considerable grace

Yes, yes. Kevin DeYoung is really gaining on Ed Welch as my favorite contemporary author.

Read his post from today (written in the voice of a C.S. Lewis letter to Wormwood) and you’ll see why:

A Lost Letter to Wormwood

Here is just a snippet to tempt you:

"Your subject is now enrolled in what the earth world calls “college.” I do not need to remind you what splendid opportunities these places afford us. But there is one particular danger, and you must see to it that it is avoided at all costs. And that danger is church attendance.

Though your subject seems safe from the clutches of our Enemy Above, you will recall that he has spent the majority of his Sundays, thus far, in church. The habit may not be easy to break. If he tries church for a few weeks, make sure it is a pointless endeavor. Do not forget our little rhyme: “If to church one must go, lead him to an empty show. And when all we can do is mettle, makes sure on one church he does not settle.”

Church attendance is bad enough, nephew, but consistent attendance at the same church spells almost certain doom for our cause. If your human persists in his church interest, you simply must devise some way to shuffle him around from congregation to congregation. See to it he never knows the people he is worshiping with. Keep reminding him of how rotten the music is over here, and how long the sermon is over there, and how bland the coffee is at that other church. Trust me, it won’t take much to get him floundering on church. Almost any excuse will do ..."

SHIVER! This is just WAY too important a topic and WAY too accurate a portrayal of our “higher learning” institutions for me to do anything other than CRINGE and PRAY for the many college and grad school students in my life—and for their Christian professors and the churches near their campuses too.

I simply cannot imagine where I would be in life had God not graciously rooted me in one church during my undergraduate years in Moline, Illinois and one church during my graduate studies in Champaign-Urbana. How skewed and squishy my theology would have become were it not for great men like Vic Varkonyi, Paul Jensen, Bill Meier, and John Roeckeman. How duplicitous and immature I would have remained were it not for great women like June Kalemkarian, Cindy Lambrecht, Kim Mills, and Dixie Zietlow. I needed the counsel and oversight of deacons and elders then, and I need the counsel and oversight of deacons and elders now. I needed the encouragement, care, and accountability of authentic relationships then, and I need the encouragement, care, and accountability of authentic relationships now.

And so do our college students! As Pastor DeYoung says earlier in his post:

"Churchless Christians are on their way to being no Christian at all."

Please do encourage your college students to PLUG IN and COMMIT to one local church as they transition to this exciting new season of life. Don’t let them believe the fallacy that a parachurch student group, as great as it is, can ever be a church.

Send them ongoing, scholarly helps to remind them that smart people believe the Bible (contrary to what most of their professors will say) — I started reading Imprimis as an undergraduate student and I’ve read it ever since.

If they can persevere through meaty prose, I strongly urge them to read anything by Phillip E. Johnson. But if that bogs them down too much, then of course anything by C.S. Lewis will surely be edifying and accessible.

I also began to study systematic theology and philosophy as a college student and both were SO engaging and SO exciting to me that, because I had wise and godly teachers in my church, I was equipped to stand against the blatant naturalism and post-modern relativism that filled almost all of my academic classes.

How grateful I am for the protection, nourishment, accountability, equipping, and opportunities to serve in the local church! And how I pray that our college students will benefit from (and take seriously their commitments to) membership in the local church too.

And with that, I’m off into my day—

Blessed Wednesday to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
Pastor DeYoung has a final installation of this letter here.

HeadHeartAndHand has an important (but a little scary!) post up that I hope you will read and encourage your pastors to read too:

Pastors—Please Take a Break!

Listen to just one tiny excerpt:

"Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could ... So reports the New York Times. The stats are scary ... Compared with neighbors in their census tracts, the ministers reported significantly higher rates of arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma. Obesity was 10 percent more prevalent in the clergy group ... "

Oh no! This is not the way it’s supposed to be.

And I’m wondering ... what can I do, what can our family do, what can I encourage the members of my church to do ... to bless, build up, encourage, protect, double-honor, esteem, build up our hard-working, extraordinarily gifted, devoted, loving, giving pastors? (And their families!)

I hope you and yours will consider doing the same—

Praying for our church leaders,
Tara B.

PS
After I initially put this post up, I thought to myself, “Didn’t Pastor Mark Driscoll have a great teaching on this topic? I wonder if I could find it ...” So I did a Google search and guess what was on the first Google Hit Page? This little corner of the world Barthel family blog. Funny, huh?

ANYWAY ... some great GREAT stuff from Pastor Mark Driscoll here on pastor burnout/stress:

Death by Ministry

SGM is spot on in this post (referencing Kevin DeYoung):

Plodding Visionaries and the Church

Consider just a snippet:

"It is easy to blast the church for all her failures. It is harder to live in the church day after day, year after year, with all of the ho hum, hum drum, and to slowly and consistently make a difference.

What we need are fewer revolutionaries and a few more plodding visionaries. We need to ask the right questions, we need to have the right expectations, and we need to establish the right vision ...

If you are a visionary, you don’t have your head in the sand. You are going somewhere. You are looking out. You are moving in a direction. But you are a plodder. One foot in front of the other ...

When I wrote the book on the church I read nine books that called for a revolution. Every other day it seems like I read of a new manifesto. We may need to just simplify a little: Get on the right road and keep going.

Our generation in particular is prone to radicalism without follow-through. We want to change the world and we have never changed a diaper. You want to make a difference for Christ? Here is where you can start: this Sunday, volunteer for the nursery. Say, “Here I am, pastor. What can I do to serve?"

Amen!

And happy (blessed! hessed!) Sunday to you—

Yours,
Tara B.

Kevin DeYoung has a great post today on preaching the whole counsel of Scripture by being mindful of the variances of people in your church:

Preaching to the Whole Choir

In it, he talks about four categories of people: “The Weary, The Wandering, The Lazy, The Lost.”

As I read it, I appreciated its (intended) application of pastors and sermons. But I also couldn’t help but think of its application even as a layperson:

- What happens when I am overly confrontational with someone who is weary, wounded, fearful, hurt? I crush the bruised reed. But what if I fail to have the courage to be confrontational with a Christian playing with sin ("The Wandering") or CAUGHT in sin? I watch my brother drown (Gal. 6:1).

- Do I ever actually make a direct, gospel, “evangelistic” appeal to ANYONE? Or am I just super NICE to “The Lost”?

- What is the word I bring to “The Lazy”? (As a lazy person!) What is my tone like? My attitude?

Oh. I just found so much to think about in his post. I hope you’ll click on over and read it yourself.

Blessings,
Tara B.

"Telling people that being part of the local church is optional for the health of the Christian, is like telling a married couple they can replace living together with being friends on Facebook to grow closer and become One as God intends." Carlos Griego (HT: TakeYourVitaminZ)

I have a friend who is, well, just a solid gold gift of wonderfulness. She is! Even Fred said to me last night, “People have no idea what a gift our church has in (well, let’s call her) Mary.” ("Mary" would be quite embarrassed if she read her own name in this blog.)

Mary is one of those wise, gentle, funny, insightful, smart, godly, Christ-centered, careful-thinkers and careful-speakers that MAN! We really need in our churches.

Mary is also very quiet, single, works an incredibly important and intense job, and doesn’t get too involved in “stuff” at the church. (Even though she is devoted to the church and serves and supports in many hidden ways.)

Anyway ... earlier this week we had a fun (and intense and hard in some ways—b/c of stuff going on in our mutual lives that we were sharing about and praying about) lunch together and I said something like this to her:

"Mary? We need you. You are a Titus 2 older woman and we need more of you."

