• Relationships & Peacemaking

    Dr. Doriani on Discipline

    In his book, ‘The Life of a God-Made Man,’ Dr. Dan Doriani says this: ‘Discipline is the process in which bigger sinners attempt to convince little sinners to mend their wicked ways.’ I’m thinking about this quote a lot now as I read over the surveys that continue to come in and I learn how most churches do not practice church discipline; and how those that do are all-too-often quite harsh and condemning (rather than redemptive) in their discipline. I also think about Dr. Doriani’s teaching as I discipline Sophia (my two and a half year old). I always THOUGHT that I would ‘never’ say anything like, ‘WHY did you…

  • Sin & Repentance

    FLASHBACK And frustration over my similar response.)

    This week, as I was checking my boss and me into our hotel, I had the strangest déjà vu experience. It was like I was back in 2000 checking my (then) boss and me into our hotel … and the same stupid thing happened: The hotel got pretty much everything wrong with the reservation. (We were supposed to have club level king non-smoking rooms and we were being put into rooms with double beds and they even tried to foist SMOKING rooms on us! We were supposed to be able to check-in at 4:00 and it was already 6:30 and we were being told that our rooms wouldn’t be available…

  • Grace in Daily Life

    Not being a terror …

    I recently read a short column in a magazine that reflected on a certain well-known Christian who writes and says quite ‘barbed’ criticisms of people. Thinking back on how I used to be very mean-spirited and critical myself, I was particularly struck by the closing quote in this article. Apparently, Pastor John Robinson (pastor to the Pilgrims) was ‘saddened when he heard that Miles Standish had attacked and killed some Indians.’ Quoting Robinson’s letter to Gov. Bradford: ‘You say they deserved it. I grant it, but … it is a thing more glorious in men’s eyes, than pleasing in God’s or convenient for Christians, to be a terror to poor…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    THANK YOU for taking care of us …

    Yesterday at the gym, I saw a young man working out incredibly hard. He had muscles upon muscles but not in that (I think sort of strange) way that ‘body builders’ do … he was just INCREDIBLY strong. Normally, I would assume that he is just really into fitness; or maybe he is (sadly) caught up in the worldliness of trying to attract women merely for sexual conquests. But this guy was different. Why? Because he was wearing a USMC t-shirt. (That’s United States Marine Corps in case you are unaware.) And although I could be wrong, I made the assumption that he was working out so amazingly hard because…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    Joel Belz on ‘Tender Toughness’ …

    In a recent issue of World Magazine (do you subscribe yet? It’s fantastic!), Joel Belz had a fantastic column on ‘Tender Toughness: It’s the kind of authority you’ve wanted ever since you were a kid.’ I was blessed by the entire column, but consider just a few excerpts/summary statements from the article: – (Quoting an editorial in the Wall Street Journal from fifteen years ago) ‘People want to be lightly governed by strong governments.’ – ‘Yes, that’s exactly what people want. We want our dad to be big and strong and able to do anything we can think of—except that when he deals with us, it has to be with…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    Why is it SO hard to forgive the little stuff?

    Do you ever find it almost EASIER to forgive “big stuff” than to forgive little, annoying stuff that really doesn’t matter anyway? Case in point … our neighbor is a nice little elderly widow whom we like a lot. She has a professional lawn care company come in once a week or so to mow her lawn and keep her bushes all trimmed. One day, months (years?) ago, one of the workers rang our doorbell and said, “You may want to tell your husband that one of your sprinkler heads is broken by the side of the house.” I said, “Thank you!” and told Fred about it later that night.…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    VERY difficult family situation …

    This morning I posted a reply on the Peacemaker Ministries discussion board and I was wondering what you guys would add to improve it. Here is the original question: Anyone out there attempting to deal with biological family issues after a lifetime of avoidance? The issues are so many and so tangled that it seems overwhelming to even get started. After years of division, it appears that there are incompatible belief systems, ineffective coping styles cemented in place, insecure identities with hundreds of “buttons” to push, lack of understanding the differences in personalities and giftings so celebrating diversity is out of the question and offensive styles of relating are the…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    I just assume people will bug me …

    I read a book recently where the author made the point (something to the effect of): I just assume that people will bug me. And I will bug them too. This is just the way relationships are. And I thought, “Boy! She is a wise woman.” Because isn’t it just true that EVERY relationship, at SOME point in life, BUGS US? Even our dearest, most beloved friends can annoy us. Let us down. Mess up. Fail and sin and just blow it. (Just like we do to them!) That’s why we need grace–from God and toward one another.   It was interesting reading her words, though, because I thought about…

  • Grace in Daily Life

    It’s just SO HARD to remember …

    Earlier this week, my pastor and I met with some friends who are struggling with bitterness — and even hatred — toward one another. These precious friends love the Lord, but they are locked in conflict and a devastating cycle of being offended, holding grudges, judging one another, having a charitable view of THEMSELVES while consistently having a JUDGMENTAL attitude toward the other person, etc. etc. I love them and I am praying for them — but boy! It was still incredibly hard to be with them and see their sin, unbelief, and gracelessness. Not so much because it was hard to be around THEM … it just reminded me…

  • Grace in Daily Life

    Last post on Aunt Jane’s Hero …

    So I’ll end my blogging on Aunt Jane’s Hero with a few quotes that strike right to my heart: – (Describing a young woman who hurts the protagonist by leading him on and then rebuffing his love) … “Annie was by no means the heartless girl he was at that moment disposed to believe her to be. She was inexperienced, and thoughtless, and impulsive, and had seen very little of the world; that was all.” (Oh! Thank God for the mercy of those who were similarly kind to ME when I was so very young and thoughtless and hurt so many people.) – ” … what a gladsome, happy little…