We must learn to take ourselves in hand …
My good friend is helping me (a lot!) by “making me” re-read through the great D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones book, “Spiritual Depression.”
Oh! How accurately this dear pastor describes my tendencies:
– Prone to melancholy
– Sometimes drawn, haggard, vexed, troubled
– Overly introverted and introspective
– At times, weeping and tearful because I am in a state of perplexity and fear
– Overly analyzing myself and everything I do and worrying about the possible effects of my actions; always harking back; always full of vain regrets
– Too centered on myself (as evidenced by my propensity to talk too much about myself and my problems/troubles; forever going around with a frown on my face as I recount the great difficulty I am in)
And yet. And yet. Even all of THAT–while it surely makes me a “poor recommendation for the Christian faith”, it does NOT mean that I am not a Christian, “but it does mean that [we] are missing a great deal, missing so much that it is important that we should inquire into the whole condition of spiritual depression …”
(BTW … If you or someone you know is struggling–I encourage you to pick up this great book (and/or
Ed Welch’s wonderful book on Depression). These two are my favorites and the ones I recommend over and over again at women’s events.)
Back to Dr. Jones … it’s a 300 page book, so please don’t think this is all there is (!), but I wanted to encourage you as I have been encouraged. Here are a few quotes and paraphrases … please, anything worth keeping is fully attributable to Dr. Jones and the rest is Tara’s processing/commentary in her own life:
– That temperament does not make any difference in the matter of our fundamental salvation … but it DOES make a very great different in the actual experience of the Christian life
– We must know ourselves and our temperament so that we can be aware of our propensities (take care in regards to both your strengths AND your weaknesses); keep your temperament where it should be kept
– We cannot undo what we has been done–so it is futile (and exhausting!) to spend inordinate amounts of time analyzing and judging and BLAMING ourselves (this just makes us MORBID!)
– Don’t ignore the physical/chemical components that could be at play. (But don’t look for a “pill” to fix your unbelief, habitual sins, wrong thinking, dishonoring-of-God-actions!)
Because the bottomline on all of this?
We must take ourselves in hand and talk TO ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us!
Most of our unhappiness in life is due to the fact that we are listening to ourselves instead of talking to ourselves. Grace calls us to DO something regarding our situation, our temperament, our struggles. To run to Christ, lay hold of Christ with saving faith, and to SPEAK TRUTH, biblical truth, to the lies and thoughts and struggles that rattle around inside of us.
You wake up in the morning and the first thought you have is of your FAILURES?! The problems of yesterday? Your horrible inadequacies? The drag that your life has become?
Someone is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you.
RESIST! RESPOND! Rather than allow this self to talk to you, YOU start talking to YOURSELF. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. Your soul has been depressing you? Crushing you? So you stand up and say, “SELF! Listen for a moment! I will speak to you.”
Because the main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself.
Take yourself in hand.
Address yourself.
Preach to yourself.
Question yourself.
You must turn on yourself,
Upbraid yourself,
Condemn yourself,
Exhort yourself,
and say to yourself, “HOPE THOU IN GOD!”
(Instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way.)
And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do.
THEN … defy yourself. Defy other people. Defy the devil. Defy the whole world and say with the Psalmist, “I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God!”