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People are hoping to find you alive …
I cringed when I read the following poem by my friend and fellow Christian attorney, David Hogue: Traffic Honestly? I had to force myself to finish it because this topic is so horrific that it would take all of my focus in life if I let it. I also had to force myself to not give in to all of my temptations related to excuses for inactivity because this evil is just so overwhelmingly huge that I would constantly close my eyes and turn my head away from it if I gave in to my own devices. Can I stop child trafficking? No. Can I give money every month to…
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The Loving of Awkward People and People We Intensely Dislike
From D.A. Carson’s book, Love in Hard Places (bold and italicized emphases mine): Not all Christians face persecuting enemies, but all Christians face little enemies. We encounter people whose personality we intensely dislike— – an obstreperous deacon or church leader – a truly revolting relative – an employee or employer who specializes in insensitivity, rudeness, and general arrogance – people with whom you have differed on some point of principle who take all differences in a deeply personal way and who nurture bitterness for decades, stroking their own self-righteousness and offended egos as they go – insecure little people who resent and try to tear down those who are even marginally…
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This confrontation was hard — but oh, so good.
Recently, I was confronted on an important topic by someone I trust and admire. Thankfully, God had graciously helped me to prepare for this meeting by calling me to prayer, reflection (I mentally worked through the Scripture passages and questions in the very same “Peacemaker Workbook” that I have used with mediation clients for over twenty years now), and listening to two spiritually-mature, insightful friends who know me quite well (and thus, they know my strengths, weaknesses, and proclivities in general). So I was in a pretty good place when the meeting started and I can honestly say that the vast majority of the meeting was deeply enjoyable for me. I had the privilege of…
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Meg’s Incredible Muffins
I am extremely grateful for all of the close friends and family members who continue to help us along on our journey of more healthy living. You motivate us by your example: canoeing, bicycling, hiking, push-up competitions and backflips on the Rims. You help us with specific recipes and wise counsel. And many of you pray for us, which is probably the most helpful thing of all. It’s hard, though, to change habits. This is especially true re: eating. “Healthy” and “good for you” foods sometimes just don’t taste very good (initially) when your taste buds have been ruined by junk food. But this recipe tastes GREAT. It is the…
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She Views the Whole of Me Through the Lens of the Worst of Me
Have you ever had a confusing over-reaction to something someone says or does? I have. Years ago, I was confronted by one of those women who just always seem to have it all together. (Do you know any women like that?) I had invited her confrontation in my life. I wanted to grow and change. I know that redemptive criticism is an important part of maturing. But man! When she started in on her LIST I felt like I was being shot with a big gun right through my heart. I couldn’t even understand what I was feeling more or less what I was thinking. The power of speech had left me entirely and in…
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Reconnecting People Who Have Been Hurt by Their Church
Thank you, Pastor Anyabwile, for posting this oldie-but-a-goodie CCEF video and your summary too: How Do You Reconnect People Who Have Been Hurt By Their Church? Some of the suggestions/notes from the video: 1. Determine the issue: How did the church actually hurt the person? What was the issue? 2. Don’t assume: Be aware that you’re getting one side of the story. Don’t assume you’re getting all the information. Without disparaging the person’s story, remember that there is another side. 3. Relationship history: What else is going on in the person’s life? Are there other painful relationships and experiences affecting the person’s outlook? Is this how the person typically handles…
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The Insidiousness of Gossip
The other day*, a certain friend “just mentioned” to Fred and me how another woman had said some pretty unkind things about us. (There’s nothing like “sharing” information about someone that makes everyone involved look bad, is there? This friend was attacking us in a sort of passive way; the other woman was allegedly speaking ill of us to others; and now we were tempted to not think so highly of the other woman either. UGH! Gossip is insidious!) ANYWAY … since our friend alleged that this other woman was telling people that we had “devastated” (crushed / offended / hurt) her, we knew we were into the realm of…
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How DARE the pastor say that I shouldn’t take communion! Just because I’m in this big fight with someone in my church? How dare he! (Or. Dare he not?)
I always enjoy Dave’s posts over at our Redeeming Church Conflicts.com site. But this post was particularly challenging and edifying for me: Fencing Over Fights I hope you will click through and read the entire post, but for a quick summary, let me just say that Dave reminds us all of the seriousness of coming to the Lord’s Table in an unworthy manner; especially the warning in Matthew 5:23-24 concerning partaking in corporate worship before making any effort to reconcile broken relationships. He then responds to the people who were, shall we say, not pleased with this “fencing” of the Table when it happened recently at his church. One reason why I think…
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Christians have suicidal thoughts. You are not alone. There is help.
So today’s Ravi Zacharian International Ministry’s devotional taught me something that I never knew before … Dr. Zacharias himself wrote the message today. It is entitled, ‘Our Father the Weaver’ and I would post it here if their copyright so allowed, but it doesn’t. Sorry! Dr. Zacharias has long been one of my favorite theologians/authors—but other than years of study and growth in grace, I really didn’t have any ‘inside scoop’ as to his biblical precision, humility, hopefulness. Until today. In today’s devotion, he granted us all a glance into one of the sources of his deep faith in God’s sovereignty even in the midst of terrific suffering. You see ……
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God’s Grace and Truth Touching our “Central Insecurities”
Yesterday, I had a wonderfully interesting and edifying conversation about the difference between guilt and shame—and why assurances of forgiveness do not comfort us when we are burdened by ungodly shame. (For more on that topic, I encourage you to read one of the few books I have ever endorsed–Ed Welch’s excellent book, Shame Interrupted. There is also a chapter on Shame in my first book, Peacemaking Women.) Our discussion reminded me of some notes I took from a specific letter in The Heart of a Servant Leader: Letters from Jack Miller. In this letter, Pastor Jack was reflecting on a young, gifted leader who seemed to struggle with perfectionism and shame. (Please note: there is much more…
