- Fear Not!, Hope in Suffering, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Apart from a miracle, a good relationship with this person is probably never going to happen. That’s OK. Grieve it. And LET. IT. GO.
I once received an email from a good friend (let’s call her “Mary”), who wanted to know if I had any ideas for how she could minister to someone in her workplace (a Christian parachurch ministry) who was suffering greatly because of a difficult relationship with her parents. Apparently, this coworker was “terrified” of this relationship (to use her own words); she was “distraught” and “destroyed” over how they treated her. Knowing that some of us have similar difficult relationships in our lives, I thought I would redact the identifying information and share some of my response with you. I hope it is a blessing to you! Sending my love—…
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When Peacemaking Causes Conflict
Have you ever tried to “fix” a relationship and “make peace” only to have it backfire in your face in such a terrible way that you really wish you had just left things alone? I have. There is just something so much easier (on the surface at least) and “nicer” about peace-faking. Sure, when we focus on protecting ourselves by denying that conflict exists or pretending that everything is fine—pasting a smile on our face while slamming shut the door of our heart—we know on a deep level that we are not loving because “love makes us vulnerable” (CS Lewis). But the pain of rejection and betrayal from people we…
- Child Protection / Abuse in the Church, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Peace Amidst Holiday Strife, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Family Holidays with Drunks, Addicts, and People Who Do Not Like You
It wasn’t until God saved me as a teenager and I began to be invited into people’s homes and holiday celebrations that I learned first-hand that sometimes, families really liked to gather with one another at the holidays and that sometimes, decorations were lovely; music was redemptive; and food was delicious. (I had read about such things in books as a child, but never had the reality of the experience myself.) My childhood holidays were different. I remember a lot of drunken yelling and slamming of doors and then sitting at an over-done formal table, plastering a smile on for the Polaroid to show how “happy” and “normal” we were. Then everyone scattering…
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Pursuing Peace with Our Parents–Hope for This Mother’s Day (and Every Day)
Happy Mother’s Day! We’re about to head off to church … but I thought you might enjoy reading the article that I recently had published in the Peacemaker Ministries eMagazine (eNews @ Peacemaker Ministries). Hope it blesses you! And that you enjoy a wonderful Sabbath day of worship and rest. Yours, Tara B. Pursuing Peace with Our Parents–Hope for This Mother’s Day (and Every Day) Does Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day) fill you with gratitude for the loving, faithful, and godly parents you have? Praise the Lord! The blessing of true Christian fellowship with our parents cannot be overstated (or over-celebrated). But for many of us, relationships with our parents…
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BEYOND what depends on me?
I’m sure you’re familiar with Romans 12:18: “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” It’s been ringing (screaming?) in my ears and heart all day. Why? Because I have two horribly broken relationships in my life and the weight of my sadness concerning them is simply crushing. (Conflict is miserable! And I’m the first one to admit it.) In the one relationship, it’s perfectly clear what has brought 99.9999999% of our downfall … I’ve just blown it. I’ve messed up in epic proportions. Ironically, I have actually tried incredibly hard to bless this person … but instead, I have messed up and wronged her and…
