Hope in Suffering
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Are you paralyzed because you don’t know how others will respond? You can’t see the future?
Wow. I really needed this today, Cap’n Dave. Thank you!
- Hope in Suffering, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Peace Amidst Holiday Strife, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS WHEN HOME ISN’T SAFE (PART 1) – by Dan Doriani
I have always admired and enjoyed Dr. Dan Doriani. But I didn’t know this part of his life story until I read it on the Gospel Coalition’s website this past week. This is worth the read, my friends: Home for the Holidays When Home Isn’t Safe (Part 1)
- Child Protection / Abuse in the Church, Hope in Suffering, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse, Trauma Recovery
On Being Assaulted
If you have ever read my “Child Protection First / Abuse in the Church” posts, then you know that I have strong convictions about our duties to keep our children as safe as possible. Some of this is based on the sad reality of my childhood (“I Do Not Have One Childhood Memory Apart from P*rnography”). Some of this is based on the fact that when I oversaw all of the Christian conciliation cases and church/organizational conflicts at Peacemaker Ministries, I learned that far, far too many churches are far, far too trusting when it comes to nursery workers and youth volunteers (“Are you still closing your eyes to the real risk of child…
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Begging Jesus for Sleep
Last week I endured one of my (relatively common) stretches of insomnia. It was, as always, incredibly hard to bear. If you have never struggled with acute, lasting sleeplessness (the kind that goes for hour after hour, night after night), please know that I am thrilled for you. I rejoice as I leave the room with my sleeping-soundly husband and walk past the room with my sleeping-soundly children, accompanied by my formerly-sleeping-soundly Golden Retriever (who always tries to keep me company during my marathon stretches of being up all night—but even she, ultimately, collapses in sleep at my feet after a certain amount of hours). One of my dearest friends…
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Does the Neglect and Abuse of Your Childhood Sometimes Still Jump Up and Surprise You (Even as an Adult, Christian Woman)?
Recently, a dear friend of mine wept silent streams of tears as she learned a little bit more about my childhood and some of the suffering I experienced in my family of origin. This is not a topic I talk about often, but when I do, it does not currently hurt me. It did at first. The ache; the ripping open of my chest as though I would die; the hot feeling of acid on every inch of my skin and the acute, instinctual reaction to pull back from every single person? I felt it all as a young adult when I first started to look back, acknowledge what had happened to…
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Six Deaths in 36 Days
On any given day, I love being an early morning riser. I used to love it as a child, when I would follow my dad around the house as he went through his morning routine—I’d even tuck a handkerchief and old men’s wallet and little black comb into MY pants pocket too because I wanted to be just like him. I loved not being tired at 6:30AM jazz band and swing choir rehearsals in high school. And I have always loved the freshness and encouragement of super early morning walks—it’s such a perfect time to be outdoors, take deep breaths, and think, reflect, pray, and enjoy. (My non-early-morning-riser friends undoubtedly disagree with…
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An Abuse Survivor Learns to Show Mercy to Her Abuser
A friend emailed me today asking for trustworthy resources on how an abuse survivor can persevere in wise, godly, appropriate responses to her abuser. This friend was particularly interested in persevering in love and mercy toward her abuser because he is repentant and also because all of the other civic authority and ecclesiastical authority issues associated with his abuse are also being wisely and appropriately addressed. So I did what I always do when someone asks me for biblical, trustworthy counsel on complicated issues. I first looked at The Journal of Biblical Counseling and all of the CCEF resources available online. I was not disappointed with the results: An Abuse Survivor Learns to…
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God can and does use weak, sick, discouraged, beat-down, lonely, struggling saints, who cry to him day and night, to accomplish amazing things for his glory.
I remember listening to this years ago and being blown away by what John Piper taught about the life of David Brainerd: Oh, That I May Never Loiter On My Heavenly Journey! (If you, like me, prefer to read rather than listen, the entire message is also transcribed on that link. One of the many reasons why I love DesiringGod.org so much.) I heard this message before I ever read D. Martyn-Lloyd Jones’, Spiritual Depression, and it was the first time (other than a snippet of a Focus on the Family broadcast from the 1980’s) that I had ever heard the word “depression” associated with a Christian. I resonated deeply…
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Ye Fearful Saints, Fresh Courage Take
Just in case you haven’t recently re-read all of the words to the hymn I quoted briefly in my first post from today, here they are for your enjoyment and edification. (By the way … the first time someone quoted this hymn to me, I was in a dark season of the worst suffering of my life. I could barely breathe in and out each morning. Everything around me was collapsing. Nothing made sense. My bones were crushed. I had never felt more angry and more depressed and more alone. So when someone said, “Trust God!” and “God moves in a mysterious way!”, deep inside, all I felt was MAD.…
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Suicide Survivors: “Being with Someone Grieving that Intensely is Scary, but Necessary”
I remember every time I have spoken with and prayed with someone whose life was touched by suicide (or suicide attempts). For many of these dear people, as I entered into their pain (and sometimes shared my own story of rescuing my mother from her suicide attempt when I was a young teenager), it was the first time they felt heard and understood and accepted. I think of these conversations as “2 Corinthians 1” moments: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are…