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Monthly Archive for: ‘February, 2005’

Don’t delay!

Last night I had a disturbing dream about a certain person with whom I have a relatively strained relationship. I would like to have a better relationship with her, but honestly, I don’t. In the dream, I was yelling at her and speaking rudely to her in a harsh, critical, and judgmental manner. And then she died. Right then. Right …

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Though He slay me …

I woke up yesterday with a heavy heart because my dear friend was scheduled for a radical mastectomy that morning. I thought of her all day long and prayed for her. And finally, in the evening, I got to speak with her. Do you know what she said to me? A single woman, godly, beautiful—found out ten days ago she …

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Fight Number 37

My husband Fred and I don’t have many fights. We just have the same fights over and over and over again. “Oh, yeah, here comes fight number 37, whipping around the bend … we know this script by heart …” – He tries to say something important but doesn’t quite get the words right. – I’m ‘the verbal one’ and …

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What about my stupidity?

Recently, I have been struggling with shame. Again. Going throughout my day, making Fred’s lunch, getting ready for events, caring for Sophia — but all the while burdened by this horrible, vague sense that no matter how hard I try, it is never be good enough. One day I said to Fred, “I am such a failure! Why even try …

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The Blessing of a Specific Confrontation

I learned recently that I had hurt a friend of mine years ago. I was surprised and immediately contacted her to try to work through the conflict. We had a difficult, but good, conversation and thought we had left reconciled. After a few weeks, I touched base with her again (she lives out of state so I don’t see her …

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Please Change My Heart

I’ve been thinking a lot today about just how much I hate conflict. I do! I will never stand in front of anyone and say how “fun” peacemaking is because it isn’t. This past summer, just as we think we might be able to claw ourselves up off of the mat and face one day without abject pain and ongoing strife—BAM!!—-we …

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