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Category Archive for: ‘Child Protection / Abuse in the Church’

Church Youth Group: The second most likely place for childhood abuse (!!)

Well. It’s the time again. Let’s talk about where your children are most likely to be sexually abused. Today I read an article from a pediatrician citing church youth group as the second most common place that her patients are sexually abused. (And she sees 1-2 children per week who have been sexually abused!!) This makes me sick. This makes me angry. And this make …

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99.9999999999% Sure Our Friends Won’t Sexually Abuse You

[From the archives …] I had to go back to Sophia this week to apologize and clarify something … In our “Safe Side Super Chick” and “Right Touch” discussions, we have often talked about why, as a general family rule, we don’t “do” sleepovers. It is a high-risk situation for children and if we don’t know, really know, and trust, really trust, …

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The Difficult Task of Declining the Sleepover Invitation

Last year I read a post by Tim Challies on why his family doesn’t do sleepovers, reminded me of an awkward conversation we had to have with some of our dearest friends in the world. It had to do with an invitation that one of our daughters had for a birthday party sleepover. As a general rule, we are a “NO …

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What I Tell My Pre-Teen About Porn

Yesterday, I did a quick check-in with my preteen daughter about how her heart and mind were doing re: inadvertent exposure to sexual or violent images. I use different words, of course. Otherwise, the very act of asking about things could create trouble—and I surely don’t want to do that! But as we were there, nose-to-nose, snuggling and talking about important things, …

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Things You Should Know About Child Sexual Offenders (And a story of how my friends protected Sophia at a farmer’s market when she was only six years old …)

I do not want to raise my children to live lives of fear. I do not want them to think that most “don’t knows” are out to harm them. (We use the Safe Side Super Chick term “don’t know” rather than “stranger” because most people who do hurt children are not strangers—they are “kinda knows.” Children kinda know their coaches, their distant uncles, the nice new man at …

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Child Abuse in the Church: Justice Can be Grace

I greatly appreciated this link from Challies and I urge you to read it and listen to its counsel:  Safeguarding Against Abuse in the Church The only thing I would add is that it’s never too young to (age-appropriately) begin talking with children about these things. Let me give you an example … When Sophia was little, my assigned task at our …

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The moment I probably came within four feet of being a sex trafficked teenager …

Recently, my dear friend Ellen Dykas put up a link on Facebook that rocketed me back to the early 1980’s. The article she pointed to was all about how young women become sex trafficking victims and it specifically explained to the targeted way that pimps hunt for young girls at bus stations. Well. When I was a very young teenager. (Junior high? Maybe 13 or …

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Family Holidays with Drunks, Addicts, and People Who Do Not Like You

It wasn’t until God saved me as a teenager and I began to be invited into people’s homes and holiday celebrations that I learned first-hand that sometimes, families really liked to gather with one another at the holidays and that sometimes, decorations were lovely; music was redemptive; and food was delicious. (I had read about such things in books as a child, but …

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On Being Assaulted

If you have ever read my “Child Protection First / Abuse in the Church” posts, then you know that I have strong convictions about our duties to keep our children as safe as possible. Some of this is based on the sad reality of my childhood (“I Do Not Have One Childhood Memory Apart from P*rnography”). Some of this is based on the …

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Are you still closing your eyes to the real risk of child sexual abuse in your church?

In one of my most-read previous blog posts, I tackled a topic that I consider to be one of the most important topics in the church today: child sexual abuse … Child Abuse in the Church: Justice Can Be Grace After reading a link from Challies this morning (The Top Five Reasons Your Church Could Land in Court), I am only …

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