Leaders as Peacemakers (HT: Ajith Fernando)

One of my favorite people in the world is Ajith Fernando. This quiet, gentle, giant of a man of faith serves Youth for Christ with passion, brilliance, and faithful, humble, love. I never fail to learn when I read anything he writes–and I am always drawn to worship Christ.

I think I may have posted this essay he wrote on “Leaders as In-House Peacemakers” a few years back (can you believe I’ve blogged over 1,200 posts?!)–but it’s so good that I wanted to share it again. (Please note that the bolded sections are my emphases, not Pastor Fernando’s.)

Hope your weekend is restful and enjoyable!

Yours,
Tara B.

LEADERS AS IN-HOUSE PEACEMAKERS
by Ajith Fernando

I have found that one of the most important roles of leaders is to be “in-house peacemakers,” that is, to lead in solving unity problems within the group they lead. This priority is seen in the high priestly prayer of Jesus when he prayed asking that his disciples be one so that the world may believe (John 17:11, 22). Paul also expressed this priority when he said, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind” (Philip. 2:2). Something of his joy was gone when believers did not dwell in unity. So he urges them to become one again. Later, using emphatic language this time, he says, “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord” (Philip. 4.2)

WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT FOR LEADERS
I can say that in my over twenty-six at my job, maintaining unity among the YFC leaders has been the most demanding challenge I have had. A dear friend of mine, who is both the CEO of a bank and an Assembly of God pastor, once told me, “The most important task of a leader is to keep the team united.”

Leaders are essentially enablers: they enable others to do the work that takes their group/church forward. Few things hinder the forward march of a group as much as disunity within the group. It causes emotional and spiritual exhaustion. Despite its great cost Christian ministry is a gloriously exciting work that thrills the heart of the minister. What more exciting thing could one do than to be carried along by the fresh wind of the Spirit. But disunity grieves and quenches the Spirit. Rather than being joyously carried along by God’s Spirit, we have to grind out our work through sheer human effort. That is exhausting. And, working without joy, we become irritable and lash out at people, especially those who we think are not working as hard as we are. Through that we lose our spiritual credibility and also struggle with the guilt that accompanies these outbursts. Toil, guilt and anger with colleagues are a sure formula for burn-out.

So disunity must be confronted the moment it emerges and dealt with as a matter of urgency. I think this is one reason why we leaders end up so tired (smile)! Disunity has a nasty way of surfacing when we are most busy! We could lay aside the peacemaking role by saying that we are too busy and tired. That is what many of us do, but the consequences of this neglect are terrible. Like Jesus and Paul, leaders must take the first steps in initiating a discussion when even a hint of disunity is sensed. We may end up tired, but the unity that results gives us the freedom of the Spirit. I would any day take on tiredness in exchange for this loss of the freedom of the Spirit. When we are free, we are joyful, and joy is perhaps the most wonderful treasure one can have on earth. “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” (Psalm 133:1).

Of course, we must try and catch up on the rest we lost as a result of the peacemaking effort (This is what I will try to do in a few minutes!). When we neglect rest we break a law of God and therefore that neglect should be classed as a sin.

Doing my part to foster unity in YFC is an area in which I have failed often. And most often the reason for my failure has been that I have not considered a problem that surfaced as urgent when it really was urgent. The reason for my neglect is that when I find out about the problem I think, “That is a minor matter,” and because I am very busy and terribly absent minded, it just slips out of my mind. A few days (and sometimes weeks) later I find that the hurt person is still hurt over the problem and is now also hurt with me because I have not done anything about it even though I knew about it. If something we consider a minor matter causes a member to be hurt, and thus jeopardises the unity of the group, that issue immediately becomes a major matter. After so many years of ministry I still keep making this error regularly. In fact, that is what prompted me to write this article! (By reading this you have become privy to a confession!!).

WHEN MEMBERS LEAVE US
Let me also say that I think one of the hardest times in the life of a leader is when a member of our group leaves unhappily. Actually it is one of the hardest times for the whole group-the potential for the rest of the team to become demotivated and discouraged and discouraged at such a time is immense. We may think that this person is totally wrong in his or her attitude. But we are leaders, and that means that when these angry people came to work for us we took on the responsibility of shepherding them-of looking after them. The fact that they are now mad at us does not take away our shepherding responsibility. In fact, it shows that this project of looking after this particular member has seen some failure.

