wise with her driving speed.) But one day Samara took a corner a little too sharply and she heard this cry from Scout’s carseat as her Dr. Seuss almost went flying: “Hold on, book!”…

After listening to me end a retreat session with something I say at almost every event, a professional counselor came up to me and taught me a new term: chronic uniqueness. You see, when I teach on how the Gospel of Jesus Christ applies to broken relationships, struggles with perfectionism and control, living for people’s approval, God’s bitter providence, idolatry of food, self-condemnation, shame, fear, depression, etc. etc. etc., I almost always hear some variation of the same theme: “Tara, I could totally relate to what you were talking about. I am just like you! But there is no one here (i.e., in my church, in my women’s ministry) who…

I am bowled over, yet again, by God’s merciful and abiding grace. Today I spoke with a dear friend who just months ago felt much (much!) more like an enemy. We had experienced a horribly painful breakdown in our relationship and things got so bad that we couldn’t even stand to speak with one another directly. I didn’t want to be around her and I know that she didn’t want to be around me either. But now? By God’s miraculous grace, I can honestly say that hearing her voice is a delight. If I had a Friday night and she was free, I would love to spend time with her,…