You see, we’ve been talking for a long time about how God has been pressing on her to possibly make some major changes in her life to be more available to serve in the church. And during this meal, I was so convicted yet again that absolutely ANYTHING she would get involved in would be BETTER simply for her prayerful, wise, steady, kind, faithful presence.

(She really is solid gold.)

Anyway—I was thinking about this friend when I read Kevin DeYoung’s list on “How to Be a Difference Maker in Your Church” over at PureChurch so I thought I’d share not only the list, but my little back-story too:

• Find a good local church.
• Get involved.
• Become a member.
• Stay there as long as you can.
• Put away thoughts of a revolution for a while.
• Join the plodding visionaries.
• Go to church this Sunday and worship in Spirit and truth.
• Be patient with your leaders.
• Rejoice when the gospel is faithfully proclaimed.
• Bear with those who hurt you.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt.
• Say “hi” to the teenager that no one notices.
• Welcome the old ladies with the blue hair and the young men with tattoos.
• Volunteer for the nursery.
• Attend the congregational meeting.
• Bring your fried chicken to the potluck like everybody else.
• Invite a friend.
• Take a new couple out for coffee.
• Give to the Christmas offering.
• Sing like you mean it.
• Be thankful someone vacuumed the carpet for you.
• Enjoy the Sundays that “click.”
• Pray extra hard on the Sundays that don’t.
• And in all of this, do not despise the days and weeks and years of small things (Zechariah 4:8–10).

Good advice! Some of it extra hard for those of us whose personalities tend to be introverted—so we thus need to be extra-intentional to build relationships. Some of it SO counter-cultural to the (WRONG!) message “out there” in Christendom that church is all about US and our likes/needs/interests. All of it worth thinking about, or at least it seems so to me.

Must run to a doc appt. now, so I’ll close with this ...

Yesterday, Sophie and I started Children’s Stories by J.C. Ryle and even though we’re only a little bit into it, Soph’s immediate response to the first story was, “Can we read another please Mom?!?!” And it prompted discussions throughout the day AND she was able not only to explain the Bible passage to Fred over dinner later that night, but she remembered his “main points” too. So I encourage you to check it out if you like to read “deep” stuff to your little kids.

(Oh MY! That first story was DEEP. I pre-screened it and thought, “Hmmmmm. Really? Well. Yeah. OK. Pastor Alfred used this passage once to show us how you can preach Christ in any and every passage of Scripture—even the one where Elisha curses the children and she-bears eat 42 of them. So let’s see how this goes.” And it was worth the read. I will mention that, in our family, we often substitute the word “godly” when the author uses “good” because, as Sophie would explain to you, that’s actually what the authors were pointing to—"good" in that “putting my faith in Christ and living according to His Spirit” way not “I’m a good person” like people talk today.)

Off into my day now!

Hope yours is a blessed one.

Clinging to Christ (Who, thankfully, has me firmly in His grip),
Tara B.

PS
Would you please say a prayer for wisdom for me re: this event invitation to teach in Germany next Spring? What an honor! But our finances seem to keep getting tighter and tighter and we’re just not sure I can accept it. (No honorarium, only expenses covered, a LONG time away from family.) Still, my sister and her Fred have shown an interest in possibly coming over with me in order to take SOPHIA on a little three or four day European adventure while I serve at the event. And since Soph has completed her first two years of ancient history and this year we move into Middle Ages, Renaissance and the Reformation, plus she’s starting Latin and crankin’ her French up a notch ... a few days in Europe could be very motivational for our school year (and super fun of course). And we might get to see Uncle Tom (Fred’s brother) and his workplace at the Zurich Operhaus.

But to make all of that happen, even though my sister would cover all of Sophie’s expenses once we were in Europe, our family would have to come up with the miles or cash to buy her ticket and, simply stated, that is an “impossibility” on paper. But we sort of live an “impossible” life in many regards ... so we’re praying about it. And I’d appreciate your prayers and any counsel you care to share too. Thanks, friends! Happy Thursday—t

My denomination (the Presbyterian Church in America) recently had their General Assembly. I was praying for everyone involved, but as usual, I had a special burden for the ordained leaders who would be discussing, praying, and voting on important church governance issues. I have this same burden each time our elders gather to pray for our church (weekly), hold regularly scheduled session meetings (monthly), participate in Presbytery meetings (bi-annually), and set aside their own comforts to do the hard work of shepherd-overseers (so often and so intensely that I can’t even begin to imagine the quantity).

Our leaders are imperfect, but they take their duties seriously. Fred and I willingly, happily, and gratefully put ourselves (and our children) under their ecclesiastical authority because we believe it is biblical and wise to do so.

One of the reasons we can have such confidence is because our elders mutually submit to one another. And thus, we are never under the authority of one man, but rather, the authority of our session (which is under the authority of our Presbytery which is under the authority of our General Session). It’s like Fred said to a friend of ours who was considering marrying a man and was seeking our counsel about the match:

"I just don’t see evidences that he submits to anyone—not a church, not his bosses at work, not even how he speaks of his parents. My concern is that he will not be able to lead you well because he does not know how to submit."

(And, sadly, his concerns have turned about to be well-warranted.)

Why is this the case? Well, it seems to me that levels of authority provide a course of appeal that provides a certain degree of protection. Yes, this “system” is imperfect because leaders are people and people are imperfect. (Trust me. I know this personally and as a Christian mediator, I have interacted with enough of you to know this is true.)

But still. I thank God for authority and I thank God for the orderliness of my church and denomination’s governance. I do! I rejoice in it. I am grateful for it. I really do enjoy reading the Book of Church Order. I took the time to actually read the 2010 PCA Strategic Plan that came out of the General Assembly (and I thanked God for it and for the roadmap that came along with it helping me to read it).

I read something like this:



(From the 1852 publication, “The Keyes of the Kingdom of Heaven, Power thereof, according to the VVord of God by that learned and judicious divine, Mr. Iohn Cotton, Teacher of the Church at Boston, in New-England, tending to reconcile some present differences about DISCIPLINE”. You can read the entire document here if you are so inclined.)

And I cheer for the “divers hands” that watch over my doctrine and life together so that I am never expected to or asked (or required!) to “commit my entire and sole trust to any one man (though never so able)”. Hooray! What a gift of grace to have shepherd-overseers over me! And what a gift of grace that I can have confidence in their leadership and not fear being in submission under them because they move as a group. Thus, they help one another with their weaknesses. (Because leaders are growing in grace too.)

These were the thoughts jiggling around in my brain as I awoke this morning. (I am a seriously strange bird, aren’t I?) And thus, they are the thoughts you stalwart readers of this blog get to read this morning too. (Still can’t believe so many of you keep coming back.)

To my non-Presbyterian buds, THANKS in advance for indulging me this post. For my PCA-buds, I hope you’ll take the time to at least read the Strategic Plan—or watch Dr. Chapell’s videos explaining the plan. As members, you are office-holders—the office of a member has vows and duties too. Plus, I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s exciting to be reminded of how great and glorious God is! And how diverse and interesting His Church is. And to get to be a part of it all? Well. What an honor and what a joy.

Hope you have a blessed Wednesday!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Practical Shepherding has a great post that I encourage you to read:

What is one of the best ways for a pastor to gain evagelistic opportunities?

(If you read the comments, you’ll see in my comment why this post was particularly meaningful to me.)

