• Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Redemptive Relationships

    Are your relationships otiose? (Vain. Ineffective. Of no use.)

    Q. How can church-going Christians truly build the “ties that bind” and cultivate “the unity of the Spirit through the bonds of peace?” through intimate, safe, authentic relationships that will persevere through conflict? A. “Where a people prays, there is the church; and where the church is; there is never loneliness.” “It’s much easier for me to imagine a praying murderer, a praying prostitute, than a vain person praying. Nothing is so at odds with prayer as vanity.” These statements begin chapter 5 of the wonderful book I am presently reading: Eric Metaxas’ biography Bonhoeffer. They are taken from a journal entry that the 22 year-old German theologian, Bonhoeffer, wrote…

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  • Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Redemptive Relationships

    There is one among us who loves the antithesis of faith that destructive church conflict is (Rev. 12:9).

    Destructive church conflict causes pain … to God. Of course, it causes pain to the people going through the church conflict too. But the pain of the antithesis to our faith is felt most by God. When his eternal children live in the church as if their faith made little or no difference, His warning, “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other (Gal. 5:15),” is tragically fulfilled. What does it look like when we respond to church conflict with an antithesis to our faith? What can now be seen trumps what is unseen. The temporal is of greater…

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  • Redeeming Church Conflicts

    The Peacemaking Church by Pastor Curtis Heffelfinger

    Guess what? I get to help you with your Christmas shopping this year and it’s only April 10! Last week, I had the great privilege of reviewing Pastor Curtis Heffelfinger’s manuscript for The Peacemaking Church and I think this book is going to make a perfect gift for the Christians in your life who care about resolving conflict and preserving unity in their churches. Baker Books shows its release date as being November 20, 2018–so please make a note for your shopping list for November 20th, or pop on over to Amazon and place your pre-order right now. (No. No. I’m not a paid spokesperson and I get absolutely no personal benefit from encouraging…

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  • Redeeming Church Conflicts

    The leaders don’t help them to fulfill their membership vows? They should close their church doors! That’s not REALLY a church!

    For many years, I had the joy of serving young children in our church co-op’s Theology class. We discussed the sermon, prayed for our leaders, sang a hymn (all five verses), practiced our Catechism, worked on memorizing various creeds and confessions (and we’re working on memorizing the book of Philippians), and studied systematic theology using Bruce Ware’s Big Truths for Young Hearts. In one of our discussions, we talked about church discipline / ecclesiastical authority. I gave the hypothetical: What if I (Mrs. Barthel) was caught in sin and I REFUSED to repent. What would Mr. Barthel do? (“He would get help,” said the kids.) What might that look like?…

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  • Ken Sande - Relational Wisdom 360,  Redemptive Relationships,  Relationships & Peacemaking

    Tim Challies’ Review of Peacemaking Women

    Of all the reviews I have received over the years,  The Discerning Reader / Tim Challies review of my first book, Peacemaking Women, is one of my favorites. I am honored that he lists this book as “recommended” because I have found the majority of his writings to be Christ-exalting, gospel-centered, biblically-faithful, winsome and WISE. If you’re interested, I hope you’ll check it out. You can also read what other Christian leaders have said about Peacemaking Women on its endorsement page. Here are a few excerpts: Ken Sande: “Peacemaking Women is a life-changing book. It contains a wealth of wisdom and encouragement for women who want to learn how to turn any conflict into an opportunity…

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