Some people appear SO STRONG …

Still mulling a bit on this topic of harsh criticism/feedback …

It hit me last night that (maybe?) some people use particularly strong (harsh) words in their feedback of others because they think that their hearers can “TAKE IT.”

Maybe the person comes across as “strong” and/or “together.” Maybe she’s a size 00 shirt-tucker and her eleven children always are in clean, pressed, matching clothes with happy/cheerful/obedient dispositions. Maybe he has all of the position, power, prestige, and wealth.

And so it can be tempting to “let ’em have it” because OBVIOUSLY, they’re strong and they can take it.

Really? Don’t be too sure …

Maybe she’s just been so ruthlessly attacked for so many years that she can stand in front of you and “keep it together” even though inside, she is doubled-over (again) by the blow. Maybe he comes ACROSS as strong and unaffected–but your crushing criticism is the straw on his back that opens up wounds from a childhood of neglect and horror you could never even imagine.

But there he stands–unmoving. “So strong.” Right.

It seems to me that one aspect of learning to deal more graciously with one another is to remember that we ALL are human. Frail. Sometimes strong and sometimes weak. But humans, pilgrims, walking through this oft-troubled life, persevering in a world that is truly “not the way it’s supposed to be.”

And people suffer WAY more in their lives than we could ever imagine. (Especially the “strong” ones. Especially if we never take the time to actually get to know them.)

You know–years ago, I was hurt terribly by some Christians. I look back on that season of my life with many regrets. One of my greatest regrets is the lack of compassion I had for the (seemingly) “strong” people who were hurting me. Where was my love? Where was my grace? Lacking, to be sure.

Thank God for forgiveness! (I do! I do!)
I pray that I never repeat my graceless criticism of them or any other person.

Yours in the battle,
Tara B.