One of the heroes of my faith is preachin' it in this interview over at byFaith:

Our Biggest Threat is Shallow Relationships: Our Conversation with Ligon Duncan

So many great points, but listen to just a few:

"The PCA’s polity, history, and present practice allow us to be independent of one another. “We can admit people into our presbyteries,” Duncan says, “but we never have to cooperate with them; we never have to work shoulder-to-shoulder with them.” As a result there’s no cause to think about other churches and pastors until we become suspicious of their opinions or their approach to ministry.

A second factor, Duncan says, is that, “We don’t realize how hard it is to cultivate unity.” We work hard at doctrinal fidelity and missional focus. But not at cultivating unity. Unity doesn’t just happen, Duncan says. It has to be intentionally nurtured. “And that’s something the PCA has lacked.”

There are, Duncan believes, signs of encouragement. “I see more of a concern for unity than I’ve seen in the last 15 to 20 years,” he told byFaith. But unity requires a personal investment. You’ve got to get to know people, and there’s not time for that, he said. But, “I’ve found that it’s hard to think the worst of somebody you like.” We need to know one another, Duncan believes. “Then we’d like one another, and I think even our disagreements would be more profitable.” We’d engage the tough issues “in an iron-sharpening-iron way …” rather than slinging mud.

More people in the PCA, especially teaching elders and ruling elders, must cultivate unity the same way they cultivate doctrinal fidelity. Otherwise, Ligon Duncan believes, we’re going to have trouble with every difficult issue."

I only wish he had mentioned The Biblical Conflict Resolution Appendix to the PCA Book of Church Order (Appendix I on page 223). It seems like it would’ve been a perfect fit for his (excellent!) article.

Continuing to pray for everyone at General Assembly this week—

Yours,
Tara B.

Hooray for this GREAT post from Pastor Anyabwile:

Preventing Church Splits

It is so good. Truly. And it’s about far more than “just” preventing church splits—it’s really about all of the “one anothering” commands of Scripture. (Love one another. Serve one another. Pray for one another. Forgive one another. Bear one another’s burdens, etc.)

If you love the Church and would like to know how to love your local church better, take a few moments to read this. And then? Print it out (or give yourself a task and archive it electronically ) and spend some TIME with it in the coming weeks. It’s that good.

Let me share just a few of Pastor Anyabwile’s spot-on insights:

"Every church split, by definition, involves people who are alienated in their affections toward one another. The splits occur when this alienation is hardened and seemingly intractable. But the roots of the split extend back to that time when everyone seemed to be getting along (meaning there were no obvious conflicts) but really didn’t know one another. That period is the calm before the storm. Introduce an offense, teach something that crosses someone’s pet sin or tender spot, and what appeared to be placid water begins to foam and roil until a major storm approaches the shores of the church.

As pastors I think it’s our duty to act while things are calm, to take a preventative step before these conditions for a split are aggravated. And, so far, I think one of the best antidotes to a split are wide, healthy, and spiritually encouraging relationships in the body ...

- Hospitality: We must relinquish our passive approach to friendships. That’s the bottom line. We’re too passive in cultivating meaningful affection for one another. We wait for the relationship to come to us ... We must teach our people to open up their lives by opening up their calendars and their homes. If our churches are going to be healthy enough to survive difficulties, then our people must have enough credit with one another—drawn from the tenderness of sharing meals and meaningful conversation—to trust and assume the best. We must know one another broadly enough and deeply enough to know when someone else’s apparent anger is really deep hurt, or when someone’s resistance is masking pride, or when a brother’s disappearance from the fellowship is likely a sign of trouble with sin. And we can’t see beneath the apparent in one another’s lives if we don’t actually cultivate friendships with others ...

- Discipleship: If hospitality builds wide relationships, then discipleship builds deeper ones. It’s how we teach one another to obey all Jesus’ commands and follow His ways (Matt. 28:19-20). Given that, is it too much to expect that every member of the church has at least two intentional, spiritually-focused relationships in the church… a relationship with someone more mature that is building into their lives and a relationship with someone as or less mature into whom they are building? ...

- Modeling: It’s no accident that the Lord of the church includes “hospitable” among the qualifications for church leadership (1 Tim. 3). Why? Well, not simply because “hospitable” is another way of saying “he’s a nice guy” or “he’s friendly.” Hospitable includes an active disposition to serve others by engaging and entertaining them. It is being generous with your self, giving yourself away to others. That tends to directly oppose the slow decay and passive approach to relationships in the church. It’s vital that we leaders model healthy relationships in the body. We must do that with fellow leaders, and we must do that with members in the body ...

- Sentinels and Watchmen: There are those of us who have been called to be watchmen upon the wall, and there are those among us who like sentinels are scouting the area for trouble and opportunity. We must be faithful in reporting and responding to what we see and what we find. What do I mean? Take elders and deacons, for example. As leaders in the body, serving as “shock absorbers” is one part of our responsibility ... When a disgruntled parent in the nursery, or a member offended at a sermon, or disaffection in the ranks is first observed, do we as elders and leaders absorb that shock or do we multiply it? Do we understand that we have an opportunity to diffuse a situation before it multiplies? ... Our job is to absorb these minor shocks to the body like a black hole, to submerge them into the deep void of forgiveness, and to work to make sure the complaint is heard, addressed appropriately (which could range from resolving a real problem to rebuking a sinning sibling), and stopped with us.

At her core, the church is a mass of spiritual relationships—individuals to the Lord and to one another, forming something more than the sum of her parts, forming a body. Lose these relationships and we unravel the church."

Preach it, Pastor Anyabwile!
(And thanks for living it too.)

MAN. I just love churchmen. (And yes, laypeople can be churchmen too because the definition means “an adherent or active supporter of the church.”)

Blessings to you on this lovely Wednesday—

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
One parting thought ... What steps are we taking today to open (hospitably) our calendar and our home to authentic relationships—and thus, help to prevent church splits?

PPS
OK. One more “one parting thought” ... Is ecclesiology (irony alert) missing from your church? If you have no idea what I even mean, or if such a thought concerns you about all churches, you might enjoy this post from Pastor Anyabwile on POLITY.

TakeYourVitaminZ linked to a snippet of a Mark Driscoll sermon that is worth your time:



In it, he talks about why the church doesn’t feel like family.

I want to think about many of the things he mentioned. But here are just a few that really resonated with me:

Think back on the most endearing, most meaningful, long-lasting relationships in your life. Isn’t it true that you weren’t a consumer in those relationships—that, instead, you SERVED?

Consider the difference between a business and a family.

In a restaurant? You eat the meal, (maybe demonstrate a little gratitude), and leave.

In a family? You eat the meal, demonstrate gratitude, and then WORK—clear the dishes, scrape the plate, load the dishwasher, wipe down the table.

At a business? You think, “Those drapes are old and faded. The chair is wobbly. Someone should fix that.”

In a family? You budget, change your behavior, sacrifice to be able to buy the new chair or make the new drapes; you work; you get involved; you serve ... you help to fix it.

Could it be that you just don’t FEEL like your church is FAMILY because you’re treating church like a consumer treats a business? ("I don’t like this music." “It’s too cold.” "It’s too hot." “Why don’t they offer more activities for the kids?”)

What if, instead, you treated your church like the family that it actually IS? Never giving up on one another. Sharing the load. Getting to work. Serving. Protecting. Helping. Cherishing.

Much to think about ...