We must do all we can to salvage the situation. And one of the things we can do is to ensure that the one leaving us is on the path to healing from the pain resulting from involvement with us. One key to healing is telling us what they feel. They had spent their years and their energy working with us, and now it is very hard for them to leave unhappily. They should be given the opportunity of telling the full story of why they are leaving. If we have strong personalities we could overwhelm the sharing persons by responding to their accusations so strongly that they are at a loss for words. We can avoid an embarrassing and humiliating situation that way, but we don’t help to heal this person’s wounds. We have acted selfishly.

 

The commercial world has recently discovered the value of the “exit interview.” It is a pity that the church has not caught on to that yet. If they have not had an opportunity to unburden themselves by telling us what is on their mind, those things will remain as a festering wound that could cause severe bitterness and severe spiritual and ministerial crippling.

They will go to their next group with unhealed wounds which will erupt when touched. Often the result is that very soon they leave their new group too. They become “evangelical grasshoppers”-and what a common phenomenon that is today!

I can tell you that these exit interviews can be devastating to the leader. Perhaps you have tried hard to be fair, but this person views you as having acted very unfairly. But if it helps in the recovery of the angry member, then it is our duty to take on the devastation in love. After all, that person’s vulnerability and uncertainty, as he or she goes in search of a new group, is often more serious than our pain. Besides, does not the good shepherd lay down his life for the sheep (John 10:11)? Dying-experiencing pain, inconvenience, tiredness on behalf of those we lead-is one of the primary callings of Christian ministry.

THEOLOGY-DRIVEN PEACEMAKING
Through these many years I have had numerous conflict situations both in family life and in the ministry. During those times there have been three important theological principles that have given me hope and encouraged me to persevere, even when the going has been really tough. It is our theology that gives us the courage to do the tough things that the biblical lifestyle demands of us, even though emotionally we may not be inclined towards doing them.

This is a key point, because our so-called post-modern generation has been described “as an instinctually stimulated generation where people prefer to feel than to think” (Laurence Wood). Now this feature of society may influence our evangelistic styles, but our lifestyle and decision-making must always be theologically (that is, biblically) driven. Some are saying today that this “Biblicism” is simply a part of the evangelical heritage from the so-called modern era and that it can therefore be modified. We cannot do that because this is the way of life that God’s Word prescribes for us (2 Tim. 3:16-17). So this is an area where we Evangelicals must be counter-cultural. Not to be Bible driven in our decision-making is to be syncretistic.

It looks like I have got caught up in a digression, but it is an intentional one. I believe the reason why the Evangelical church today is lazy about striving for peace (Eph. 4:3) is that she is not skilled in the art of having the Bible overcome natural fleshly inclinations such as the inclination is to avoid the unpleasantness of confronting disunity.

Here then are the three theological principles.

1. What unites us as members of the body of Christ is much, much more powerful and influential in determining our actions than what divides us. Ephesians 4:4-6 says that what unites us is the motivation to being eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit (4:3). This theological motivation causes us to approach the problem with confidence even though the conflict may be huge.

2. Because God is sovereign over the affairs of this world, however serious the problem, he is able to turn it to good if we let him. So we work with believing that good will come out of this if we are obedient. Because unity is the will of God, it should come into our reckoning when we think of the goodness that will come out of the conflict.

3. However deep the hurt, we know that God’s love is greater than that pain and than the unkindness that caused it. This gives us the courage to forgive those who have hurt us and to strive for reconciliation rather than to strive to win the immediate battle. We can win the battle to retrieve our wounded ego and lose the war for kingdom principles. True success is measured not from temporary triumphs in individual battles but from the triumph of the agenda of the kingdom. It is sobering to note that this agenda encompasses every member of the body of Christ, even the one who is now our enemy.

Are you a leader? Then devote yourself to in-house peacemaking. Be “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephes. 4:3).

Strong language again from Paul! This is urgent business in the Pauline understanding of ministry.

Ajith Fernando
Youth for Christ, 129/1b High Level Road, Kirulapone, Colombo 5,
Sri Lanka