Hope in Suffering

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.

June 26, 2012 /

[image_frame style=”framed_shadow” align=”left”]http://tarabarthel.com/WP/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/dragon-aslan1.jpg[/image_frame]I’m assuming that most of you are familiar with C.S. Lewsis’ masterpiece, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. If not, I hope you go out today and read it! Well. Actually read the entire Chronicles of Narnia because that’s the way to really understand the depth of everything that happens.

For the past four days as I was blessed to be learning and growing at the The  Gospel Coalition’s National Women’s Conference, I was also feeling a little bit like Eustace the dragon, right as he was on his back, and Aslan’s great and powerful claws were tearing off his scaly skin from head to toe. I believe the exact quote is:

“The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.”

You see, I was attending the conference with friends. And one of my friends is in such an acute stage of suffering and pain that pretty much every word, hymn, Scripture passage, teaching point felt (at least to me) like a giant claw ripping my friend into shreds. Not just the stuff about suffering and sin and grief. Many of those passages hit home too, of course. But the main focus of the conference was on the doctrine of God, so we heard over and over and over again of his goodness, sovereignty, blessedness, holiness, justice, mercy, compassion, transcendence and yet immanence. We heard how he draws near to his people and dwells with his people. As a Shepherd, he carries us, his lambs. As a Father, he provides for and protects his children. As a Husband, he makes us, the church, the Bride of Christ, radiant and glorious and he remains ever faithful to us.

Yeah. It was THOSE passages that were the hardest to hear as I sat next to my friend and occasionally had to step off of the LiveBlog simply to hold her in my arms as we wept.

Were we doubting God’s goodness, glory, and love? No. Not really. Not in that moment at least. We were just sad. Very sad. Filled with grief. Pained and heartbroken, unmasked, shamed, pulverized, weak, tired. Sad.

Yes, we believed every biblical truth being taught to us. But believing a theological truth in the hypothetical is miles away from actually believing it: laying hold of it with all of your energy, passion, emotion, thinking … especially through the valley of the shadow of death.

So we did what we are all called to do in times of great suffering:

  • We wept. (And we remembered that Jesus knows our pain and knows even pain beyond it. And He wept. And He cares.)
  • We listened–to God’s Word taught to us; to God’s Word that we read together; to other wise counselors who have thankfully written books on the topic that is causing this dear family so much pain.
  • We talked. No gossip. Not self-focused. But honest. Deep. Not always serious, but not always surface-level either. By God’s gracious provision we had extended time together to laugh and play AND cry and talk about “the hard stuff.”
  • We prayed. We prayed for courage, wisdom and comfort. We confessed truths about Who God is. We prayed for our loved ones in need. We begged God to help us to keep our hearts fixed on Him, not the present, heart-breaking, terrifying circumstances.

 
And just as I can easily imagine Eustace thinking, as he is prone on his back and the fangs and claws of a good, but not safe, Lion come towards him, my friend and I proclaimed together:

“Though he slay me, yet I will hope in him.” Job 13:15

For the glory of the Lamb,
Tara B. 

By  Comments Off on The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.