Challies.com linked to a very brief article that is worth your time:

Mishandling Twentysomethings (by Anthony Bradley)

Let me tempt you with just a snippet:

"Most churches have no idea what to do with spiritually mature men in their 20s, so they wrongly direct them to seminary or to a ministry with kids, hoping these guys will rub off on the youth and keep them coming to church and out of trouble. The consequences of this mishandling have been dire ...

I am pained, for example, by the number of guys directed to seminary or formal ministry who never should have been because church communities were confused about what is normal for men in the church ...

This trend actually reveals the sad state of an American evangelical gynocentric church: Spiritually interested young men are the exception rather than the expectation. These men tend to stand out because their twentysomething men peers are generally absent in most churches and many of the others present are going through religious motions, attending because of parental legalism, or because of girlfriend or wife pressure ...

Whatever the reason, it would be great to see local churches so healthy and full of twentysomethings that the presence of spiritually vibrant twentysomething men would be so normal that we would have better criteria for sending men into ministry beyond being “on fire for Christ” and having a desire to teach and serve. That should be simply normal for any man following Jesus."

Oh! I think it’s time to re-read Lane & Tripp’s, How People Change, because I was so helped and encouraged (and challenged!) just by reading my NOTES from this great book.

Let me share a few snippets from my notes with you:

God’s call to growth and change: It is so easy to coast. God calls us to change. We have been changed by his grace, are being changed by his grace, and will be changed by his grace. The goal? Free us from our slavery to sin, our bondage to self, and our functional idolatry, so that we actually take on his character.

Though we are made in God’s image, we are deeply flawed and bent towards loving ourselves above all. Self-love creates guilt and shame because we know we don’t measure up. We feel small because we are small; but the cross of Christ shows me how glorious, merciful, and forgiving God is and how great his love is for me in Christ. I AM CALLED TO ESTEEM GOD, NOT MYSELF.

We need to see:
- How great God’s love is for us in Christ
- How often our infatuation for other things replaces God’s love in our lives

“When it seems that you are in a losing battle with sin, you can say, I have hope for victory because Christ is working in me right now to complete what he has begun.”

Life is seldom simple. Growth in God’s grace is a process and not an event. The Bible is honest in its description of how grave and comprehensive our war with sin is.

Be encouraged! Be full of hope even while don’t fully understand—WE DON’T HAVE TO FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT. We DO have to know and trust the One who does understand and who knows exactly what he is doing.

GOD’S DREAM FOR US WILL COME TRUE.

Destination in view: REDEMPTION.
We’re in the middle; we know the end. So we have hope.

Everything God does and everything God calls us to only make sense from the perspective of eternity.

GRACE IS A PROCESS! “The sturdy strongholds of sin don’t come down in a moment.”

CHANGE does NOT revolve around a system of redemption but around a person who redeems. We are called to focus on Christ our Redeemer. Christ is our hope. He links the forgiveness of the past to the growth of the present to the hope of the future. Hope for the present is rooted in the hope of eternity. It rests on HIM.

“You need to make your final destination the lens you use to evaluate your life.”

Life is sloppy, hard, messy, shameful, and boring. Often out of our control; good things go bad; bad things seduce us. People leave us hurt and disappointed. Change is OFTEN MUCH, MUCH slower than we want it to be.

God’s Word is full of powerful life principles, but applying them to life is not always an easy task.

We encounter the same problems again and again. It is easy to believe that we are powerless to change and that all our effort is meaningless.

The gospel calls us to look at the messiness of life in a radically different way.
There are no completely hopeless situations.
Because of Christ, we can have HOPEFUL REALISM.

Your destination is secure.
The loss of [XYZ] would be hard. But you CANNOT lose your identity in Christ.
You CANNOT lose his love and grace. Forgiveness. Your place in Heaven.

Take an honest look at all earthly life through heaven’s lens.

“Everything you do will be shaped by the degree to which you act on the blessings that are yours in Christ.”

This change is NOT simply the product of good theology and disciplined obedience. It is the result of our relationship to Christ. Because I am united to him, I am renewed daily by his Spirit. The evil in my heart is progressively replaced with a growing ability to love, worship, and rejoice.

With joy I affirm that I AM a new creation in Christ.
With humility, I confess that sin is still in my heart and I need God’s grace today as much as I did when I first believed.
The Spirit overpowers the things that once dominated my life.
I am in him, though not yet completely like him, so I commit myself to the ongoing heart change that is God’s loving focus.

Change happens within community.
The context for change is the Church.

Yesterday’s sermon-while-walking-Lilikoi was fantastic! If you’d like to understand better what it means to (and doesn’t mean) to turn the other cheek; why it can be just as UNLOVING to NOT confront someone as it is to confront them gracelessly and harshly; and many other important topics related to community, I encourage you to check this out:

The Community of Jesus (by Tim Keller)

Quoting from Stop Dating the Church (by Joshua Harris):

“To be part of the universal church isn’t enough … Every Christian is called to be passionately committed to a specific local church. Why? Because the local church is the key to spiritual health and growth for a Christian. And because as the visible “body of Christ” in the world, the local church is central to God’s plan for every generation.”

(Quoting Mark Dever from a talk he frequently gives on college campuses about the local church ...)

“If you are not a member of the church you regularly attend, you may well be going to hell.”

“… in the New Testament it seems that the local church is there to verify or falsify our claims to be Christians. The man in 1 Corinthians 5 who was sleeping with his father’s wife thought of himself as a Christian.”

(Giving various examples, including a church choir director having affair with the lead soprano; a member of the worship team who owns a porn bookstore ... ) “These are examples of people who need to have the gospel clarified for them. They need to be told that they can’t claim to have saving faith and continue to walk in darkness (see 1 John 1:5-10). Our assurance of salvation must include a changed life. Confidence that we’ve truly been saved shouldn’t rest on an emotional experience or a prayer we prayed during an altar call years ago."

(Again quoting Mark Dever)

“I don’t care how much you cry during singing or preaching,” Mark Dever states. “If you do not live a life marked by love toward others, the Bible has no encouragement for you to think that you’re a Christian. None.”

“In 1 Peter 2 we’re told to make our calling and election sure. How do you do this? One of the most practical steps we can take is to join a local church. The fact is that you might be someone who needs to have the gospel and its implications clarified in your life. That’s why you need the faithful teaching of God’s Word by pastors. You need the protection and godly provocation of having other Christians who are willing to challenge sin in your life.

And you need other Christians whom you can love. The book of 1 John was written to help people identify the evidence of true salvation in their lives. Do you know one of the primary signs we’re told to look for? Genuine love for others (see 1 John 2:9-10)."

“Do you want to know that your new life is real?” asks Mark Dever. “Commit yourself to a local group of saved sinners. Try to love them. Don’t just do it for three weeks. Don’t just do it for six months. Do it for years. And I think you’ll find out, and others will, too, whether or not you love God. The truth will show itself.”

(Responding to a young Christian who wanted to go on a private “journey” to have some spiritual experience—"just him & Jesus" ...)

“Going away is easy. Do you want to know what is harder? Do you want to know what takes more courage and what will make you grow faster than anything else? Join a local church and lay down your selfish desires by considering others more important than yourself. Humble yourself and acknowledge that you need other Christians. Invite them into your life. Stop complaining about what’s wrong with the church, and become part of a solution.”

I would so appreciate your prayers today as I am officially one month behind my writing goals for Dave Edling’s and my book ("Redeeming Church Conflicts—Biblical Hope When Your Church is Falling Apart").

Dave has been exceedingly gracious and patient. He knows that my “real job” as wife Tara and Momma Tara is a busy and hard (and important!) one. Still ... I need to get our book proposal done. So that’s my prayer request. Would you please pray that at the end of the day today, I can send him a draft of our entire proposal?

