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Category Archive for: ‘Perfectionism & Shame’

Being Human vs. Sinning

I’ve had many long conversations with children about the differences between life in a fallen world as a fallen human being and intentional sin. These discussions often come up after a chld has been given an instruction or correction, and he or she over-reacts with very strong emotions that often manifest themselves as anger. They can try to hold it in …

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That Time I Utterly and Completely Failed and Caused a DISASTER! (Almost.)

Countless descriptions exist for personality types. Some of us are “high strung”; others are “low key.” We can be “linear,” “drivers,” or “random creatives,” etc. etc. For those of us parenting pre-teens and teens we may even see some of them going in and out of these various personalities over and over again in the same day. Sometimes even in the same …

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Christmas is a Vulnerable Time

Well! Today I left my house for the first time in two weeks. I was finally cleared by my surgeon to start Physical Therapy (yay!) and I am looking very forward to the hard work of rebuilding my strength and mobility. It was such a missing month for me—for all intents and purposes, I pretty much went “deep and dark”/”off …

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How Fred Responded When I Asked Him Last Week if I Had Ruined His Life

Last week was a particularly hard week for Fred and me. At one point, seeing the marks of searing pain on Fred’s face (again), I was overcome by the sense that all of his worst suffering in life was because of me. (Maybe not entirely because of me, since, sure, I know my theology and I know we have three real enemies: Satan, the world, our flesh. …

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Preaching to Him Will Only Deepen His Guilt

Yesterday, I had a wonderfully interesting and edifying conversation about the difference between guilt and shame—and why assurances of forgiveness do not comfort us when we are burdened by ungodly shame. (For more on that topic, I encourage you to read one of the few books I have ever endorsed–Ed Welch’s excellent book, Shame Interrupted. And Judy and I also have a chapter …

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The Day I Hit our HOUSE with Fred’s TRUCK

Today, my darling husband has been working hard on a number of projects both inside and outside of our home. I have to admit … as he worked on the bushes by our driveway, I was tempted to cringe a tiny bit as I remembered the time I accidentally drove over them—damaging the bushes, to be sure, but far more …

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Sane Faith in the Insanity of Life (David Powlison)

I’m rereading some of my old CCEF Journal of Biblical Counseling articles (on good old fashioned paper) and I’m also beginning to get acquainted with their online library. This classic series from David Powlison is on the CCEF website and I encourage you to slowly read and process it, especially if, like me, you are convicted that some areas of …

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Does the Neglect and Abuse of Your Childhood Sometimes Still Jump Up and Surprise You (Even as an Adult, Christian Woman)?

Recently, a dear friend of mine wept silent streams of tears as she learned a little bit more about my childhood and some of the suffering I experienced in my family of origin. This is not a topic I talk about often, but when I do, it does not currently hurt me. It did at first. The ache; the ripping open …

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Learning how to put away CLAMOR (“a loud and confused noise, esp. that of people shouting vehemently”)

I know I have blogged about this topic in the past: One Day, You Will Rarely, Rarely Ever Feel Rage, Tara But given the TRYING day I had yesterday and the EVEN WORSE day I am having today as I jump from airport to airport, airplane to airplane, trying to dance the “winter weather + mechanical failures” jig, the topic …

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So Tara? Do you think it could just be PRIDE?

It’s that time of the year again. The time of tinsel and creches and (my) panic attacks related to accompanying the church choir. Oh oh oh. Why don’t I ever remember how terrible this feels for myself and DECLINE this invitation to serve when it rolls around each fall? Is it because I adore the conductor? She is, beyond a …

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