Child Protection / Abuse in the Church
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The Difficult Task of Declining the Sleepover Invitation
Last year I read a post by Tim Challies on why his family doesn’t do sleepovers, reminded me of an awkward conversation we had to have with some of our dearest friends in the world. It had to do with an invitation that one of our daughters had for a birthday party sleepover. As a general rule, we are a “NO SLEEPOVER” type of family. But we have some exceptions to this rule—basically, when we have known a family for years and years and we trust them and their children to be not only appropriate, but vigilant, re: access to and use of technology, nature of entertainment, length of unsupervised child-time,…
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Child Abuse in the Church: Justice Can be Grace
I greatly appreciated this link from Challies and I urge you to read it and listen to its counsel: Safeguarding Against Abuse in the Church The only thing I would add is that it’s never too young to (age-appropriately) begin talking with children about these things. Let me give you an example … When Sophia was little, my assigned task at our little homeschooling co-op was theology and parties. (Great job I have, eh?!) One Christmas Co-Op Party sticks out in my mind because that week, a dear friend had shared with me more details of how she was sexually abused for years by her own father, pastor, and other church leaders (many of whom are in…
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The moment I probably came within four feet of being a sex trafficked teenager …
Recently, my dear friend Ellen Dykas put up a link on Facebook that rocketed me back to the early 1980’s. The article she pointed to was all about how young women become sex trafficking victims and it specifically explained to the targeted way that pimps hunt for young girls at bus stations. Well. When I was a very young teenager. (Junior high? Maybe 13 or 14?) My mother put me on an overnight bus from Illinois to Arkansas and I have no doubt that, in addition to being molested by a dirty, disheveled, drunken man (whom I, in my naivete, just thought was being nice to me when he offered me food), I probably came within…
- Child Protection / Abuse in the Church, Hope in Suffering, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse, Trauma Recovery
On Being Assaulted
If you have ever read my “Child Protection First / Abuse in the Church” posts, then you know that I have strong convictions about our duties to keep our children as safe as possible. Some of this is based on the sad reality of my childhood (“I Do Not Have One Childhood Memory Apart from P*rnography”). Some of this is based on the fact that when I oversaw all of the Christian conciliation cases and church/organizational conflicts at Peacemaker Ministries, I learned that far, far too many churches are far, far too trusting when it comes to nursery workers and youth volunteers (“Are you still closing your eyes to the real risk of child…
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Are you still closing your eyes to the real risk of child sexual abuse in your church?
In one of my most-read previous blog posts, I tackled a topic that I consider to be one of the most important topics in the church today: child sexual abuse … Child Abuse in the Church: Justice Can Be Grace After reading a link from Challies this morning (The Top Five Reasons Your Church Could Land in Court), I am only that much more convinced that this topic is extremely important and yet, shockingly and naively ignored by most Christians and most church leaders. (Thankfully, not my church leaders and my church administrator. But I know they have to fight tooth and nail, at great personal cost of time and effort, to…
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How to Keep Your Kids from Destroying Themselves with an iPhone
I wish I had included this link in my previous article: How to Keep Your Kids from Destroying Themselves with an iPhone And this one too (I’m not personally familiar with this organization, but a quick glance at their site indicates to me that it is worth checking out): G.R.A.C.E. – Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (HT: TakeYourVitaminZ & a comment from Tanya)
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I Do Not Have One Early Childhood Memory Apart from Pornography
Based on the number of clicks I received on my most recent post (“Three Things You Don’t Know About Your Children and Sex”), I’m not the only one who was helped by Anne Marie Miller’s excellent article. Were you also convicted like me? Yes. Yes. Just like when I am preparing to teach and Fred (lovingly) reviews my notes and then encourages me to listen to the words I am about to say to a few hundred women (“Tara? I think this is a good teaching. I think it might point the women to Christ and help them to be even more confident in Him. In fact–I’m thinking of a woman I…
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Three Things You Don’t Know About Your Children and Sex
A must read—whether you have children or you are spiritually parenting the children in your church. (And by the way—that’s ALL of you if you are a church member, you ARE spiritually parenting the children in your church, whether you’re doing it well/intentionally or incredibly poorly.) Three Things You Don’t Know About Your Children and Sex Once you read it (please read it!), if you discover sexual molestation (especially sexual molestation in the church!), habitual/addictive sins that have become ruling lusts … or if you just have NO idea where to start to grow in wisdom and to be able to help, I would strongly urge you to contact Harvest…