I’ve made huge progress on it and if I’m diligent (and God gives much grace!), it’s a doable goal.

Thanks, friends.

Oh—and BTW—I haven’t given away any FREE STUFF in awhile. Don’t you think it’s time? I wonder what cool new Peacemaker Ministries Resource or Tara Barthel Resource might be a fun one for you. Drop me an email or leave a comment if you have any ideas. Otherwise, I’m thinking about giving away Ed Welch’s “Running Scared” because we’re starting it in our women’s study this Wednesday.

It’s June! Time to give away FREE STUFF.

Thanks again and blessings to you all,
Tara B.

Kevin DeYoung has a great post over at Ligonier Ministries:

The Glory of Plodding

Here’s just a snippet:

"What we need are fewer revolutionaries and a few more plodding visionaries. That’s my dream for the church — a multitude of faithful, risktaking plodders. The best churches are full of gospel-saturated people holding tenaciously to a vision of godly obedience and God’s glory, and pursuing that godliness and glory with relentless, often unnoticed, plodding consistency."

Peacemaker Ministries also has a recent post with a video worth checking out:

Tim Challies shared an interesting post on his recent ordination for service in the local church. I appreciate Challies.com very much and I am confident that Tim will serve his church well.

But what I’m really reflecting on this morning is just how much our own ordained church leaders do to serve, lead, and watch over us. And I am so grateful that Sophia and I (and hopefully Ella one day) pray regularly for them, their leadership in the church, and their marriages, parenting, and grandparenting too.

(Can you tell this post is gearing up for another gentle reminder to ask yourself, “Can your children, right now, name all of their ordained church leaders? Do they know who is over them in ecclesiastical authority? Are they praying for obedient, cheerful, grateful hearts as followers and wisdom for their leaders? Are they striving to live their lives in such a way that their leaders' service is a JOY and not a burden?”)

Consider just a few of the qualifications listed in the ordination vows that Tim Challies took. Take the time to look up your own denominational/church vows if you’d like. If this doesn’t encourage you to pray for your leaders and encourage them, then I really have no idea what might do so.

Our church leaders strive to:

- Lead a life worthy of emulation (Hebrews 13:17)

- Joyfully watch over the souls of this flock as one who will give an accounting for each of them to God (James 3:1)

- Always preach with the Day of God’s Strict Judgment for Teachers in mind (James 5:13)

- Pray believingly for the sick (1 Peter 5:1)

- Shepherd God’s flock allotted to them willingly, eagerly, seeking to model first what they ask of us (Acts 20:17)

- Resist every temptation to shrink back from declaring the whole Gospel (whether in the privacy of someone’s home or the public square) (Acts 20:17)

- Value the calling and Gospel of Jesus Christ above their own lives (Acts 20:17)

- Guard the church as the blood-bought possession of Jesus Christ, and thus to care for her as His most valuable possession (Acts 20:17)

- Stay alert at their post, even willing to rebuke fellow elders who preach or teach any doctrine not found in God’s Word to live as if, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (1 Corinthians 14:29)

- Willingly suffer for Jesus' sake hardship, physical torture, betrayal, inconvenience, exposure, disappointment, persecution, sovereign weakenings, calamities, and daily pressures of concern for the church (1 Timothy 4:6)

- Address men’s lives as well as minds; calling others to follow your personal growth in godliness and sanctification to keep close watch on your life and your doctrine (1 Timothy 6)

- Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, and gentleness (1 Timothy 6)

- Despise the allure of riches in this world and live for the eternal wealth of Christ’s presence in heaven (1 Timothy 6)

- Speak to God’s people with gentle authority and be zealous for good works (Titus 2)

- Correct with gentleness, not quarrelsomeness; preach the Word of God; in season and out of season, reproving, rebuking, and exhorting with complete patience and teaching (2 Timothy)

Thank God for the Church.
Thank God for our leaders.

Oh! That we would be faithful members / lay people / followers / brothers and sisters / sheep.

(Cringe! Cringe! But chuckling as I shake my head too. Another HT: TakeYourVitaminZ. Just give me choir robes and five verses of old hymns. With a pipe organ. And blonde wooden pews.)

Brian Croft’s blog (Practical Shepherding) is quickly becoming one of my must-reads each day. This post is one example of why:

How Do I Shepherd a Church Member Who Doesn’t Like Me?

His first point is CLASSIC:

"1) Take an interest in what they love and enjoy. I confess I have walked an indoor track with elderly ladies, gardened, played with rabbits, visited people in the hospital I didn’t know, ate food still unidentifiable to me, all to take an interest in what they love so to communicate love for them. Even if they don’t receive it well, this act of humility will sanctify you."

SO true. And SO wise.

I really appreciate how brief and REAL his entries are. Yes, I do enjoy the “long theological” blogs too. But there’s just something so helpful and winsome about this seasoned pastor writing with gentleness on these practical, true-to-life topics. It helps me to pray more for my pastors and church leaders. It gives me an even deeper appreciation for them. And it helps me to be a better follower/sheep too. (I felt the same way when I read my senior pastor’s book, The Peacemaking Pastor. What an important read for EVERY Christian, not just pastors.)

Hope you enjoy!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Pastor Croft has a new book out that I’m very tempted to buy—but I may just ask our church librarian to do so. (Must reign in my book buying a bit!)

Test, Train, Send Into Ministry: Recovering the Local Church’s Responsibility in the External Call

And he was interviewed about this book here.

This is a topic that I’ve learned a lot about in my current church. I really appreciate how our leaders help US (as members) to understand our duties toward (potential) future pastors, and how hard THEY work to “test, train, and send.”

His last point of this interview is worth meditating on:

"JG: What are the dangers a church must guard against while seeking to discern someone’s call?

BC: Like anything else in the church, you have to patiently help the congregation understand this role and not push the process faster than it should be for them to take this responsibility. The danger in doing it too fast is people miss the importance of it and are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

Another danger would be taking the responsibility seriously while not allowing oneself to take the position that only God can have. Something we struggle with is: What is the line in affirming or not? What authority are we given and what is not ours to take? We may have concerns someone may not have the gift, but we want to consciously approach that and acknowledge we are not inerrant."

Quite awhile ago, I received an email from a blog-lurker who asked if I had any book recommendations on how to have a healthy, vibrant church that loves one another. My snow delays and misconnected flights yesterday ...



... gave me the time to (finally!) respond. So here’s the list I came up with (plus a few additions). I’d be curious to hear if you would’ve added other books:

- Jonathan Leeman, The Church and the Surprising Offense of God’s Love: Reintroducing the Doctrines of Church Membership and Discipline

- Edmund P. Clowney, Living in Christ’s Church

- James Thompson, Our Life Together

- Bruce Milne, We Belong Together: The Meaning of Fellowship

- Mark Dever, Nine Marks of a Healthy Church

- Thabiti Anyabwile, What is a Healthy Church Member?

- Alfred Poirier, The Peacemaking Pastor

- Lane & Tripp, How People Change

- Wayne A. Mack and Dave Swavely, Life in the Father’s House: A Member’s Guide to the Local Church

- Ray Stedman, Body Life

And, of course, on a “meaty” level (but it’s really readable!), Bonhoeffer’s Life Together is not to be missed.

Worth the read over at HeadHeartHand:

Great Preachers are Great Listeners (and Lovers)

Powerful stuff here:



Because he points us to powerful stuff here.

