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How DARE the pastor say that I shouldn’t take communion! Just because I’m in this big fight with someone in my church? How dare he! (Or. Dare he not?)
I always enjoy Dave’s posts over at our Redeeming Church Conflicts.com site. But this post was particularly challenging and edifying for me: Fencing Over Fights I hope you will click through and read the entire post, but for a quick summary, let me just say that Dave reminds us all of the seriousness of coming to the Lord’s Table in an unworthy manner; especially the warning in Matthew 5:23-24 concerning partaking in corporate worship before making any effort to reconcile broken relationships. He then responds to the people who were, shall we say, not pleased with this “fencing” of the Table when it happened recently at his church. One reason why I think…
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Christians have suicidal thoughts. You are not alone. There is help.
So today’s Ravi Zacharian International Ministry’s devotional taught me something that I never knew before … Dr. Zacharias himself wrote the message today. It is entitled, ‘Our Father the Weaver’ and I would post it here if their copyright so allowed, but it doesn’t. Sorry! Dr. Zacharias has long been one of my favorite theologians/authors—but other than years of study and growth in grace, I really didn’t have any ‘inside scoop’ as to his biblical precision, humility, hopefulness. Until today. In today’s devotion, he granted us all a glance into one of the sources of his deep faith in God’s sovereignty even in the midst of terrific suffering. You see ……
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God’s Grace and Truth Touching our “Central Insecurities”
Yesterday, I had a wonderfully interesting and edifying conversation about the difference between guilt and shame—and why assurances of forgiveness do not comfort us when we are burdened by ungodly shame. (For more on that topic, I encourage you to read one of the few books I have ever endorsed–Ed Welch’s excellent book, Shame Interrupted. There is also a chapter on Shame in my first book, Peacemaking Women.) Our discussion reminded me of some notes I took from a specific letter in The Heart of a Servant Leader: Letters from Jack Miller. In this letter, Pastor Jack was reflecting on a young, gifted leader who seemed to struggle with perfectionism and shame. (Please note: there is much more…
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“Men are afraid of women …”
Reading my denomination’s magazine (By Faith), I was struck to the heart and literally brought to tears. And prayer. The last article was on the relationships between ordained men in the church and women in the church. There were many wonderful, gospel-saturated aspects to those important relationships. But two quotes broke my heart (especially, I am sure, because I have seen over and over again–across the nation–how true they can be): – “Men are afraid of women. We’re often content to be at arms’ length from them.” – “Some women mistrust the men ordained in leadership over them.” Both statements reminded me of 1 John 4:18: Where there is fear,…
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From Shame to Shalom
Excerpts from Chapter 10 of Peacemaking Women, “SHAME“ When a woman is filled with ungodly shame, her response to her own sin or fallenness is to say, ‘Something is wrong with me and I need to work harder to make this right.’ Ungodly shame is a self-indictment that overrides the truth of the gospel that Jesus Christ loves me and in him I am accepted. Another way to think about godly shame and ungodly shame is to note that while godly shame may have a component of legitimate and appropriate guilt (‘I did wrong’), ungodly shame condemningly says, ‘I am wrong.’ Sadly, ungodly shame directs people away from God and…
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Tara — You told me I was nowhere near done reconciling.
I recently received an encouraging note from a real-life friend from grad school. She references a telephone conversation we had years ago, but most of you will, I’m sure, recognize in her story that ALL I did was share with her the exact same love and counsel that a friend had shared with me years ago. Plus, ironically, even though she credits me with this conversation (so apparently I did have it with her), I was actually really REALLY convicted when I read what she wrote! I’m a little lacking in the love department for certain people these days. Oh, I can try to justify it all I want.…
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Why was I so afraid? I had forgotten about the overlapping spheres of Authority, Power, and Responsibility
The other day, I was extremely anxious about a certain meeting I had to have. It was strange to feel so anxious, because the meeting was really about something fun and relaxing. And yet, I was obviously stressed—more and more stressed as the meeting time approached. And so I prayed. I journaled. And I called a friend. Her patient listening, insightful questions, and wise counsel were just what I needed to see more clearly what was really going on in the depths of my soul: I was keenly aware that this person was involved in a number of conflicts and stressful situations that were hurting people I care about. Honestly? I knew…
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Counsel to Myself from 11 Years Ago
In cleaning out my office yesterday, I came across my very old pack of Bible memory cards. I used to go through them every day (until I had the verses memorized) and I would also review various sermon illustrations, teachings I received from friends and spiritual mothers, people and ministries for intercessory prayer, and the (many!) things I needed to repent of. A lot. It’s embarrassing to see how far I still have to go re: these important areas of my life. But it’s also sweet, too, to see God’s grace at work in my life and His kindness and care for me, even while I am still so very…
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Loving Confrontation Will Not Ultimately Harm Us (Even if It Hurts)
Talking with someone about an apparent sin or temptation has to be one of the most difficult things to do in all of life. Yesterday, my five year-old brought some excellent questions about why Galatians 6:1 “rescue” and Matthew 7 “helping someone with the speck in their eye” are not the same thing as being the “proud, super-holy, Pharisee people” (in Luke 7) who judged the woman who was wiping Jesus’ feet with her tears and her hair: “Aren’t we JUDGING and thinking we are BETTER when we talk with people about this hard stuff?” she asked me, so sincerely. What a good question! And what a loooooooong conversation we had to…
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What about repeating (habitual?) patterns of sin and struggle? How do the Seven A’s of Confession and Four Promises of Forgiveness apply?
I recently had to make a “Seven A’s Confession” to a dear friend. Like all real confessions, it was embarrassing. I was frustrated with myself for blowing it. Again. I felt bad about hurting someone I care about. Talking it out for real took time and effort and emotion, three things that neither of us really had extra margin in this month. But she is a real friend and it was a real hurt, so (thank God!) we did the right thing, the loving thing, and had that uncomfortable—but ultimately GOOD—conversation. And I was, as always, amazed at how genuine and balming true forgiveness from a true friend can be. It…
