Different Responses to Suffering

When I have the privilege of teaching on biblical peacemaking, I always have the concurrent privilege of visiting and praying with people who are suffering. Conflict & suffering go hand in hand — and I spend my breaks, meal times, and late nights seeking the Lord with hurting Believers.

Last night I was struck again by how varied our responses to conflict and suffering can be. I was spending time with some friends and we were discussing our pastor’s sermon from last Sunday. (He is currently preaching on Habakkuk — so as you might imagine, we are deep into the topic of suffering.) As we began the conversation, I was quietly thinking to myself how two of the people present have suffered so much in their lives–and yet they are loving, faithful, (imperfect like all of us–yes), sweet, fun, wonderful people.

But here’s the part that knocks me over …

As we were all discussing the different causes of suffering, the philosophical problem of evil, how God uses suffering to discipline (but not punish) us, taking joy in our suffering, etc. etc., both of these people reflected to the group on how they hadn’t really suffered much in their lives.

What?
What?

I couldn’t believe it and, as you might imagine knowing me, I couldn’t remain silent any longer …

“You haven’t suffered?!” I asked. “I don’t even know what to say! Of all the people I know, you have suffered so much!” Tears came to my eyes as I looked at these friends whom I love and I reflected for just a nanosecond on how much they have been hurt in their lives–especially by people who should have been their staunchest supporters, defenders, protectors, friends.

Do you know how they responded?

They talked about their own sin and depravity and how they deserve much, much worse–yet God lavishes grace on them.

They reflected on the blessings and joys in their lives–not denying their pain, not stoically pretending it doesn’t exist, but likewise not focusing on it and dwelling on it every day.

They quietly mentioned how much other people are “really” suffering — and how their own life experiences, though painful, simply can’t compare.

As I listened to them, I mentally replayed conversations with other Christians that I’ve had where the person sitting before me self-righteously demands, “I don’t deserve this!” (When, really, apart from Christ, we all deserve Hell.) Times when Believers are called to suffer every day, day in and day out, with an unloving and ungrateful in-law or spouse, a disabled or rebellious child, a miserable work experience–and instead of persevering, they run away and try to justify it with the unbiblical notion that, “God wants me to be happy.”

(OK, honestly, in addition to other people, I was also cringing as I mentally replayed days, weeks, months, and even years when I struggled with such selfish and faithless responses to suffering.)

How I pray that we will all keep our eyes fixed on eternity and remember that this life, whether we live to be 80, 90, or 100, is our only time to suffer well.

And instead of responding to our suffering with bitterness and rage, we will truly learn to grieve with hope, find comfort in the Comforter, and actually begin to count it all joy. May we grow up into Him Who is our Head! Who suffered for us.

Yes, we can prayerfully, humbly, shrewdly battle evil. You bet.
Yes, we can seek to change our circumstance even as we are content in it (the secret jewel of Christian contentment!).

But oh! That we may respond with faith in God and trust in His perfect love and wisdom–especially when the dark times come. For the dark times are temporary! But the Light is eternal.

‘Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.’ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18