Knowing how much I appreciate Ed Welch’s, Blame it on the Brain: Distinguishing Chemical Imbalances, Brain Disorders, and Disobedience, a woman in my church recommended that I get a hold of Dr. Welch’s first book on this topic, Counselor’s Guide to the Brain and Its Disorders: Knowing the Difference between Disease and Sin. I’m glad to have both of them, but I must admit, the 1991 publication date makes me long for a new book on this topic from CCEF (the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation)—the study of the brain has had many changes (advancements?) in the last twenty years. Maybe they’ll be publishing something in time for their big conference this…

Just like Churchill’s “black dog,” my heart sometimes struggles with “dark thoughts” that would rightly be described, I’m sure, as “depression” or “spiritual depression.” I won’t beleaguer this post with lots of specifics, but I will let you all know that last night even I realized that my thoughts were spiraling into “the bad place.” And I did reach out for help—and I’m receiving help. Lots of tears. Baby steps of real life progress. But this morning I woke up without a crushing pressure on my chest, so that’s a real grace! I also wanted to be sure to let you all know how much I appreciate the kind emails…

I just decided that I’m going to have to (temporarily) stop reading One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Life Fully Right Where You Are. My reasoning is two-fold: A. It’s mascara-smearingly-embarrassing to cry this much in the Minneapolis airport; and B. I’m grateful for this lovely Kindle. Truly I am! But. I need to write in the margins. I need to take notes. I need to process and whatever that little “menu” button might lead me to (“add a note or highlight”), it’s just not the same. So I’m going to pause and jump back to my brain candy of Garlic & Saphires: The Secret Life of a Critic…

‘If any enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.’ Psalm 55:12-13 (No. No.  I’m not having any conflict with anyone at the moment—praise the good Lord!—but I am prepping my, “This is Ministry. It hurts.” workshop at this weekend’s PCA Women in the Church Leadership Training Conference.)  

I often have to remind myself that teenagers today weren’t even alive when the crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger died right before our eyes on this date, January 28, twenty-five years ago. They weren’t assembled in front of a little television, rolled into the history room on a black cart from the library. They weren’t happy to be avoiding a boring lecture by getting to watch … hey … what just happened? Did it just EXPLODE? Yes. Right there. It did explode. Seven people were there and then they were not there. They “slipped the surly bonds of earth and touched the face of God.” And we were flooded…

Carolyn McCulley has recommended a book that I really want to read. (But oh! I’m trying SO hard to not indulge in my book lovin’ habit in 2011. Our budget simply cannot allow it. I must must must get used to libraries and lists and waiting!): The Undistracted Widow — Living for God after Losing Your Husband While directed, obviously, at widows, Carolyn has a recent blog post up that explains how really, the biblical truths are applicable to any person who has felt deep loss re: relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, parent/child relationships). I am thinking of it in particular for one dear friend who is facing debilitating, degenerative struggles…

Yesterday, I spent almost the entire 90 minutes of Kirk Thornburg’s funeral weeping. It was embarrassing, really. Not a few polite tears. Weeping. (The unattractive need for vast amounts of tissues accompanying my red-faced, mascara-washed-out-eyes didn’t help things.) In reflecting on why I wept, I realized a few things: – Kirk was the polar opposite of me in so many ways. The memorials before the sermon described him as “kind, content, always even tempered”; “easy to be around”; “patient”; “not easily agitated or annoyed”; one who “never demanded to be the center of attention and never drew the spotlight.” Yeah. Seriously. Could you have a less apt description of ME?…

I am grateful for Pastor Tchividjian’s blog entry letting me know that Roger Nicole died last night. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Dr. Nicole’s article on polemic theology is the non-CCEF article to which I have referred the most people. What a great man he was. A true churchman. In celebration of his life and his Lord, here is Dr. Nicole’s inimitable article yet again. Rejoicing with that he is resting in true peace now, but praying for his family in their loss: Polemic Theology: How to Deal with Those Who Differ From Us    

Today I have been praying in a particularly focused way for specific people in my life who are suffering. I won’t say more about their various situations because their stories are not mine to tell. But I said something to one of my most beloved friends today that SHE had actually said to me (repeatedly) when I was going through my dark, soul-wrenching, felt hopeless season of suffering many years ago: “Every day of the rest of your life will not feel like this. It won’t. I know you can’t feel that right now. That’s OK. But I know it’s true, so I’m going to keep telling you it until…

I never read “Wrestling with an Angel” without tissues nearby. Tears are inevitable because, as I tell Sophie every time she weeps when saying goodbye to someone she loves: “It’s OK to cry. It’s good to cry. Our tears mean that we love.” And MAN does this father love his son. Yes, he obviously loves his wife and other kids too, and he is a man greatly loved by God—but his love for his disabled son, and his strong verbal gifts to communicate that love to us, make this blog a must read. Well. As long as you don’t mind crying a bit. Enjoy this taste of grace even in…