considerable grace

Ella and I had a quiet day at home yesterday as Fred worked all day and night and Sophie was busy with the Ball:



One of my pleasures of the day had to do with gutting the girls' closet and making my standard “give away,” "throw away," “file away” piles. Prior to my happy organizing, we still had 2T winter clothes mixed in with (Ella’s actual size) 5/6 summer wear and things were just a mess. But afterwards, I had that organizer-happy-feeling of good stewardship and order and ahhhhhhhh.

Until this morning.

This morning, when Fred was already at church for worship team practice, I went to dress the girls in the adorable little dresses that my mother in law had made them for the summer and I absolutely could not find the bloomers for Ella’s skirt. This would have been no big deal prior to yesterday. But after hours of cleaning, purging, and organizing? They should have been in her pants/shorts/bloomers drawer. I knew that they were in her pants/shorts/bloomers drawer. They were! They were!

Except that they were not.

It drove me absolutely crazy this morning. I went through their entire dresser and closet over and over again. I knew I had just seen them. I had folded them. I had put them where they belonged. Where in the world were they??! Was I going crazy?? Did I not just organize this entire corner of our home?

Seriously. I blew through 40 minutes of “I must be going crazy” searching and finally the girls and I headed to church. But I could not stop thinking of those stupid bloomers. My heart was not preparing for corporate worship. I was not anticipating receiving the Lord’s Supper. I just wanted to find those bloomers.

Thankfully, two things happened:

1. I realized how out of whack my heart was as we were driving to church and I repented and got over myself and said, “Oh well!” and began to prepare for worship.

2. After church, my hero, Fred the Valiant (to quote Andrew Walker) asked me to state systematically where I thought they should be. ("In the drawer where I folded and put them.") And every single place I went after organizing the girls' room. ("Basement. My office. Utility room.") Then Fred found them.

Yup. SORT OF right in the drawer where they were supposed to be ... but having fallen OUT of the drawer, they were pinned to the BACK of the dresser BEHIND the drawer. (So Fred could only find them because he took the drawer completely out and got on his back to peer into the dresser.)

Now that’s a nice guy, eh?

Plus ... I wasn’t going crazy! Well. Maybe a little crazy ... but it was really weird. I just KNEW they had to be there, but they weren’t. And both Fred and Sophie (at different times) said the same thing to me: “Mom? Are you SURE there were bloomers for this dress? We’ve never seen them! Could you have THOUGHT you saw bloomers, when really you just saw the HATS?” No no no. I was sure. But then they weren’t there! It was very strange.

But all’s well that ends well and I’m really grateful that God gave me the grace to have it not ruin my time in church (!).

Hope your Sunday was less stressful but also filled with much grace—

Your friend,
Tara B.

I really like Cranium’s Hullabaloo ... especially when a) you’re tired; b) the kiddos can’t play outside for whatever reason, but c) they are itchin' for some activity. Hullabaloo to the rescue!





It’s even fun for two year-olds and nine year-olds! (And, apparently, Golden Retrievers.)

At not-quite-three years old, Ella is at a great age for many discussions about authority. This topic is particularly important because of the issues associated with obeying people and staying safe (as I have discussed many times on this blog).

Today? Ella really blessed me when, out of the blue, she said:

"Mom? You’re in charge. And Daddy is in charge. And Sissie is very wise."

Spot on!

Officially (unless it is one of the brief times that Sophia is acting in loco parentis), Sophie has no authority over Ella. They are siblings. Peers. Equals. But Sophia is a very responsible, caring eight year-old and Ella would be wise to listen to her.

See the difference? Submission? Obedience? Not usually. Wise? Yes!

Good job, Ella.

And thank You, Lord, for the blessing of wise friends and godly leaders in many spheres of life.

Hope your Saturday is a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.

What a fun day we had at The Reef!



Ella particularly liked the wave pool. We must have walked/swam that thing 200 times so right now she’s napping hard and I’m feeling all of my days-away-from-42-years-old-ness:

The leaders at Peacemaker Ministries are SO generous! When I was quite surprised to have study guides for my ORIGINAL video series (4+ years ago!) returned to me, the Peacemaker leaders granted me an exception to my contract with them and now I get to give them away! Hooray! I love giving stuff away.

So here’s the deal ... the study guides look a little different from the current ones, and they don’t have the really nice letter from Ken Sande at the beginning, but truly, ALL of the substantive content is the same.

