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Category Archive for: ‘Eulogy for a Bad Mother’

Don’t Kid Yourself — Parents Die

  (A repost from 2013.) Thanks to my astoundingly generous sister, I have had an iPhone for one year now. She bought it for me mostly because it was the same cost as renting a GPS for me for one of my events that required me to drive—and she knows that I am the MOST spatially-confused human on the planet. …

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The Post-It Notes I Scribbled the Day Before My Mother Died

[From the archives. A few weeks after my mother died in December of 2012.] I finally dragged myself out of bed yesterday to tackle some of the dust bunnies (really Golden Retriever bunnies) that have accumulated in our bedroom and when I was swiffering out under our bed, the following note scritched its way off of our hardwood floor: “More …

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Easter Makes Me Think of Death—But That’s OK

Our Easter this year will be a very strange one. Rather than church services and corporate hymns (“Christ has Arisen, Alleluia!” and “Christ the Lord is Risen Today!”), our family will be 50 feet under the ocean enjoying a strangely-timed (but I’m sure enjoyable) SCUBA trip. Still. It’s Easter Week. And that means I’ve been thinking through our Lord’s final …

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The Last Words My Mother Ever Said to Me (This is a Sad/Disturbing Post That You May Want to Skip)

A few days before the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing, I wrote this post. I still miss her every day. *** In a few days, it will be one year since my mother passed away. In general, I’m in a very happy and relaxed state this Advent and it is a sweet Christmas season for our young family. …

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How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict (Who Happens to be Your Mother)

First off, let me start out by saying that I really don’t like the title of this post. I’m leaving it as is, however, because I have learned that a provocatively (but still relatively accurate) blog title reaches more people than a merely accurate blog title. (As the stats for my “It’s a Grace to be Fat” article easily attest …

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How to Write a Eulogy for a Bad Mother / a Mother Who Didn’t Love You

(This is a re-post from 2013. To read more about this topic, I encourage you to read all of the posts in my “Eulogy for a Bad Mother” category. There aren’t many, but they may be helpful to you.) Tomorrow it will be four months to the day since my mother died. I cry less, but I still cry. My dreams …

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Your Childhood Does Not Determine Your Life

This past weekend, Fred and I had more time than usual to just talk and visit. It was such a grace to me because I am currently so tired—tired to my bones tired (physically); tired and weeping a lot (emotionally) … intellectually, relationally … spent. So listening to Fred tell me new stories from his childhood—and replaying various moments from …

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Should a Christian Put Up “Boundaries” with a Mentally Ill Addict (Who Happens to be Her Mother)?

As a Certified Christian Conciliator with The Institute for Christian Conciliation (a division of Peacemaker Ministries), I have the privilege of participating in webinars with Christian conciliators from around the world. Yesterday, we discussed the topic of forgiveness and how hard it can for us to forgive and to help the parties we serve to forgive, especially when there are complicating factors like dangerous situation, …

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Sane Faith in the Insanity of Life (David Powlison)

I’m rereading some of my old CCEF Journal of Biblical Counseling articles (on good old fashioned paper) and I’m also beginning to get acquainted with their online library. This classic series from David Powlison is on the CCEF website and I encourage you to slowly read and process it, especially if, like me, you are convicted that some areas of …

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Our reactions to grievous wrongs are muddy, not tidy.

Hot tears streamed down my face for three connecting flights as I traveled from Montana to Florida last week to serve at a women’s retreat. I didn’t make any sounds. No sobs. No words. But I must admit, I did feel badly for the elite flyers / business travelers seated around me. They were polite and didn’t acknowledge my soaking …

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