Kevin DeYoung has a great three-part series on his blog addressing disappointment in the church:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Consider just a few summary lines from the posts and then do check them out!

Part 1: How should church members respond when they feel unloved, unsupported, or like outsiders in their church? And how should church leaders respond when they are criticized for being unconcerned or the church is faulted for being unloving?

Part 2 (for leaders): Do we have some mechanism for personally knowing our sheep? Do we have some way of knowing when people are not showing up at church? Are we confronting cliquishness in our church? Are there easy, identifiable ways for the shy, the non go-getters, and the more culturally reserved to get involved and be known by others? Is it at least possible that we are more at fault than we think? Have we made promises we didn’t deliver on? There’s nothing more deadly than well-publicized, poorly executed good intentions. Are these critics generally critical?

Part 3 (for sheep): Did I ever ask for help? Have I overlooked opportunities to fit in and get to know people? Is it realistic for the leaders to give to every person in this church the kind of care I expect? If I really wanted to be loved and noticed why did I stop showing up? Am I willing to consider that I may be at fault more than I realize? Is it possible I’ve overlooked ways the body has cared for me because I was hoping a different part of the body would care for me? In general have I found this church and these leaders to be unloving and unsupportive?

HT: Challies.com for this link to a brief, but insightful, article by Chuck Lawless:

Seven Sure Fire Ways to Blow Up a Church

(It begins, “I served as a church pastor for 14 years, have now served for 12 years as a church consultant and have watched hundreds of students begin their local church ministries during my 14 years as a seminary professor. Based on my observations from these various vantage points, here’s what I would do if I wanted to “blow up” a church ...”)

Worth the read!

Oh, and I LOVED LOVED LOVED Pastor Thabiti’s recap of this year’s Together for the Gospel:

Home from T4G

If you’d like to know the OPPOSITE of blowing up a church, get to know T4G! This summary is a good place to start—not too overwhelming with zillions of links, but enough substance and personal touch to give you a real taste for this ministry.

I love churchmen! I prayed just this morning that both Sophia and Ella would one day fall in love with churchmen—not necessarily pastors, just men who love the Bride and serve Her for God’s glory and the coming of His Kingdom.

We are continuing through Paul Miller’s A Praying Life in our women’s study and I’m glad we are. My prayer life truly has changed throughout the course of our time together. I am definitely listening more to God and sharing more of my heart with Him as I go throughout my day. (The subtitle, “Connecting With God in a Distracting World” is a great one—very accurate.) Plus, I just know that if it weren’t for the study, I would never actually FINISH the book. (I start a lot of books but don’t finish all of them.)

In addition to the substance of the study, it’s also been good to be “forced” out of my home once a week to “really” connect with other women in genuine fellowship. Brief conversations before and after church are fine; ditto for small group time. But real conversations need more than just a couple of minutes and, even though I have to admit that my introvert tendencies still kick against the goad of getting “out there,” I’m always glad I did.

Still, I awoke this morning struggling about relationships and mostly just wanting to hide away. But I’m battling to stay engaged. I’m fighting for love. I’m praying for help to obey and GROW UP—because I know that my lack of love towards others reveals a problem in ME, not them.

A few reminders and encouragements from Bruce Milne (in his book, We Belong Together: The Meaning of Fellowship):

"Fellowship in the local church can be much harder going, so much so that some Christians, tragically, never really accept the challenge. But fellowship in the local church is the real thing to which Christ calls us to commit ourselves. Failure really to get involved in a local congregation after the somewhat artificial fellowship of our Christian peer group is often a judgment, not so much on the superficial and unspiritual church in question, as on the immaturity and spiritual adolescence of the Christian concerned."

“The attaining of true fellowship in any Christian group is a costly business … A fellowship which costs nothing is almost invariably worth nothing.”

"One of the surest means of promoting love is to act in a loving manner."

May God help me to act in a loving manner today! And may He actually cause me TO love, truly love, as well.

Blessings on your Thursday—

Yours,
Tara B.

Hmmmmm ... interesting post by Chris Brauns (currently guest posting over at TakeYourVitaminZ):

Do All Leaders in the Local Church Need to Be Gifted Administrators/Organizers?

The answer may surprise you. It did, me.

But upon further reflection, especially thinking through the various church conflicts I’ve either been involved with or assisted with, I have to say, “Yes. That’s right.” (How many church splits can trace their initial trajectory to a miscommunication / someone dropping the ball and really hurting someone by letting them down / leaders who scare their sheep by not keeping them informed, etc.)

Plus, this highlights yet another wonderful practical reason for learning to enjoy—and benefit from—each other’s gifts in the Body. Not everyone is the organized / administrative / speadsheet lovin' / office supply addict BIG TOE. But you lovely relational / happy / random / creative / big picture lovin' EAR LOBES would sure be wise to get to know and learn to love some toes (rather than writing them off as “unrelational” and “cold.”) Ditto for the toes, though, eh? How boring and lacking in color / spontaneity / creativity / FUN our churches would be if everyone were perfectly on time, checklisted, and filed away in some hanging file folder. Efficient, yes. But not very loving. And not usually a lot of fun. So we have a duty to RELAX, slow down, stop DOING and just BE—a friend, a helper, a grateful observer (not a critic making everything “better” and more efficient).

Where do you fall on the spectrum? How are you learning to accommodate for your weaknesses? Are you able to enjoy the way that God has made other children who are unlike you? He surely enjoys them. We should too.

Challies.com introduced me this morning to a great new blog that I’m looking forward to reading regularly:

Practical Shepherding

This article alone was worth my time popping over this morning:

How Do You Care for a Wife Hurt by Her Husband’s P*ornography Struggle?

(I use the * to try to avoid unpleasant SPAM comments from searchers for that word.)

I was most challenged by his last point (encouraging her to pursue her husband) because, although I have not had this exact struggle in my own marriage (thank God), I surely have had other struggles. Really, really hard struggles. Struggles that have tempted me to pull BACK from Fred, rather than to draw CLOSER to him. (Because when we’re really hurt, isn’t drawing closer the very last thing we want to do?)

Hope you enjoy Pastor Croft’s blog. And thanks again, Challies.com for introducing us all to so many wonderful resources.

Off into our co-op day now!

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

Once again, TakeYourVitaminZ continues to bless me with his great links!

1. A gem from Tim Chester: The Context of Pastoral Care: The Gospel Community

“If I’m moaning, I need someone to challenge me to find joy in Christ. If I’m anxious, I need someone to exhort me to trust in my heavenly Father’s care. If I’m ashamed, I need someone to comfort me with the grace of God. It might be a leader; it might be a new Christian. It might be in a scheduled meeting; it might be as we tend someone’s garden together. We need daily exhortation: ‘See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.’ (Hebrews 3:12-13) And we need it from people who see us in the daily grind of life, not just when we are on our best behaviour.”

2. Ray Ortlund’s quoting of D. Martin Lloyd-Jones: We Cannot Play Around with Sin

“Be careful how you treat God, my friends. You may say to yourself, ‘I can sin against God and then, of course, I can repent and go back and find God whenever I want him.’ You try it. And you will sometimes find that not only can you not find God but that you do not even want to. You will be aware of a terrible hardness in your heart ... ”

Also found some great posts from other sites too:

3. Ligon Duncan gives us three minutes of The Non-Negotiables of the Gospel. (Preach it, Pastor Duncan!)

4. I was blessed by a link on the website for one of our sister churches here in Montana. Gallatin Valley Presbyterian Church has a sweet set of Liturgy Lessons on their Children’s Ministry page. (Sorry that they don’t have a permalink option. Just scroll down a bit and you’ll see it.) I encouraged Fred to check it out (printed him a copy) and I’m going to think about some of their ideas as I lead Sophia and the other kids in our co-op re: preparing for and experiencing our church’s service.