If you have a ministry idea for ten Peacemaking Church: Living the Gospel in Relationships study guides, please drop me an email or leave a comment here and I’ll have the joy of sending the guides to one of you.

Hope this is a blessing to you! And hope you have a wonderful day—

Your friend,
Tara B.

Loved this Challies link:

Ten Tips for Going to Church With Your Family

In our home, I try to always refer to Sunday as:

"It’s Sunday! The BEST day of the week!"

And from toddler stage on, I encourage our girls to RUN to our pastors and give them a big hug and say, “Hi, Pastor Alfred!” "Hi, Pastor Jason!"

We also try very hard to look around and find new people and (even though it’s not easy or comfortable for us introverts!), go up and introduce ourselves, get to know them, hopefully make them feel welcome.

We practice the creeds and confessions and Lord’s Prayer and doxology at home so often that even now (at two and a half), Ella can chime in with the congregation.

We work hard to take sermon notes and discuss the sermon over lunch. We quote our friends the Lavermans all the time:

"Worship is work."

And it is. There is pleasure of course, too. But to attend to the entire 90 minute service and actually listen to God’s call to worship and actually confess sin and believe God’s forgiveness; to care about prayer requests and praises; to be fed through the Lord’s Supper; to seriously take our membership and baptismal vows? That’s a lot of work. Good work! But work nonetheless. We are not passive (like viewing a movie). We are engaged and active in response to the amazing truth that the God of the universe is engaged and active in our lives.

Oh. And we tithe and give offerings. Even now. Fifty cents of a five dollar allowance? To the church. 10% of birthday cash? To the church. Deacon Barthel and I say it to young people who seek out counsel and we try to teach it to our girls too:

"If you always tithe, you’ll never miss it."

(Plus, then, of course, we strive to live simply enough to give far beyond the 10% tithe too.)

So ... I hope you enjoy the article! And I hope you have a wonderful day of worship and rest this coming Sunday.

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

I think we have the best nursery coordinator in the world. K.G. is organized, detail-oriented, AND gracious, loving and super good at relationships. I really admire her! AND, these days? I’m extremely grateful for her re: our littlest, wonderful, fun, strong-willed and NOT so good at relationships love bug, Ella.

Yes. Yes. Dear Ella continues to have some serious “issues” in the nursery and I have to say, one of my first emotions in response is embarrassment. Not quite mortification ("to cause someone to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated") ... but kinda close. Moving in that direction. You know, embarrassed. No one likes to have their kid disciplined or reprimanded in classroom/nursery settings.

But even given my slight Fear of Man (Prov. 29:25) response, my overwhelming emotion is one of hopefulness. I have great hope that God is at work in the life of my daughter and He will never give up on her. I likewise have great hope that my church family will never give up on her. After all, this is the vow they took at her baptism:

"Do you as a congregation undertake the responsibility of assisting the parents in the Christian nurture of this child?"

“We do.”

That’s why, when we got home from church on Sunday and I was tempted to dwell on our current, um, challenges, Fred could confidently and lovingly exhort me to remember that:

"This is why we take vows."

They to us and us to them. We’re in it for the long-haul and we’re in it as family.

May God be glorified as we share “not only the gospel of God but our lives as well” (1 Thessalonians 2:8 )!

Happy Monday,
Tara B.

We were so blessed to attend our local Memorial Day service this morning:



And we enjoyed Sophie’s “Best Impressionistic Statement” award at our church’s art show:



Fred had a very fun birthday. The girls created a silly “bear hug” costume, skit, and card and his gifts were all very bear-y (Montana Grizzlies & Chicago Bears):







This year was the first time Ella really got into helping with Fred’s birthday cake:



And our time with Papa Charlie and Granma Kathy is sadly coming to an end:



Hope your Monday was a blessed one too!

With love from all of the Barthels—
Tara B.

We’re looking very forward to trying Pastor Dave and Chris Bentz’s famed BBQ recipe tomorrow. Yum!

But far, far above our lunchtime munchies, our entire family is looking forward to going to our local Memorial Day ceremony. We have already purchased our red, white, and blue flowers and miniature flags to place on our local gravestones. (Did you know Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day?) We have been talking for weeks now about standing in the presence of the flag and never allowing a flag to drape on the ground. We will hear stories of courage and be inspired to live for ideals well beyond our personal comfort. We will shake the hands of WWII veterans and thank them for their service before they are gone.

Sophie just climbed into bed with me and I asked her if there is anything particularly meaningful about Memorial Day for her. She replied:

"When you think about how they sacrificed their lives for our country, our freedoms, the right to be free ... how could we NOT go and honor them tomorrow morning?"

