I received an email today from a fellow “recovering lawyer” who is interested in pursuing certification as a Certified Christian Conciliator with the Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker Ministries. (This is the organization where I used to serve as a director.) She asked some interesting questions and I thought that some of you might be interested as well, so here is a portion of our email exchange. 1. How well utilized is Christian conciliation? Is conciliation fairly well received by churches, in general? Also, about how many certified conciliators are out there right now? The service is well-respected and growing, but not that well utilized by most…

Last week, at different times, I had two (very well-respected, “successful”) Christians say basically the same thing to me: “The first time I met you, I just knew I wouldn’t like you. At all. And I didn’t.” But THEN, after getting to know me a little bit (AND after they observed me receiving some honor / awards / public acceptance), they said this: “But NOW I think that we really COULD be friends. I sure love you, Tara. I’d love to get to spend time with you and work with you.” Strange, huh? Not strange that they wouldn’t like me–that happens a lot. But strange to have two people in…

Did you know that Ephesians 4:29 (‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen’) can actually be translated: ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may BRING GRACE TO those who listen.’ I learned that in Ken Sande’s plenary yesterday and I just know that I’m going to be thinking about that a lot in the coming days. Joy to you! Love, Tara B. PS In one of…

Dr. Hawkins (formerly of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship) taught this morning on the characteristics of unity. He used Ephesians 4 as his text and here are just a few highlights from his teaching: In Ephesians 4:1-3, Paul is literally begging the church to ‘not just talk it—but to WALK it.’ To walk as if you have been called by someone special. – Humility is wanting to do the most for the other person. (And humility begats …) – Gentleness with patience (which is endurance that is willing to take PAIN in order to endure). I couldn’t help but reflect on how LACKING I am in humility. Seriously. How often am…

One of the workshops at the Peacemaker Conference was taught by my own beloved hubby, Fred. The topic was conflict over worship in the Church and it was provocatively named, ‘Worship Wars.’ (By the way … as a (proud!) attendee, I can testify that Fred did  a great job and we were blessed.) But one (ironic? sort of sad? sort of funny?) thing happened related to Fred’s workshop: apparently, one of the conference attendees said that HE planned on attending Fred’s workshop to learn how to WIN the ‘worship war.’ (Eek!)  

I received this PeaceMeal from Peacemaker Ministries and thought that it might bless you too. So here it is! The Needs of The Many Outweigh The Few Even if a change in focus does not allow you to overlook every offense, it can often help you in two other ways. First, by recalling what is good in another person, you often will realize how much you will lose if your differences are not resolved. Many marriages, friendships, and business relationships are lost because people focus exclusively on a point of disagreement and forget about all that they have enjoyed in and with one another. Remembering the good may provide the…

Earlier this week I was struggling to maintain gracious and loving feelings toward a certain person. We’re not that close of friends anyway; but we do see each other on a regular basis and because of the nature of our relationship, I truly am called to love and support her. BUT … there is a constant thread of sorrow and rejection associated with this relationship for me. In fact, years ago, this person just came out and told me that she would never give me another opportunity to serve with her again. That, based on my behavior in the past, her mind was completely made up and there was no…

Our church has home schoolers, public schoolers, Christian schoolers, Classical-education schoolers (sorry, I’m not sure what the right term is for that), and probably anything and everything that might fall somewhere in between. It’s great because Fred and I have a wealth of wisdom just waiting to be tapped as we seek to discern how best to educate our daughter. It’s also great because–honestly, truly!–the parents experience true friendship and God-honoring unity even though they disagree about this important issue. Let me give you an example from last week … I was at a party visiting with some friends who just started homeschooling for the first time. (Boy! Did they…

The other day I heard a compliment about a young man in our church. My friends were in a Bible study with him and they described him like this: “Dave (not his real name) is so willing to be vulnerable during our small group. He shares openly and honestly about his struggles with sin, temptation, unbelief … and we are all always left even more encouraged to believe on the goodness of God as a result of Dave’s genuineness and openness.” Isn’t that the kind of compliment that you would want to receive one day? And isn’t “Dave’s” openness and vulnerability a beautiful and God-honoring example of the only way…

One of my dearest friends in the whole world is suffering terribly right now. – Someone is treating her CRUELLY. – The same person is treating someone she LOVES cruelly. – It’s breaking her heart; bringing out righteous anger (and probably some sinful anger too); and mostly just burdening her from the moment she wakes up until she (fitfully) sleeps again at night. My reaction is incredibly mixed-up. (Just like me.) Of course I want to MAKE THIS PERSON STOP HURTING MY FRIEND!!!!!!!! (But I can’t.) Of course I want to protect her and shield her and throw my body in front of the bullet of meanness that is ripping…