Relationships & Peacemaking
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Wisdom re: Confrontation from Pastor Jack Miller
I’m really enjoying The Heart of a Servant Leader: Letters from Jack Miller. Consider just a brief excerpt from a letter encouraging an elder who was needing to confront a member of the church regarding a sensitive topic: ‘In circumstances of high emotional intensity, I assume almost automatically that there have been some miscommunications and misapprehensions which need to be taken seriously. So I pray for wisdom to see what things may be heating up the situation unnecessarily and confusing communication. One of the things that almost always turns up is a feeling of rejection in the person being counseled in a conflict situation. The presence of this feeling…
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God is the party wronged, and yet he sues for peace with us.
I’m not feeling very peacemake-y these days. If I feel anything at all re: certain relationships, it’s pretty much just anger and disappointment. But honestly, I’m so tired and sick of things, that mostly, I don’t feel anything at all. (Not good. I know. Very not good.) But there is hope! Even for weary people like me. Listen to how Thomas Brooks describes it: “Ah! How does the God of peace, by his Spirit and messengers, pursue after peace with poor creatures! God first makes offer of peace to us: ‘We pray you in Christ’s stead, be you reconciled to God’ (2 Corinthians 5:20). God’s grace first kneels to us! God…
- Hope in Suffering, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Sticking with People is Frustrating … You Will Suffer Pain if You are Committed to People
What a contrast in articles! The first is what I would charitably characterize as a, well, not very gracious, thoughtful, or helpful article on why every woman should “ditch the guilt” dropping her little baby off with the “professionals” because staying home with young children can “drive you bonkers,” “give you a back problem and a brain ache,” and women “just need more.” (If you’re really interested, you can read it here, but I think there are far better articles “out there” that graciously and intelligently address this important wisdom issue. And I do think it is a wisdom issue—so discernment, humility, and love are required when we talk about…
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Don’t Kid Yourself — Parents Die
(A repost from 2013.) Thanks to my astoundingly generous sister, I have had an iPhone for one year now. She bought it for me mostly because it was the same cost as renting a GPS for me for one of my events that required me to drive—and she knows that I am the MOST spatially-confused human on the planet. I get lost in my own neighborhood, more or less navigating in a new, large city. Sixteen lanes of 75 mph traffic doesn’t bother me—I am a confident and competent driver—but trying to be “in my map” and figure out whether I’m supposed to turn left or right? Well. It’s…
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You can tell me a hundred times not to take it personally, but by that time, I probably already am.
Years ago (I often hold sensitive topics that involve other people for months or even years before writing publicly on them because I always want to guard confidentiality), I received what can only be described as an extremely critical email from a stranger. For whatever reason, she felt quite confident in not only her own abilities and insights, but also in the appropriateness of her sharing those insights with me. This was not a conversation or even an invitation to a conversation—the was all one-directional: “Tara. I have observed this about you and I’m going to tell you a whole bunch of things about you now—all things that are weaknesses about…
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Stupid Ol’ Apology
Earlier today, the girls and I had to run to our doctor’s office for a quick well-child check. The entire outing took less than an hour and everything went perfectly on time. But, in one of those “tell your children about your BIG GIANT FAILURE” kind of teaching moments … (Because wow! They sure do love to hear about when we’ve blown it, don’t they?!) … I told them about a visit to this doctor’s office that did not go nearly as well … Years ago, I rushed and rushed to get through our morning, pack up the (much younger) kids, get them to my friend’s house, and make it to my appointment…
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You Can Be Lovable
During my undergraduate years, I was blessed to study under Dr. Paul T. Jensen. He taught not only my Presidential Scholar Philosophy of Theology classes (at school), he also taught the adult Sunday School class in our little Presbyterian church. Dr. Jensen was the first person to introduce me to Calvin and Luther; to send me to Jonathan Edwards; and to make me my first ever xeroxes of scholar-level journal articles on issues of faith and logic. He was and is a thinker and a humble man–two of my favorite characteristics in a person. So I always chuckle just a little bit when I remember that, in addition to introducing me to great books, Dr.…
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Grace-driven acceptance of a person does not mean open-ended availability …
I read a lot when I am in a season of insomnia (like right now). I try to pray, too. And sometimes I even exercise! But mostly, I read. Old stuff, new stuff; happy stuff, blue stuff. OK. Not really blue stuff—but exhaustion also makes me punchy, so sometimes the silliness comes out in Seussian rhymes. And gaffes. (Like last night when I was looking up a friend’s address to send his wife and him a card and I accidentally Facetimed him at 3AM! Poor guy. But also a nice guy—he just laughed it off and told me he prayed for our family as he rolled over and went back to…
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PCA Women’s Ministry Connection Series – Videos on Key Doctrines and Women’s Ministry Topics
I am so grateful for the entire PCA Discipleship Ministries team (PCA = my denomination, the Presbyterian Church in America)! Their prayerful, sacrificial and wise ministry creates wonderful, biblical, Christ-centered resources and events for our denomination and I thank God for them every day. This year, the PCA women’s ministry is releasing a series videos to help connect women to key doctrines and Women’s Ministry topics. Each video is paired with questions for your own personal reflection and to encourage conversation and connection among your women’s ministry too. I encourage you to check them all out! I was so honored to get to participate: To access the other videos and the discussion questions for the PCA…
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Ministers are Suspicious, Insecure and Jealous People
Or so says, Rev. Dr. Ligon Duncan in a sermon that I encourage every one of you to listen to: Who is the Greatest? (Taken from Luke 9:46-56 ESV …) An argument arose among them as to which of them was the greatest. But Jesus, knowing the reasoning of their hearts, took a child and put him by his side and said to them, “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is the one who is great.” John answered, “Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we…