• Hope in Suffering

    Don’t discount PMS / hormones … (but don’t use them as an excuse either!) …

    I had a horrible day yesterday. One of my lowest in a long time. The last week grew progressively more difficult/challenging and then a surprising and sad event Saturday morning knocked me completely off my feet. Onto my face, again I fall. There are many observations I could make about the combination of factors that went into my (inconvenience? suffering? sadness?) experience, but I’ll just note these few: 1. I think that my hormones are REALLY out of whack. I looked at the calendar and this will be my second cycle since the miscarriage and MAN–I just feel OFF. I’m tempted to not even mention that because I don’t want…

  • Uncategorized

    Lili’s fine–but I thought I might be headed for crutches …

    Eeeeek! It is just NOT a good thing to FALL when you’re an out-of-shape 37 year-old. Eek and ouch and watch out for that divot next time! (Was scolding Lili for chewing the raspberry bushes and mis-stepped into a divot and fell. Twisted my left ankle and fell on my twice-surgically-altered right knee and OUCH! But I’m fine–just a little sore.) Oh–and Lili seems to be 100% recovered and back to her cute and only-sometimes-obedient self. (Thanks for the sweet notes of concern and encouragement.) (I’m assuming it was the raspberry bushes that made her sick, poor love.) On the relational-issue-front, I had one of those FREAK OUT ON THE…

  • Uncategorized

    Trying not to panic …

    I’m trying not to panic, but Lili (our four month-old Golden Retriever puppy) got violently ill late last night and she just looks so pathetic now that I’m tempted to call the animal hospital in the middle of the night. These are exactly the same symptoms that Choza had–and then she died just a couple of days later (!!!). Fred says, “Give it until morning.” And I’m sure he’s right. And so I shall. But oh! This pet ownership thing. (Sometimes I just have to ask myself, “What were you thinking, Tara!?!” when you got that puppy.) (But I do love her and hope she is just fighting off an…

  • Singleness & Marriage

    Now this is love …

    I had a strange but sweet dream last night … I dreamt that Fred and I had been together (courting?) for 17 years–but that we were not yet married. And I was longing to be married to him–and he to me. And we were just about to get engaged or married or something and I woke up. It was strange because, of course, we’re happily married. (Twelve years this August.) But sweet because the dream reminded me of just how much I love Fred and long to be married to him. (So what a gift that I am!) And then I went into our bathroom to start my day and…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    Another sleepless night …

    OK. This has got to stop. Third sleepless night in a row. I’m starting to shake a bit. Tried praying. Reading. Even a sleep medicine. No help. Just awake. Thought it might help to journal on my troubled heart–but then I wonder if that’s really edifying? God-centered? Maybe my “troubledeness” is due to too much Tara-focus and “processing” anyway? Would journaling only increase that? Or … is that how I pray? Repent? Believe? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm …   Time to break out some PRAISE and stop relying on the faith-walk of OTHERS … But actually live out faith myself. Hope you’re all fast asleep. (Well, except for PalmTreePundit in Hawaii … I’m…