• Grace in Daily Life

    I Am a Horrible Person!

    Last night I was crushed by my own sins and inadequacies. As Fred and I went to bed, I kept repeating to him, ‘I am a horrible person! I am. I really am. I am just a rotten, horrible person.’ And I felt it. Reflecting on my day—all of the times I was tempted to hold a grudge, the ways I should have been more disciplined and wasn’t, how scared I was at the thought of tackling some big projects before me (where is my faith??)—I was just disgusted. And sad. ‘I am such a horrible person!’ I cried out—over and over again. How did Fred respond? Did he say,…

  • Sin & Repentance

    Grace For Those Who Hurt Us?

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is to give grace to people, especially Christians, who hurt us. I see this in my own heart and it (rightfully) shames me. Why is it that I can share the gospel of grace with unbelievers, with family members who hurt and reject me for decades, and with strangers … but when it comes to that sister in Christ, or that pastor—the one who has hurt me and “repented,” but our relationship is still strained … why do I struggle to live grace, acceptance, genuine kindness, mercy, and love to them? -Is it because I want them to hurt like…

  • Perfectionism & Shame

    Tara, You Can’t Grade Your Own Report Card

    Back in grad school, I once had the privilege of serving a wonderful pastor who was beginning a new ministry. Fred and I respected this man greatly and was thrilled to get to work for him. I remember one day he said to me, “Tara, you don’t get to grade your own report card. Let Freddy and I do that.” He said this because he observed me being very down on myself. Very self-critical. Always seeing the worst in me, my failings, my weaknesses, my horribleness—never giving myself a break as it were. He wanted to encourage me to think more rightly about myself. (Not to dismiss our total depravity,…