Amen, dear one!

So please, friends, consider attending a Memorial Day service tomorrow. There is, I am absolutely sure, one near you. (But there might NOT be in twenty years unless we all take up the mantle.) It may only be 15 minutes long. 30 minutes. Even here in snowy Montana (yes! it’s really snowing here this weekend!), can’t we take 30 minutes to remember those who have died in our country’s service?

Freedom is never free.

We had such a fun day with grandparents and the Lyndes ...





AND ... Sophie got her glasses! She said the world is a much more beautiful place ...



What a grace to have access to medical care and the means to acquire the needed glasses. Thank You, Lord!

Hope your Saturday was a blessed one too.

Oh. And we woke up to SNOW!



Crazy Montana weather. The girls made up “Friendship Carols” (think “Sophie and Scout” to the tune of “Silent Night”) in response:

I’m not sure what I’ve enjoyed more this week ... Ella in her little wet suit or Ella happily picking up ALL of the towels in the entire swimming area and then joining them in their basket:



Fun times! But I’ve also so enjoyed the giggle-filled games of Slap Jack and Old Maid:



All with an accompanying soundtrack by Ella-Bella:



Yes, I am SO grateful for this time with my mom and stepdad!



And with our lifetime friend Scouty too:

Carolyn McCulley continues to be my favorite contemporary author on issues related to womanhood. Her book, Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, is so thoughtful, humble, well-researched, and well-written, that I would not hesitate to read it with my friends who hold polar opposite worldviews compared to Carolyn and me. And that is really saying something because many fine books on womanhood (from a variety of positions) are quite proud and even ugly towards people with whom they disagree. But never Carolyn McCulley.

Her post today over at the DesiringGod blog is yet another example of her intelligent, spot-on analysis:

Mommy Wars are Spirit Wars

Enjoy!

(And thanks, Carolyn.)

Really appreciated Challies' links to this today:

Brian Croft: Ten Practical Ways to Love and Serve Your Wife

It encouraged me to appreciate all that Fred does to love and serve me, and also challenged me to think:

What are the ten most practical ways that I can love and serve my husband?

Thanks to the generosity of my sister in funding the trip, my mom and stepdad are in town for a week-long visit. It’s so great to have them here—the girls are absolutely in grandparent heaven:



And we’re all enjoying the chance to visit and catch-up in person.

But in addition to the good times, my mom and I have been tempted to slip back into a really unpleasant relational cycle. It looks something like this:

1. My mom feels like she’s “not good enough.” That we’re unhappy with her in some way. That she doesn’t measure up.

2. She says something self-deprecating that implies I’m being critical of her. (Which, by the way, in my teens and twenties would have been true—I was a total Proud Jerk Christian who did judge her and did criticize her.)

3. I get defensive and impatient because OF COURSE I want to be all gospel-focused and gospel-infused and only ever communicate love and grace and acceptance; and I want her to KNOW that I’m all accepting and loving and grace-filled.

4. I feel like I’m “not good enough.” That my mom is unhappy with me in some way. That I don’t measure up.

5. Spin. Rinse. Repeat cycle.

Or not.

Yes, the great thing about sanctification is that we really do grow! And within MINUTES of our interacting, I already started to SEE this pattern so then I could talk about it with God and Fred. And Fred could pray for me and encourage me. AND I could (gently, carefully) broach the topic with my mom. She was very responsive and we both communicated our desire to INTERRUPT this shame cycle.

Yes, “Shame Interrupted.” I’m totally using Ed Welch’s words yet again. But I really have been making meals and driving to-from the hotel/hotel pool THINKING and PRAYING about how God’s grace interrupts the shame cycle. We don’t have to be stuck forever in these relational patterns. God really does “lift the pain of worthlessness and rejection.” Just like the title of Dr. Welch’s latest book says:

Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection

So ... we’re off again. Swimsuited, goggle-y, adorable little girls. A happy and grateful, but tired mom. And hopefully—a grace-experiencing grandma.

Hope your day is a blessed one!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Are you following the visual theology posts of Challies.com? I am and I absolutely love them.

Today’s visual theology was particularly beautiful. I immediately forwarded it on to my pastors, elder, and husband as a thank you for not only calling us all to live out the one-another verses in Scripture, but also for praying for us and helping us to obey.

Enjoy! (You’ll need to click through to the high-res version to read all of the verses and really see its beauty.)