Eulogy for a Bad Mother,  Relationships & Peacemaking

It’s Really Possible to Reconcile the Most Broken Mother-Daughter Relationship

tara at mom's funeral smWords to Live By is re-airing my mother’s and my story this week and you are invited to listen in online!

I mention this in particular for those of us whom God, in his sovereign goodness, had us grow up in an abusive childhood home. And now, years later, we may be struggling to interact with our parents in appropriate (i.e., not judgmental/embittered), eternity-focused (grace-filled, wanting to share the hope of the gospel) ways.

Life is so short. Don’t kid yourself—parents die. Don’t assume you’ll always have time to make it right or forgive “tomorrow.”

Today is the day! In view of GOD’S mercies, offer your bodies as living sacrifices. Forgive. Stop choking your fellow servant. View yourself rightly—compared to the Lord of Glory, you really are no better than even the most wicked person in your life. Cover over a multitude of sins with pure grace. Let go of all bitterness, wrath, and anger. This really is your reasonable, appropriate, spiritual act of service. (Romans 12:1-2)

Oh. And let me say it again (just in case you who are not my regular blog readers) … when your parent dies, you do not want the regret of having never told them by your words and your life the hope of new life, eternal life, in Christ. They may reject the gospel. They may mock the Cross. They my unthinkingly file the resurrected Jesus in the same category as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. You’re not responsible for their hearts! But you ARE responsible to love your enemy (even if your enemy is your parent). Do good. Pray. Bless and never curse. And tell them the good—the BEST—news.

My mother died a few months ago and I still miss her every day. But I do not live with regrets over years of bitterness or lack of love or a failure to share Christ with her—in person, in writing, on the phone. Even as her brain was failing for lack of oxygen as her heart was functioning at less than seven percent, she said back to me a crystal-clear summary of justification by faith alone by grace alone. Only  God knows if her heart was changed and she actually BELIEVED it. But I know that she KNEW it—and that she knew I loved her with all my heart.
 
I pray that will have the same experience in your own relationships with your parents—especially if you had a difficult relationship growing up.

Sending you my love from Ohio!

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
My second most popular blog post since my mother’s passing has been my article on, How to Write a Eulogy for a Bad Mother / A Mother Who Didn’t Love You My most popular has been my eulogy for her.So I know I’m not the only one whose life has been touched by this topic.
 

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