Guess I’ll stop there for the morning. 6AM. Time to do some non-computer reading before the rest of the pack starts to stir.

Blessings!
– Tara B.

I’m not a huge fan of the “fruit” analogy, but the substance of this post by Deepak Reju over at IX Marks is worth reading:

Picking Fruit Off a Tree

In it, he talks about investing in future church leaders—rather than allowing your day to be filled with the “urgent” and the “crises” of church life. Specifically:

"One of the ideas I’ve learned on our staff is to be strategic about the men I disciple and invest in. One of our staff pastors has often talked about being deliberate in investing in low-hanging fruit—men who show a lot of potential, who demonstrate a teachable heart and desire to grow, and with a little investment will themselves be able to invest in others. These low-hanging fruit quickly become disciple-making disciples!

The nature of pastoral ministry is that you get all types of requests for help—bad marriages needing attention, wives struggling with depression, young men and women sorting through who to marry and what to do with their life, physical sickness and hospitalizations, etc. Pastors tend to spend most of their time investing in high-hanging fruit–those situations which take a lot of time, energy, prayer, love, and investment, and often reap very little fruit. Without trying, you’ll get plenty of these situations come across your door.

Don’t get me wrong—to be a pastor is to be a shepherd. A fundamental part of your job is to care for the sheep, both through their good and bad days. Yet, what often happens is that a pastor’s schedule can get over-run with high-hanging fruit, and we rarely take the time to deliberately invest in the low-hanging fruit. We spend our days investing in that which reaps very little harvest, without spending any time picking the low-hanging fruit.

So, here’s my question for pastors: How deliberate are you at investing in the low-hanging fruit?"

Great questions and not just for pastors. (MBAs and lawyers ask such questions “out in the business world” all the time.)

But here’s a thought for we laypeople too: How much time do we spend investing in relationships for the purpose of building up another person and encouraging them in the use of their gifts so that they, in turn, can invest in others?

Women might call it by other terms ("spiritual mothering", “Titus 2 Ministry,” etc.). Back in the day, I wonder if this was just called “real life” because the nature of our little agrarian towns and community-based lives required us to overlap and apprentice more, simply for life skills.

Whatever the case, I know that I have been the blessed recipient of help throughout the 39 years of my life. (And especially since becoming a Christian as a teenager.)

Not that help, real help, is always pleasant. In fact? It rarely is. Who wants to be confronted? Who finds it enjoyable to see huge areas of ignorance and lack of skill revealed?

And yet, I thank God for so many people who took the time to rebuke, teach, exhort, confront, engage, encourage, pray for, bless, love me over the years. Sure, some people just took one look, got defensive against my Tara-ness, rejected my Tara-ness, stood at a distance and said, “BAD Tara-ness.”

Others, did not. (And do not, even to this day—because oh my STARS the longer I live, the more weaknesses I see in myself. So obviously, I still need lots o' help.)

Reading this article by Deepak was a kick in the pants for me, though, to think about my relationships:

- Am I self-focused in my friendships? Do I just want to be around people who are “functional” / mature / godly / wise / ENJOYABLE?

- Do I actively seek out some relationships where I just get to SERVE? Or does everything have to be about ME?

- How might I be responding to the crises around me rather than strategically thinking about (and taking advantage of) the important opportunities in this day / week / month / year?

Oh, and reading this article reminded me how very grateful I am that our pastors invest in our men and work hard to train them to lead and shepherd the flock well. So wise. So very, very wise.

Hope your Thursday is a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.

This new resource from Tim Keller sure sounds like a great way to invest $32 and your time, too. (Maybe a good fit for our women’s study this summer? Hmmmmm ...)

Gospel in Life

(An an intensive eight session course on the gospel and how it is lived out in all of life—first in your heart, then in your community, and then out into the world.)

My throat officially feels as though it is being sliced with razor blades (ouch!), so the germs (viruses?) they keep on livin' on at the ol' Barthels. Bummer.

But my physical weakness has a plus side: I’m sleeping at night! Oh, I have to say, I’d choose a bad cold over insomnia any day/night of the week, so actually? Being sick has turned out to be a blessing.

Plus, when I woke up early this morning in pain, and not feeling well enough to walk Lilikoi, it afforded me a sweet opportunity to catch up on some reading.

I have a number of quotes I want to share from my reading in “real life” (i.e., books) ... but still being prone, and feeling lazy, I’m just going to link to some blog articles I think you might really enjoy.

First up, IX Marks! Wow, those guys can write.

My favorite was this gem on pastors as chief repenters:

Spiritual Warfare, Humility, and the Pastor as Chief Repenter

So wise. And such a sweet reminder of how our beloved Pastor Jason and Elder Laverman lead our family (and our entire congregation). It really isn’t that hard to submit to the oversight of men who lead by pointing you NOT to themselves, but to the Savior. Actually? It’s a privilege and a joy.

Along these lines, Ed Welch had a great post recently about men and blame-shifting. He also addresses briefly the topic some ladies and I were discussing in recent blog comments ("Do we sin by our anger BECAUSE our kids are disobedient? Do they CAUSE our anger? Or do their actions simply bring out the anger that was there all along?"):

Urgent–For Men: Blame Shifting

Poking around IX Marks led me to another great post:

Has Membership Become the Absorbing Topic of the Christian World?

Oooooooh. Very intriguing. Especially the links to various perspectives on this question.

(Oh, and I just LOVED what Kevin DeYoung wrote in his little bio paragraph:

"You may contact me via email, though I am not always able to respond personally. If you have encouragement for me, I thank you in advance. If you have constructive criticism, I will take it seriously. If you want help with a term paper or you want me to read your manuscript or dissertation, you’re barking up the wrong tree."

So funny, yet spot-on. I’m finding myself (hopefully gently!) declining more and more requests for help re: “How can I become a SPEAKER?” and “Will you read/edit/improve my MANUSCRIPT?” and “How can I get PUBLISHED too?” Maybe I need to put some permanent language about that stuff somewhere on my site ...)

ANYWAY ... back to substance ...

Ed Welch hits it out the park with this one:

What Not to Say to Those Who Are Suffering

But I have to say, my favorite of everything I read this morning (well, except for my time in the Word), was this gem from Tim Lane. If you only read one link from this post, read this. And if you’re like me, print it out:

Helping “Difficult” People in Your Church

I’ll tempt you with just a few excerpts:

"With these scriptures as guidance, I offer a list of ten pastoral skills that I learned as I discipled one individual who came with many difficult problems.

I will call her Nancy. She is in her 40’s and seems to be a sincere believer in Christ. She is in a bad marriage. She is someone who would classically be labeled bipolar or manic-depressive. She has successfully isolated herself from people in her church because once they get to know her, they become overwhelmed by her. Here is the challenge: How do I love Nancy well? What will it look like to be useful to her in her growth in grace? ...

Lesson 1. Pay Attention to the Heart (Yours and Theirs)

The category of the heart must be kept on the radar at all times.

