Peacemaking & The Fall

Incredibly keen insights from GH (in Maryland) … I am going to mull on them for awhile.

Happy Tuesday!

Love,
Tara B.

“Dear Tara,

I was too busy studying and preparing lessons for the young Moms’ class at VBS when your e-mail came inviting participation in your on-line survey. However, I am finally freer than I have been in a while and wanted to open some lines of discussion with you. I don’t know that I have a great deal to offer on the subject. Most has been learned in the school of hard knocks. However, having been involved in [women’s ministry] now for 25+ years, I have had many opportunities to observe conflicts in various stages and at various temperatures.

One common thread among women is that they fail to understand the totality of the destruction involved in The Fall. They especially fail to see it in themselves. Therefore, when they talk of Grace and Mercy, they have a limited or truncated understanding of how vast and costly that mercy is. I believe that until we begin to glimpse how great is our own sin and how great God’s Mercy is towards us in Christ Jesus, will we ever begin to be gracious toward one another and begin to “restore one another gently.”

The other half of the picture seems to be that we fail to believe that doing things God’s way actually works. We doubt it in all sorts of ways and areas, not just conflict resolution. We doubt the power of the Holy Spirit in the simple presentation of the Gospel message, we doubt that God can really take care of our husbands and children, we doubt God’s promises in relation to strength, rest, hope, suffering, etc., etc. The truth of the matter is that most “Christian” women are Biblically illiterate. Unfortunately, we continue to sew together our own “fig leaves” rather than use the “skins” that God has provided.

It seems to me that one of the most powerful tools for conflict resolution is understanding who God is, what happened in the Fall, and who we are in Christ. I love Linleigh Roberts’ book, Let Us Make Man (published by Banner of Truth Trust). It is a powerful tool in beginning study. He shows how man is made a rational, moral and purposeful being, how the Fall affected these areas, and how salvation restores. The emphasis is on what God does in us and for us.

Another component which hinders resolution: women are talkers not listeners.

One more component: women are assumers with unspoken expectations not true communicators. We have not learned the difference between talking and communicating. Additionally, many women that I meet do not live in the “real world” in their heads.

As for the men, the most obvious answer is to pray for them. But more than that, we need to be the people that God has called us to be, thus reducing conflict, so that they don’t have to work so hard shepherding us. Those almost sound like “Sunday School answers,” but they are not. I cannot think of anything more difficult to do. It takes hard work – we are lazy. But when we become more like Jesus, we can afford to be gracious, forgiving, accepting, tenderhearted, etc.

There are many other things which are practical which can help, but I just wanted to open up this conversation.

Much love in Jesus,
GH

PS
My pastor preached on “peace” on Sunday from John 14 – “my peace I give you” … “my peace I leave with you.” He said: “Peace is not like most people think. It is not just a cessation of war. It is wanting the very best for the other person.” What a challenge!”