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“Men are afraid of women …”
Reading my denomination’s magazine (By Faith), I was struck to the heart and literally brought to tears. And prayer. The last article was on the relationships between ordained men in the church and women in the church. There were many wonderful, gospel-saturated aspects to those important relationships. But two quotes broke my heart (especially, I am sure, because I have seen over and over again–across the nation–how true they can be): – “Men are afraid of women. We’re often content to be at arms’ length from them.” – “Some women mistrust the men ordained in leadership over them.” Both statements reminded me of 1 John 4:18: Where there is fear,…
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From Shame to Shalom
Excerpts from Chapter 10 of Peacemaking Women, “SHAME“ When a woman is filled with ungodly shame, her response to her own sin or fallenness is to say, ‘Something is wrong with me and I need to work harder to make this right.’ Ungodly shame is a self-indictment that overrides the truth of the gospel that Jesus Christ loves me and in him I am accepted. Another way to think about godly shame and ungodly shame is to note that while godly shame may have a component of legitimate and appropriate guilt (‘I did wrong’), ungodly shame condemningly says, ‘I am wrong.’ Sadly, ungodly shame directs people away from God and…
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Tara — You told me I was nowhere near done reconciling.
I recently received an encouraging note from a real-life friend from grad school. She references a telephone conversation we had years ago, but most of you will, I’m sure, recognize in her story that ALL I did was share with her the exact same love and counsel that a friend had shared with me years ago. Plus, ironically, even though she credits me with this conversation (so apparently I did have it with her), I was actually really REALLY convicted when I read what she wrote! I’m a little lacking in the love department for certain people these days. Oh, I can try to justify it all I want.…
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Why was I so afraid? I had forgotten about the overlapping spheres of Authority, Power, and Responsibility
The other day, I was extremely anxious about a certain meeting I had to have. It was strange to feel so anxious, because the meeting was really about something fun and relaxing. And yet, I was obviously stressed—more and more stressed as the meeting time approached. And so I prayed. I journaled. And I called a friend. Her patient listening, insightful questions, and wise counsel were just what I needed to see more clearly what was really going on in the depths of my soul: I was keenly aware that this person was involved in a number of conflicts and stressful situations that were hurting people I care about. Honestly? I knew…
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Counsel to Myself from 11 Years Ago
In cleaning out my office yesterday, I came across my very old pack of Bible memory cards. I used to go through them every day (until I had the verses memorized) and I would also review various sermon illustrations, teachings I received from friends and spiritual mothers, people and ministries for intercessory prayer, and the (many!) things I needed to repent of. A lot. It’s embarrassing to see how far I still have to go re: these important areas of my life. But it’s also sweet, too, to see God’s grace at work in my life and His kindness and care for me, even while I am still so very…
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Loving Confrontation Will Not Ultimately Harm Us (Even if It Hurts)
Talking with someone about an apparent sin or temptation has to be one of the most difficult things to do in all of life. Yesterday, my five year-old brought some excellent questions about why Galatians 6:1 “rescue” and Matthew 7 “helping someone with the speck in their eye” are not the same thing as being the “proud, super-holy, Pharisee people” (in Luke 7) who judged the woman who was wiping Jesus’ feet with her tears and her hair: “Aren’t we JUDGING and thinking we are BETTER when we talk with people about this hard stuff?” she asked me, so sincerely. What a good question! And what a loooooooong conversation we had to…
