Fear Not!

  • Fear Not!,  Hope in Suffering,  Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Redemptive Relationships,  Relationships & Peacemaking,  Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse

    Apart from a miracle, a good relationship with this person is probably never going to happen. That’s OK. Grieve it. And LET. IT. GO.

    I once received an email from a good friend (let’s call her “Mary”), who wanted to know if I had any ideas for how she could minister to someone in her workplace (a Christian parachurch ministry) who was suffering greatly because of a difficult relationship with her parents. Apparently, this coworker was “terrified” of this relationship (to use her own words); she was “distraught” and “destroyed” over how they treated her. Knowing that some of us have similar difficult relationships in our lives, I thought I would redact the identifying information and share some of my response with you. I hope it is a blessing to you! Sending my love—…

  • Fear Not!,  Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse,  Trauma Recovery

    Some Things that have Helped Me in My Struggle with Anxiety

    If you ever want to see who your true friends are, struggle through trauma therapy after being assaulted. Man. Real friends can BRING IT. Love. Anger. A text that actually makes you laugh out loud moments after you were just wondering if you’d ever laugh again. Prayer. Presence. Sure, an occasional link to a helpful article or sermon. Cards, books, and one friend in the last two years even sent a meal! (Big T!!) But really, the mark of love for me has simply been when people felt the awkwardness of what happened to me and then the REALLY awkward reality of my physical and emotional collapse—and they didn’t necessarily…

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    At the root of my fear …

    It unmasks me to admit it and I am rightfully mortified by the sin that remains within me … but, yet again, it is true: I have lived a testimony of utter failure before my (best friend and) non-Christian sister, Kali. It happened at one of my fall events … IMPORTANT NOTE: I can only tell you this story now because, for the first time since 1997, I am not flying 75,000+ miles this year. And I didn’t fly even for this event last fall. Instead, I am practicing law again and happily declining almost all speaking, writing, and conciliation invitations. So please don’t try to figure out where this…

  • Fear Not!,  Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Redemptive Relationships

    “Don’t worry, Mom. The pastors will come.”

    I just arrived in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania after a long day of travel from Montana. Some minor hiccups along the way (including a sincere PTSD reaction to sitting in the same row of a 757 that I was sitting in back in January when the overhead bin popped open—twice!—and heavy bags dropped on my head both times). But all things considered, it was an uneventful day. Most things went just fine. But one thing was remarkably, beautifully, so precious and good. It actually started a little scarily for me … When I picked up a voicemail during my airport sprint in Detroit, I heard a man’s voice introducing himself as the pastor…

  • Fear Not!,  Grace in Daily Life

    Just Tell Them You’re Not a Christian. Nothing is Worth Dying For.

    If you have ever listened to my testimony, you know that when God saved me way back in 1984 (my freshman year of high school), I was a bonafide Christian jerk. Yes, I had heard the distinct call of salvation by faith alone in Christ alone. Yes, I wanted to be forgiven all my sins; have a new heart; be the daughter of God, etc. That was all fine and well and remains the defining moment of my life and the most important thing to me, bar none. But, unfortunately, along with the true gospel, I also heard the distinct call to be a “good person” and I tried, in…

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  • Fear Not!,  Hope in Suffering,  Redemptive Relationships

    The Only Way to Overcome Evil and Fear is with Goodness and Love

    I’m not sure from where I took these notes, but they are around ten years old, so I’m assuming they are a combination of sermons, people from my church, and anything and everything from CCEF: “When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” Psalm 56:3-4 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you.” … “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged!” From Deuteronomy 31 The only way…

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  • Fear Not!,  Hope in Suffering,  Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse

    The Most Scared I Have Ever Been in my Entire Life

    On the drive home from church today, my ten year-old daughter asked me when I was the most scared in my entire life. I thought for a moment and then I replied that the saddest I had ever been was when our second child died on that fateful Easter afternoon in 2007 and then when my best friend, my mother, passed away in 2012. But the most scared? Hmmmm. For that I had to dig back to two childhood memories. The first was when the MCHS (Morris Community High School) principal sent a runner to pull me out of my junior-level physics class because my sister was calling from the University of Chicago, frantic, because…

  • Fear Not!,  Perfectionism & Shame

    That Time I Utterly and Completely Failed and Caused a DISASTER! (Almost.)

    Countless descriptions exist for personality types. Some of us are “high strung”; others are “low key.” We can be “linear,” “drivers,” or “random creatives,” etc. etc. For those of us parenting pre-teens and teens we may even see some of them going in and out of these various personalities over and over again in the same day. Sometimes even in the same HOUR. (Some of you understand what I am saying there.) Of course, as Christians, we never want to use our personality type as an excuse for lovelessness. (“I’m an introvert, so I don’t introduce myself to people at church on Sunday morning.” Uh. No no no. That’s not the way it…

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  • Fear Not!,  Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse,  Trauma Recovery

    Trauma, Anxiety, and Hope

    If we don’t interact in real life or on Facebook, you may be slightly concerned about me, since I am currently not blogging on a regular basis. Please don’t worry about me! 🙂 I am doing very well, but just busy writing for publication, preparing for my busy fall speaking season, and living real life. If you are in search of a few things to read, I highly recommend these two articles. The first one has stuck a particularly strong note with my Facebook followers—and, yes, with me. (As always, I am only recommending things that helped me. A lot.) Childhood Trauma Leads to Lifelong Chronic Illness: So why isn’t the medical community helping…

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    Tackling Two (Irrational) Fears

    I’m continuing to prep for my women’s retreat this weekend (“Fear Not”) and sometimes I’m just laid out on my face before the Lord over the profound, applicable truths that God is graciously helping me to unearth and begin to understand. But in addition to the “deep stuff,” I’m also chuckling over and truly enjoying some of the fears that God is not only helping me to see in my own life, but also to overcome. Today, I’d like to tell you about two of them … First of all, it was only a few years ago (I’m 45) that I made mashed potatoes all by myself. Without any help or…

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