Yours—God has ordained that this person be in your life. The first pastoral exercise is to pay attention to the common temptations to sin that different kinds of difficult people pose to you. Manipulative “borderline personality”? Angry and oblivious? Addicted and deceitful? Unstable “bipolar”? You may be tempted to overpower, or to appease, or to avoid such people. You will likely move typically in one of these directions or bounce back and forth between them in an effort to get some relief. You end up, if you are not carefully attending to your own heart, sinfully responding to the challenges that the difficult person is bringing into your life. If you do this, how then can you call this person to respond to life in godly ways when you aren’t even responding in godly ways? This, by the way, is true of any relationship ...

Lesson 2. Clearly Define Who Sets the Agenda

The common language that is often used here is the language of “boundaries”. I think that can be helpful but it does not go deep enough. Who sets the agenda in any relationship? God does ...

Grace-driven acceptance of a person does not mean open-ended availability ...

Lesson 3. Have Biblically Realistic/Optimistic Goals

Here is a place where your theology of the Christian life means everything. The doctrine of sanctification sees the Christian life through the biblical lens of slow, steady, back and forth progress. It’s realistic: change is incremental. It’s also optimistic: there is progress. For me, as I got a handle on the practical pastoral implications of this biblical understanding of the Christian life, it made all the difference in the world.

When Nancy was really depressed, I was thankful that she was still coming to church and seeking help. When she was particularly upbeat and euphoric, I would avoid being duped and then let down when she was depressed again. Without this leveling view of the Christian life, you will be a manic-depressive enabler!

Oh! There is so much more wisdom in this article (Redefine Love, Give the Person Hope, Call the Person to Serve, Connect the Person with the Body of Christ, Work Wisely with Other Helpers, Connect the Person to Christ Himself, We are ALL Difficult People), I really hope you’ll click through and be encouraged/helped.

That’s all for me this morning. Time to serve the fam—I hear them beginning to move around now.

Blessed Sabbath to you!

Gratefully,
Tara B.

Another great read from Pastor Anyabwile:

The Redundancy of Radical Discipleship

Thanks to IX Marks for the links, here are some posts from a pastor on the “bleatings from the sheep” that you should not miss:

1. I Did Not Pray for Six Months After Your Sermon on Prayer

2. People are Slow to Change

3. My People Were Living Under a Burden of Being Disappointing to Me

4. People are Weak – And Some of Us Are Pitifully Weak

TakeYourVitmainZ posted a great set of questions from Timmy Brister:

1. If our church would cease to exist in our city, would it be noticed and missed?

2. If all the pastors were tragically killed in a car accident, would the church’s ministry cease or fall apart?

3. If the only possible means of connecting with unbelievers were through the missionary living of our church members, how much would we grow? (I ask this because the early church did not have signs, websites, ads, marketing, etc.)

4. What are the subcultures within the church?  Do they attract or detract from the centrality of the gospel and mission of the church?

5. Is our church known more for what we are not/against than what we are/for?

6. What are we allowing to be our measuring stick of church health? (attendance vs. discipleship; seating capacity vs. sending capacity; gospel growth, training on mission, etc.)

7. Are the priorities of our church in line with the priorities of Christ’s kingdom?

8. If our members had 60 seconds to explain to an unbeliever what our church is like, what would you want them to say?  How many do you think are saying that?

9. If the invisible kingdom of God became visible in our city, what would that look like?

10. In what ways have we acted or planned in unbelief instead of faith?

TakeYourVitaminZ thanked Tim Chester for this (great!) Marcus Honeysett article ('tis hard to accurately thank everyone re: links to links to links in blogland, isn’t it? but I do try ...)

A Hole in the Fuel Tank? Ten Reasons Why Churches Stall

I encourage you to read the entire article (it isn’t long). And to tempt you, here are just a few summary points from Mr. Chester to consider as to why churches stall:

1. The church forgets who we are and what we are for … mission quickly becomes just one among many activities rather than the defining vision of who we are as a community.

2. The majority of believers are no longer thrilled with the Lord and what he is doing in their lives. When questions like ‘What is God doing with you at the moment?’ cease to be common currency, it is a sure sign of creeping spiritual mediocrity.

3. The single biggest cause of stalled churches is the belief that material comfort can be normative for Christians. It is the opposite of radical commitment to Christ.

4. [Christians] see church as one among many leisure activities, usually low down the priority list. They are unlikely to see the Christian community as God’s great hope for the world and unlikely to put commitment above self-interest.

5. Where people take no personal responsibility for their own spiritual growth a stalled church becomes more likely.

6. When preaching, teaching and Bible study become ends in themselves rather than means to an end, something is badly wrong.

7. A church becomes afraid to ask radical questions … People start to equate serving the church with living out the gospel. Few churches regularly evaluate every aspect of church life against their core vision.

8. Confusing Christian activities with discipleship …

9. Not understanding how to release and encourage everyone in the church to use their spiritual gifts for the building up of the church … There are two types of DNA in churches. One type of church says ‘we exist to have our personal spiritual needs met’, the other ‘we exist to impact our locality and the world with the gospel of the grace of God in Christ’. The first type is a stalled church.

10. No church was stalled at the point that it was founded. At the beginning all churches were adventures in faith and daring risk for God ... but at some point the mindset shifted from daring passion for the Lord to comfortable mediocrity … The mantra of the maintenance mindset is ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’. But just like buying shoes for growing children, if structures don’t take account of future growth then fellowships end up stunted and deformed.

Much to think about. And a great reminder to keep praying for our church leaders and actively look for ways to encourage and help them.

(Maybe today would be a great day for your family to begin memorizing and praying over all of your elders, deacons (council members / whatever term your church uses for leaders) and their families. It seems to me that one of the best ways we can honor and serve our leaders is to know who they are and pray for them.)

Blessed Sabbath to you all!

Yours,
Tara B.

Life Together just posted a link to a fantastic article on churches as communities of convenience vs. communities of grace.

A quick glance at the four-line chart is SO worth the 15 second read. But be forewarned–it is so profound that you may be thinking about it a LOT as you go throughout your day. I sure am.

Gratefully,
Tara B.

Have you been following the discussion threads over at IX Marks on Jay Adam’s "When Counseling, Don’t ..." list?

I REALLY appreciate their ADDITIONS and their first NUANCE too.

I’m looking forward to reading more nuances when they (hopefully) post them in the future.

Hope you enjoy a blessed Tuesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Is your church currently searching for a pastor? Or has your church EVER searched for a pastor? Or MIGHT your church search for a pastor in the future?

If so, then you should read this article by Pastor Anyabwile:

Want Ads, Witch Trials, and Pastor Searches

One line of it really struck me:

"... few committees seem to really carefully search ..."

I think it stuck out because of an interesting conversation I had last week ...

It was with a pastor who was calling because his state’s denominational women’s conference was considering inviting me to serve, but first he (and his committee that oversees the conference) needed to ask me some doctrinal questions.

How GREAT is THAT?!

I LOVE it when a church or denomination CARES ENOUGH to check me out. They should! Everyone should. It’s so wise to be so careful.

(Not to equate my teeny-tiny efforts to serve at women’s retreats or conferences with being a PASTOR or anything. I would never mean to imply that! I just thought it was wonderful that they were CAREFUL.)

How grateful I am for the local church. Accountability & encouragement. Discipline & counsel. Oversight re: doctrine and life. I’m desperate for it all.

I’m also almost home! We’re in the MSP WorldClub (I wonder how many blogs I’ve posted from this WorldClub?) and should board our flight to Billings in a few minutes. We’re all agreed that we’re going to wake up Lilikoi when we get home because we ALL want to give her some scritches and lovies.

Hope your Monday was a good one!

Grace to you,
Tara B.